Do you lie to your kids about what happened to the dog?

Question

Me and my female Malinois do therapy dog visits to a children's hospital. I usually ask the kids if they have any pets as a way to make conversation. Many of them say yes and tell nice stories about them, which are always nice to hear (of course, I always get the "we just had litter of puppies!" that were backyard bred, which makes me cringe). But a surprisingly large number say "yes, we had a dog, but it ran away!" This seems suspicious to me. With so many people microchipping these days, it seems unlikely that all of them (and there's quite a lot!) just "ran away." More than likely, people are lying to their kids.

What do you tell your kids if something bad happens to the dog and at what age?

Answer 1

I have a HORRIBLE story about this. My neighbors from down the street had a cute little mixed breed dog that their kids just loved. Well, one day, the dog got between the kids and a poisonous cottonmouth snake. It saved those kids lives and got bitten in the process. Well, my loser neighbors wouldn't even fork out the money to save a dog that had saved their children and then had the nerve to LIE to the kids and say that somebody rescued the dog and saved it!
They just let it die and then LIED about it because they didn't have the balls to tell their kids that they were too heartless to try and save the dog. I can't look at those people in the eye to this day. If they ever get another dog I will be so ticked off. I wouldn't have been mad if it was a case of being heartbroken that they couldn't afford treatment for the dog, but they didn't even seem to care. I think a dog that just saved your kids deserves more respect than that. Heck, ANY dog deserves more respect than that.

Answer 2

Well my oldest is 4...and a year ago today actually we had to put down Ozzy the cat. and a week before that my mother had to put down her cat.

I did tell her that they where very sick and the vet couldn't help them. That they went to a great place where they could play all day. that even though we can't see them they will wait for us. but before that even she would look at my pic of my old dog i had to put down when i was pregger...and she would ask questions why he's not here ect..I told her then...

Death is a fact of life the way i see it. And I think the sooner there is some sort of understanding the better. I was taught at pretty young age, animals have always been a big part of my family.
couldn't lie that an animal ran away because if one ever did i'd be out looking for it.

I framed a pic of both of them and she has them in her room. she use to kiss them every night...but time heals all wounds...and so does a new furry friend=)

and as horrid as this is going to sound...why lie about a pet when DEATH happens to everyone, I mean what are you going to lie when great gramma goes over the bridge? gramma ran away or we found granny a new home? LOL

Answer 3

My parents didn't have much opportunity to lie to me when something bad happened to our dogs, once it was my fault the dog died (stupidly tied her up when she dug out of the backyard at our temporary rent house, i was 9 and devastated,) and the other times I found the dogs, when I DIDN'T find the dog, horse, goat whatever (yes had HORRIBLE luck w pets as a child) my parents didn't lie to me. I'm glad they didn't, I think it has given me a greater appreciation for animal life. I'm a volunteer for rescue and an animal welfare advocate. I treat dogs differently than the majority of the pet owning population (better actually) and do so because I've learned what happens when you don't. I don't think you should lie, but tell your children what happened in an appropriate way for the situation. Definitely doesn't mean give them all the gory details or tell them the dog suffered (if it wasn't their fault) but I think kids deserve to know. And I don't think it should ever be a situation where the dog died and you don't get another one, I think you should always teach that just because one pet has died you can still have another one and be happy. Things like that have made people I know adverse to having pets.

Lucy, I am soo sorry for your mom, that's awful, my parents would never do that, I couldn't imagine that sort of thing, especially when I know how much you love animals.

Answer 4

That's what my mom told me but when I tried it on my kids she got mad and yelled out "the D**** dogs dead now deal with it!" The further screamed at my children for them crying. God she was hateful.
I had no choice but to sit them down at a very young age and explain the dog went to heaven and upon looking back I think it may be better to do so than lie. Death is a part of life after all. No point in avoiding the issue or being afraid of it happening because it will happen. When is the question. And I think it would be a comfort to the kids who are waiting for it to happen to know they won't be alone since the dog is waiting for them.But how others deal with certain situations is their buisness.

Answer 5

I don't have kids so this is hard for me to understand.

However, I don't exactly know how a parent can say the dog ran away and then not go LOOK for the dog. That to me is absolutely horrible. It just teaches the child that if the dog runs away, it's gone.

Death is a part of life. It's hard. I know how upset I am when I lose one of my dogs. I was off work for several days when I lost my last dog. Grief is a natural process. I'm not ashamed to say how upset I was.

But as I said, I'm not a parent so it's hard to relate to this one. I just couldn't lie about this to a child if I were though.

Answer 6

No it would have been very hard for me to hide the facts that one of the dogs would be reaching their time to go from us. I honestly believe in telling the children the truth in a manner in which they can best understand. Sure there are tears and then it's time for a hug! My children grew up with too many dogs around them and pups too. How can I explain away that one night my dam had 10 pups but in the morning she had only 9?? I could not lie and tell them something that was not true at all.

Answer 7

I'm 17, I have no kids. Lol. But, I'll tell a story of what my wonderful mother did to me.

I got this Australian Cattle Dog / Blue Heeler mutt from the shelter when I was 14. I was so excited because my mom said I could have him, and I paid for him myself! He was a puppy, and wasn't potty trained, but I was committed to helping him. After about 3 days, my mom was impatient and getting furious. (She's not a dog person, and she thinks that all dogs pop out potty trained.) I had been working as much as I could, every second I was there with him.

I was also in marching band, and that Saturday I went away to a competition. I came home, tired .. and wanting to snuggle an play with the puppy. I couldn't find him anywhere.

Mom said, "Oh, he ran away. I left him in the backyard, and he ran away." I was so upset and I couldn't sleep that night, and was wishing and hoping he would come back. I had been looking for him for about an hour after she told me that, but she just called and said to come home and I'll never find him.

So, I went on PetFinder again - because I love looking at all of the cute mutts, and adorable doggies. I saw a pup that looked similar, in my area, and I nearly cried. Then, I noticed that the name was the same, "Kirby".

I read the description and it had said, "Sweet adorable pup, but was returned by a women that said she had no time and patience to potty train. He was misunderstood, and would love a new home." I was mad because she didn't have anything to do with the potty training, it was ALL ME! We were getting it good, too!

I confronted my mom and she just said, "Sorry." and walked away.

Very upsetting, but yes, my mom lies to me about what happened.

Answer 8

My kids were never lied to about anything. When one of our animals died we told them. We looked at pictures with them and cried together. We talked about the good times with them. I always told them even though we could not longer see them they would live forever in our hearts. I believe it helped them appriciate the animals more when we had them and taught them to enjoy and respect every minute we had with them as at some point they would be gone.

What's the point of saying the dog ran away? Surely a lot of kids would blame the parents for letting it happen? What would you say when grandmother or grandfather died? Did they run away too?

When their sister died we told them that too. That's something I pray none of you ever have to tell your kids, but we would never have told them anything other than the truth. She would never have ran away either and yes she does still live in our hearts. Love you baby!

Answer 9

I lie like a rug!!!!

I have just lost a kitten that my oldest (16) was caring for. When she died, I was the only one home. I lied to my daughter telling her that I had found a loving home for the kitten. (We already have 4 cats and 4 dogs and at the time, a litter of puppies on the way.)

She was a little upset, but less than she would have been if the kitten would have died. We have since had the litter of puppies and lost one of those. All of my children, 16 and 12 year old twins, cried all day long and even woke up the next morning in tears.

I will continue to lie to them as long as I can! I would rather them think th puppy or kitten has a better life somewhere else, than not have a life at all!

Answer 10

I must've been three or four when my dad's dog Zach died. He explained to me that Zach was old, sick, and wasn't happy any more, so he was taking him to the vet to have him put to sleep.

When I was six, our dog Freddie got hit by a car. You can't tell a kid that the dog is on a farm or something when she sees its body in a wheelbarrow. It broke my little heart that such a sweet dog had died so young. (Ironically, he had run away.) I was never lied to about where dogs go, and I was never told anything about doggie heaven either. It's hard to deal with at any age, but death is a part of life.