How do you forgive someone who has done you a lot of wrong to you and others?

Question

For 5 years I was bullied and talked about and I have not had a true friend since until I switched schools, but still I get bullied. I want to forgive them but it is so hard!

I was left by my dad 6 years ago, and I have been miserable.

Answer 1

Be good to bad people and you're dead.
Be bad to bad people and are you really good?

Answer 2

It's hard, and it takes a lot of time and effort. I have to emphasize the importance of forgiveness, because you don't do it for the person who has harmed you, you do it for your self. The other person can't feel the hurt you feel, and can't feel the relief from it when forgiveness happens. Only you can. It's a process, and will happen in it's own time. Meanwhile, it's important to set personal boundaries with this other person and make sure that you enforce those boundaries in order to ensure no further wrong is done. Let that person know what behaviors are unacceptable and that doing them otherwise will result in the end of the relationship. I hope it doesn't come to that for you, it hurts when that happens. My father did some awful things to me when I was a child and teenager, and my mother did too. I'm 43 now and finally have been able to forgive my dad and remember some of the good things that he did along with the bad. I'm still working on forgiving my mom, but the point is that it's possible and it will happen.

Answer 3

It is important to forgive someone who has done you wrong. Even if you don't want them in your life anymore, that negative attachment does you harm. If you are unable to let go of the hurt, then you have to live with it. Which is too much like keeping them in your life.

I am working on another round of this right now. I wish that there was a magic bullet that would make forgiveness and letting go happen. There's not. But I think that the pieces of the process are:

- Notice that the person who hurt you is a flawed human being, just like you are. See if you can feel some compassion for them.
- Notice that in spite of what happened, you are okay today. This can help keep the hurt in perspective.
- Notice that while this person did something in the past. They are not doing it to you right now.
- Notice that you have the power to stop this person from hurting you again. If necessary, by refusing to allow them to be a part of your life. This can help to take the sting out of the hurt by making you feel less helpless.

Not all of these pieces apply to every situation. You will need to look at your situation and figure out which ones are appropriate. And they all take effort.

Answer 4

Forgiveness is based on sincere repentance. Without sincere repentance there should be no declaration of forgiveness.

Those who are harmed should let go of the wrong for their own well being and remember they also are in need of forgiveness from our Father in heaven. However, there is no good reason to tell someone they are forgiven unless they have sincerely requested it.

The sentence of death hangs over all. Only those who seek forgiveness in Christ can be washed clean and saved from this inevitable penalty. Take comfort in that. God judges rightly and the soul that sins shall die.

God demands repentance for sins to be forgiven. Should any man demand less? Should anyone presume to be more gracious than God? Study His wisdom and know what is right.

Answer 5

First of you must allow yourself to forgive this person, no mater what that this person has done to you and others; Even if that person does not feel remorse or guilt or deserve ones forgiveness. If you don't, hate will grow in you. It will consume you and people around you especially your love ones.
Next, you should try to help others who were wronged by this individual. I know it sound irrational fixing things he had broken, but this will help you in your own healing.
Ultimately you must confront this person in some way, not in violence but to understand why he or she had done.When,where and how it is done is your choice.

Forgiveness is hard for allot of people, and it is more than a challenge for some.
Good luck to you and i hope you find your peace.

Answer 6

Just forgive them in your heart, and move on. You don't need to make an elaborate speech, forgive them for your own well being. of course if you run in to them you could say, just to let you know i forgive you...and i hope your doing well. or send them a little note in the mail or call them. it takes a lot to say that but i'm sure it will make you feel better-as well as the other person too. it would probobly mean the world to them. there's nothing more commendable than being the 'bigger person' in a situation

Answer 7

This is a really difficult topic...
I know enough people who did lots of wrong to me, and if they truely regret it, it'd be easy to forgive them.
I can think only of one way to forgive them, is like Jesus did.
Be silent, and endure their suffering, not harming anyone in your path... And inevitable, when they'll go on with their life, just forgive them for the bad they did, and seek other people to share your life with, that don't do as many bad as those people.

Forgiveness IS necessary.. For if you don't forgive them, it'll only haunt you, and not them!
Just forgive them,a nd know that your time with them on earth will not be eternal.
And God will bring other people in your life that can understand your situation a little bit, and have compassion on you for this!
And you will receive healing from God through them, when you learn to trust that not all people (meaning them) are bad.

The healing of your wounds will come in time. Not always directly.
God is the one you'll have to go to to ask for help on this topic!,
meaning, you'll have to spend at least some time talking to him if you want some of an answer!

Answer 8

This is something that only the Lord can help you with if you cannot find it in yourself. Pray and pray some more. In this case it would benefit you more than the person that you need to forgive. Jesus said you have not because you ask not. You owe it to yourself to seek the ability to forgive this person so you can get on with your life.

Answer 9

It's a difficult process. I'm still working on it myself. Here's a little tip a therapist told me that seems to help a lot if you keep it in mind.

The forgiveness is not for them. Forgiveness is for you to let go and be free of it. It doesn't have to mean what they did was right or OK.

For what it's worth. Hope it's helpful.

Answer 10

Depends your relationship to them. If they had been your best friend for, like, forever, ask them what went wrong or something! If they had just been a bully, think-lots of people that have trauma and a big crisis or no loving family in their life do bad things. If that's so, just be kind to them so they feel important.

Answer 11

Life is too short...my niece passed away from cancer at the age of 29. She did a lot of bad things to me and to others in our family. I have forgiven before she passed away but the only reason I could forgive her is that she had changed.