I had a bf. Sometimes I like to kiss him. But I did not really care. I loved him.
Here is the deal. I just like being friends with a guy. We tried sex once. But then stopped. I did not see the big deal people make about it.
I don't care about sex or kissing. I just like a guy as a best friend. I have no desire to get married or procreate. I do not care even about whether I have a bf or not. I like guys as friends. I am mid twenties. I just like going to work, going to college and enjoying my hobbies, and I only want a guy as a friend. I do not want him as more. I do not want to be in a serious realationship. Is anyone else out there like this?
Maybe it is because I just want to have fun, and I am not ready to be in any relationship and I know the responsibilities of marriage, etc, and do not want that?
The first time that I ever held a guy's hand, or kissed one was in my early twenties. I did not even want to kiss him, but he talked me into it.
2007-12-22 06:47:09 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why is this?
It is like when you go from guy freind to boy friend mode, that it feels like we lose something.
I just want to stay pure, and I like a guy as a friend. Why is this?
Is it normal to not care about sex, to just like a guy for who he is and just want him for a close friend?
Is it supposed to turn into more than this? Does it just happen naturally?
Because I feel like when I did become gf/bf with my guy friend, that I was just doing it, because it was the thing everybody does.
Am I normal? Am I just slow to mature?
Is it because mentally I am immaure and I still look at guys the way you do when you are a kid?
2007-12-22 06:50:09 · update #1
NO I am NOT gay. Quit with the gay remarks.
Grief, ya I am very deep person, and am a thinker, and on the inside very sensitve, though on the outside I get told that I am intimidating at times. So, maybe that is it?
Has anyone ever felt this way before? Any one experienced this before?
Is it because that I really do love him deeply?
I always examine myself and wonder if I really love him, as much as he loves me. Because I do not want to be unfair and I do not want it to be a superficial thng for me.
Because of all of the above. I have thought very hard about breaking up with him. Because he wants to get married and settle down. If I am having these feelings I tend to wonder if I really love him, and if it would be best for him if I just let him go? What do you think? Am I to immature for a relationship?
Deep down I do not want to lose my best friend, yet I do not really care about sex, kissing, etc. I just care about hanging out and do hobbyings and like interests.
2007-12-22 06:56:43 · update #2
What do I TELL him I LOVE him.
He wants to get married and wants to have a kid.
I love him, but I do not want a serious relationship. Just to go back to being best friends. I don't want to have sex or get maried, etc.
Should I break up with him?
He is so nice and perfect. I think he deserves better. It is so hard to let him go. To let him out of my life. If I let him go and he dated someone else. I would die.
We went some time a part and that was hard.
Sometimes I am sure I would be ok if not with him, but other times, I feel like I would die.
Why is this so confusing? Why is it so hard to know what my true feelings are?
2007-12-22 07:01:41 · update #3
it just means that being with a guy is not your top priority, and nor should it be. you are in college, just get that **** done before you even start worrying about boys and what they can do for you.
2007-12-22 06:52:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel like that... I make out with this guy I'm hooking up with and I just think to myself...I don't really need to be kissing him...I don't want a relationship...I guess we just have to wait for a man to come around that will make our hearts beat faster. I just think the right person hasn't come around yet. Some people don't need a relationship to get them through life.
2007-12-22 06:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by longislndgrl114 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO OFFENSE but you might like girls OR you just don't feel like having a bf so don't just tell him it's not the same as when you were just friends so ask if if you can just be friends or w/e but I can't really make the decision for so figure out what you want to do before you end up doing more things you don't want to
2007-12-22 06:53:19 · answer #3 · answered by dancer_chick13 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you may be a very mature young adult who doesn't feel the need to fall into traps. I know a girl who is beautiful, smart and has a good personality. You sound a lot like her. She was homecoming queen (in a very large school), validictorian, went on to college and graduated in five years with her masters degree. She met a man her last semester of college and they just celebrated their 1 year wedding anniversary. When talking with her, she describes the same sort of feelings until she met her husband.
2007-12-22 06:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You pretty much answered your own question with your description of why you don't like/care for it...and theres nothing wrong with that...
You may find it difficult to find men who are willing to go along with that ideal of a platonic relationship, but they are out there...just be upfront and honest about your feelings to help avoid confusion later on when building relationships...
stay true to yourself, and don't give in to the pressures of society if your not comfortable with it...sure, others will chastise you for it, and others will champion you for it...
there may come a time when you are ready to engage in activities, and there may not, but either way, if its a personal decision backed by your beliefs and feelings, theres nothing wrong with it since it doesn't hurt anyone or infringe on their rights...
don't let anyone tell you that you are weird or abnormal for it though, at least you have thought about it and come to your own conclusions and decisions about it...that in and of itself is worthy of more respect than just about anything i can think of...individualism and the assertion of that individual spirit/free-will is wonderful,
peace
2007-12-22 06:55:21 · answer #5 · answered by Caylon D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you don't care about kissing or about sex doesn't mean that you are immature. Maybe your just not ready to let go of when you were more childlike and don't feel ready to take on the responsibilities of being an adult.
2007-12-22 06:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that you are asexual [not attracted to either sex] or that you just haven't found that person that you just have a strong affinity for. In any case, do not try to remedy the problem for the sake of "normality". You'll know when you want to, and whom with. Give it time, live your life, and enjoy yourself.
2007-12-22 06:55:55 · answer #7 · answered by C.o.l.d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one, you might be a lesbo.
two, sometimes there can be a guy out there thats perfect for you, and its the kind of guy you always have dreamed of, yet, there is no spark. so you just gotta wait for that one guy thats everything youve dreamed of, that has that little bit of magic up his sleeve, and puts a twinkle in your eye. they are probably not the right guy for you, just a very close friend.
2007-12-22 06:57:59 · answer #8 · answered by Strawberry15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a bad thing. Certainly better to start a bit later than many girls who kiss at 13, have sex at 15 and get a baby at 17, while still children themselves.
2007-12-22 06:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by Buzz 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're either not interested in dating the male gender or just want to be single and have guy friends.
2007-12-22 06:51:42 · answer #10 · answered by Crystal♥of♥Iris 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋