Please take time to help me...I really need advice! I attract the wrong sort of men! Please Reply!?

Question

Ok so im fairly new at my secondfary school, i started at the begining of year 10, and im now a term in. But loads of guys have crushes on me, and im not being boastful here. But, if i feel comfortable with a guy, even just as a friend i flirt with them, but then i fuind them feeling akward around me, and either REALLY showing it or telling me they like me. It always TOTALLY destroys the friendship, cause all they want is a relationship and "cant bare it not to be that way", and i feel to akward to talk to them. I didnt lead them on, or at least not on purpose, thats just how i behave around guys.

And then the vice versa...When i like a guy, they just want to be my friend! I THINK i bahave the same, but it doesnt seem to have the same affect...=[

Can anybody help me and give me advice! Thankyou.

Answer 1

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this. You are a woman, it is in your nature to behave this way. The friend thing.... its normal and happens all of the time! A guy falls in love with a friend of his, but she feels betrayed by him revealing his feelings for her. Of course, you threw these guys into your "Friends Zone" the moment they didn't let their intentions be known and of course they subsequently failed to attract you. The friends zone is a place where women throw nice guys into, or other men they see as friends or other people that they are not attracted to whatsoever. The female mind registers male friends the same way it registers female friends; so obviously, to you, there is no sexual/romantic interest in anyone in your friends zone. It's not your fault because 99% of men don't know how to attract a woman, so they mess up and end up ruining your friendship; perhaps the flirting leads them on. Many men take that as a "signal" that you like them. So yea, don't feel weird, its natural for you to behave this way, all women do, and I do mean ALL. When you like a guy and they just want to be friends.. well that's just pure coincidence because if you are attractive, then you shouldn't have trouble landing a guy. There's a problem there that I can't identify, only if I knew you would I be able to tell.... Anyway, best wishes and good luck!

Answer 2

If you like a guy as a friend, don't flirt with him. You are being a "tease" and no one likes a tease. You need to bend over backwards to not say anything suggestive to your male friends. Boys at your age are raging with hormones and a genuine desire to form affectionate bonds with girls and flirting with them only fans the flames of desire. When you decline their advances they feel rejected and humiliated. It's no wonder they pull away.

Regarding the boys you like, you have to keep in mind that just because a guy acts like he isn't interested in you doesn't mean he's not interested in you.

Sounds crazy, huh?

Well, in a way it is but that's male psychology for you. According to the "Guys Rule Book for Dealing with Girls" if you like a girl, you should pretend that you don't like her. Play hard to get. Make her desperate for your attention.

So what do you do? One strategy is to play along with the game and perhaps confide in one close friend (who is not a gossip) that you know what's up but you're willing to play along so as to not bruise his fragile male ego.

Because the male ego is what this game is all about. It goes like this:

If you pretend you don't like her then if she doesn't like you, you're not humiliated; you stay in control.

If you pretend you don't like her and she does like you, then you make her show it so that everyone knows. Then you can go out with her without risking rejection or humiliation.

Another way to proceed is to *privately* talk with the guy, tell him that you know he likes you and you like him so how about if he asks you out on a date. If he doesn't ask you out then and there, tell him that you'll give him a few days to think it over; you won't tell anyone that you spoke with him (only say that if you mean it); and if he tells any of his pals about this conversation that you will deny it ever happened.

There are other ways to handle the situation, of course, and I'm sure you'll get some good suggestions from other folks here.

Here's hoping you are enjoying a wonderful relationship before winter ends.

Answer 3

what you should do is either take a break and relax with your girl friends. then once you find a guy you really like then put your flirting skills to the test. when people know you are not available then you should be able to make good guy friends.

Answer 4

your not attracting the wrong kind of guy.
But what are you looking for? friend or relationship?

That makes the difference in how you talk to guys!

Your flirting is part of you, but you also can use it both ways. you can flirt with a friend or try to start a relationship with
your flirting. You have to learn how to use your Flirting!

Answer 5

It seems to me..U R a very beautiful young lady ..who flirts, but doesn't know she does it and ya attract alot of young flys...find one that wants to be a friend and stay away from the ones who want more..

Answer 6

I don't know you so I couldn't say for sure, but there's a good chance it has to do with your clothing. Too tight, too short, midriff, spaghetti straps, etc. If you ask me, a girl can never be too modestly dressed, as long as you can see her face. Save it for the guy you marry.

Answer 7

if you don't like a guy that likes you don't be friends with him either. because if a guy is looking for a realationship with you, but your just looking for friendship, he just may not understand. If a guy likes you, but you only like him as a friend and try to have a friendship with him, he will most probably think you like him too.

Answer 8

I wouldn't worry so much about boys, that'll come. As for the guys who hjave crushes, I'd watch them, becase you may be a novelty as "the new girl" I went through the same thing. play it cool if guys are idiots, that's not your fault

Answer 9

Change what you normally do. The old saying goes;
"If you always do the same thing, then you will always get the same result".

Change is good.

Answer 10

This is how life just is. Your personality is compatible with some people and is not compatible with others. Sometimes they may be compatible with you and you not compatible with them. You just need to be patient and have fun with life until you find that guy that the compatibility matches positive.