im in college right now (19), i live on campus. my parents are extremely restrictive, i cant make a decision without their consent. they allowed me to go away for college only because i got a full scholarship that covered all costs. but recently my academics have suffered because they force me to take premed classes that i have no aptitude for and so Ive lost my scholarship and parents said that they will pay for me to stay on campus only if i do well. i didnt have close friends in high school because i couldnt hang out with them much. i now have numerous close friends who ive lived with for 1.5 years, including a great gf, who i have to hide from my parents; id be disowned if they found out. i have very little savings and no job. leaving the school im at would be terrible. id be utterly alone. i did really poorly this semester with my second chance and they will make me come home and i absolutely cannot do that. i know it would kill them if i left, as their only son. should i go?
2007-12-22 06:43:17 · 10 answers · asked by johndoe387 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ayeahajk im scere
2007-12-22 06:44:08 · update #1
sorry about that last part, i was seeing if the new details were going to replace the old ones. i have just discovered that i may be getting kicked out of my school for my grades this semester. i can appeal of course and i will almost certainly win it because although i did lose my scholarship, ive been averaging B's before this sem. my parents will do god knows what to me after this news. i cant even imagine. i have a friend whose place i can bum at til school starts again but its looking like i may not even be able to go back to school. things are looking bad. if i stay with my parents ill be utterly alone and will have a miserable life from now on but at least they can help me get back on track. if i leave ill have no safety net if i cant get back into school. my gf said she could help out but i dont want to be a burden, i dont like asking for help. im sure ill be able to survive on my own but is it the right thing to do?
2007-12-22 06:54:24 · update #2
You are a grown man, an adult and if you had a scholarship it means you were paying your own way. They have NO authority over you at all. You didnt have to take classes they told you to take since they were not paying your way.
You need to get away from them and learn how to be independent. At your age they should not have this hold on you. They have no legal authority over you. If you cant stay in college get a job and do not go back there. This only became a problem because you listened to them when you didnt have to. Its time to grow up and be your own man.
2007-12-22 07:58:30 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 19 (actually name the age) I did not get along with my parents at all. One reason was because they were very restrictive. I was allowed to go away to college because I received a scholarship, but I was not told what I had to study. I hated going home during breaks, and always looked forward to getting back to school where I had friends and activities. I did everything I could to become independent, worked doing almost anything to support myself. By the end of my 2nd year I was able to support myself and did not return home. My parents did continue to help with tuition, but I was basically free from them. Perhaps my parents were not as controlling as yours because they were happy with me getting a degree. When it comes right down to it, I would guess your parents feel the same way. So do not run away stay in college get a degree in an area of interest. You may have to take a stand with your parents, but remember it is your future you are preparing for not theirs. Stay in school where you are happy with friends, and show your parents they are getting a return on the money. However, begin to make the break from them and prepare yourself for the day you will be completely on your own. This may mean you will have to cut back some on your social activities, but what is better - being miserable or mostly happy.
2007-12-22 07:10:48 · answer #2 · answered by K K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your college kicks you out, or if your parents refuse to pay for another semester, then it's either live with your parents and be miserable, or it's get a job, and live on your own terms. However, if you have the chance to stay in school, do everything you can to stay, unless you are being forced to choose a major you don't want.
To me, it sounds like you know what's best for you already. Get a job, a roommate, do what you can. Only you know what you are capable of doing at this point. Just put yourself first.
2007-12-22 07:06:26 · answer #3 · answered by Carimel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit being an open book to your parents. You let your parents call the shots and have you take courses you didn't want and it has cost you. See if you can soak the parents for another semester's funding and stay at college.
You are an adult now, so go appeal the ruling, get some counseling, and get into some college funding for what you want to study. Maybe they will have a work-study program.
You have a place to stay, so take advantage of that.
Your future is your own. Suck it up and take responsibility. Get angry and get it in gear!
2007-12-22 07:12:04 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honestly its not a good idea. I had really controling parents so I decided to bounce and live with friends on and off for about 2 years when I was 16 and its not that great, far from. It's fun at first because you're with your friends but wait a few months and your friends will start feeling like its too much. You can't take their hospitality for granted just because they are your friends, trust me, we're all human and we all get annoyed at one point.
As for your girlfriend, well I lived with my boyfriend at the time for a bit and I hopped on a taxi with my stuff and left because if you see each other all the time, well you get it, it was just a mess you don't want to go through.
You're going to have to find a job to feed yourself and pay for living expenses if you plan to do it on your own. And on top of that you'd have to pay for school and that doesnt come cheap.
Oh yeah and you'd have to study too, keep your girlfriend happy and yup party with friends.
If you get a scholarship again, thats great, but if you slip up then who's going to catch you when you fall and havn't enough money for yourself? It's stressfulllll trust me. Honestly having gone through something similar, I say as annoying and un-understanding (duno if thats a word :)) as your parents are, stick with it. Its just a few years at the most. Meanwhile get a job and start saving up and when you've got enough time and money, bounce.
*Make a list of Pros and Cons
Trust me it'll help ;)
Good luck
2007-12-23 09:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by hi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO don't run away. talk to your parents and tell them your feelings. Since your an adult they should know your serious about the way you feel. If they don't understand where your coming from-still don't run away. But try to find a job to show them your responsible enough.
2007-12-22 06:50:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put off school for now and find a full time job and be on your own. You can attend night school to finish your degree.
2007-12-22 15:24:00 · answer #7 · answered by Goodhead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, you are 19, there is no "running away". You are an adult and you can just leave. And I would. It sounds as if you are in a very unhealthy situation.
2007-12-22 06:54:00 · answer #8 · answered by oh_my_its_linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea hit the high road you're 19 for gods sake.....your rents sound crazy. id be OUTTA THEERRE.
2007-12-22 06:50:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELLL YEA GO GET OUT OF THERE NOW
2007-12-22 06:51:25 · answer #10 · answered by christina2007102 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋