Something horrible has happened, advice please?

Question

My niece(18) bought herself a puppy 2 weeks ago (it was so tiny and cute) anyway, today my nephew(15) went into his bedroom and the puppy had managed to hang its self and was dead. The dilemma we have now is do we tell Louise waht happened or do we say that her dog ran away. I think we shouldn't tell her the truth as no good can come from it. What do you think?

snowflake50, it sounds like you have snowflakes floating in your head instead of brain cells. My nephew is really shaken up at finding the dog, he has a heart of gold, I KNOW for a fact he wouldn't hurt it.

Answer 1

If you're going to make up a story, make one about the dog going to doggy heaven. That's what people do...they make up a story about people going to heaven, so they are lulled into believing that something good comes from death.

Answer 2

I also say to tell her the truth, for many reasons. She is 18 and capable of understanding this was an accident, she's also capable of understanding death. If you do lie to her eventually she will find out and then will be very distrusting of you, most likely when she did find out the truth it would just bring the whole horrible incident up again and she'll go through more pain.

I can understand telling a 6 year old that their dog ran away, but not an 18 year old. How will she ever be ready for life on her own if you constantly protect her from life's harshness? Of course she'll be very upset and sad, but you can actually turn that around and have good come from it...you can be there for her, her family can be there for her and you can strengthen your relationships.

These things happen, it's part of life. A horrible part of life, but she still needs to know the truth. When the time is right for her you can all go together and pick out a new puppy...not to replace the one she lost, but to put a smile back on her face again.

Good luck. I really believe you know the right thing to do or else you wouldn't even have asked this question.

Answer 3

I think an 18 year old deserves to know the truth, as no good can come from lying to her about it. Telling a 3 year old that a puppy ran away would be the right thing to do, as they do not understand what death is. Tell her the truth. I don't think a puppy can hang itself, I'm was almost convinced the 15 year old had something to do with it, maybe, when I first started reading the post. Tell her the puppy is dead, because she lay go out looking for it, and it's just not right to give her that false hope. I'd take a picture and show the niece, and see if she thinks that maybe her brother had soemthing to do with it as well. I'm not trying to accuse him, but you never know, dogs just don't go hang themselves, it's would be pretty hard to do.

Answer 4

shut up everyone saying it was the nephew or something! you're making out that the puppy was hanging from a ceiling or a post or something! dogs hang themselves by getting caught on something and struggling to get free - stop being so stupid! Accidents happen, it doesnt mean shes a bad pet owner so stop being so harsh!


for the question, tell her the truth, as like others said, she would put up posters or something and may blame someone else for having let it escape in the first place. You don't neccessarily have to tell her it hung its self, just say you found it dead or something like that. or say it hung its self, which ever you prefer. but dont say it ran away as no good can come of it and you will find your self living with a secret that would be VERY hard to keep, and then she would be angry at you for not telling her the truth.

good luck

Answer 5

If you tell her that her dog ran away she'll think that she wasn't taking good care of it, and she will start putting up lost dog signs and looking for her wanting the dog back so she can be a better owner. If she never finds it she'll be even more sad not knowing if somone found the dog or if it died a horrible death hit in the road. And she's bound to find out sooner or later. If you tell her the truth she can say goodbye and bury him/her and always know where to see him/her. You should tell the truth, she will be sad and upset for a few weeks but at least she'll know that the dog is resting in peace.

Answer 6

To overcome your guilt be honest on what happened puppies do chew and get into things. Too bad the puppy wasn't kept in a safer area of the house like a kennel. You already feel bad, maybe since it is Xmas time share the loss together. To say it ran away is dishonest even though it is a terrible loss for all of you.

Answer 7

lying about the puppy running away could have terrible consequences if your niece finds out and because your nephew found the puppy he is bound to want to talk about it to close Friends or family if hes upset, then someone may eventually tell your niece about this, it will obviously upset her, but she does need to be told the Truth she will totally trust her family unconditionally and if she finds out the Truth was far from what she was told she would be doubly hurt. hope you can all find it in your heart to do that for her, I'm sorry for your loss. and hope all works out as well as could be expected.

Answer 8

Thats really very, very sad, my condolences to all involved. You must tell your neice the truth, lies will only out themselves somewhere down the line and if you can't trust your family, who can you trust? Tell her from start to finish what happened to her puppy, as the owner she has the absolute right to know and support her in her grief, yes she'll be heartbroken and yes she'll be angry and shell need a lot of help in the coming days and weeks to come to terms with whats happened. God Bless x

Answer 9

Tell the truth.....at eighteen, she's old enough to understand what has happened and that it was a tragic accident. If you say the dog has run away, the poor girl will constantly live in hope of it turning up some day.

If the dog, especially such a young pup, was left to its own devices to such an extent that it was able to hang itself, then I'm afraid I dont think the girl is responsible enough to own a dog

Answer 10

Your niece is 18 years old. She's legally an adult. If she's not capable of coping with the death of this puppy then she should probably be institutionalized (that, or her parents failed miserably when they raised their children). Personally I think lying to a child of ANY age about the death of a pet is a horrible idea. Death is part of life and people need to learn how to cope with it. While very young children don't have a firm grasp on the concept of death, they can still start to learn to cope with death and the grieving process.

You think no good can come from the truth? What good could possibly come from telling her the dog ran away? Your nephew is upset enough by having found the dog...do you really want him to have to bottle those emotions up and not deal with them? That is extremely unhealthy for your nephew. Not to mention the lesson that you are teaching your nephew is that he should ignore/run from/hide from his problems rather than facing them and dealing with them. Plus your niece will be looking for her dog. She's going to have to grieve to deal with the loss of her dog whether she thinks it ran away or knows it died...telling her that it ran away will only prolong that process and make things harder on her.

On a side note for those who seem to think that she was negligent or a horribly irresponsible owner because the puppy managed to strangle itself, why don't you go educate yourselves before jumping down someone else's throat. ACCIDENTS HAPPEN. Even the most responsible, caring owner can't be there closely supervising a puppy 24-7 (after all, people have to sleep). Most people aren't aware of the dangers of collars or crates with bars spaced too widely apart. When people adopt or purchase a puppy, the dangers of leaving a collar on a dog unattended are rarely, if ever, discussed. Thousands of dogs die from strangulation every year, most of them owned by very caring and reasonable owners. This is the reason that when my puppy was young he NEVER wore a collar if he wasn't being directly supervised and the reason that neither one of my dogs wear collars when they are at home.

Answer 11

You should tell her the truth. Strangulation is a much more common cause of death to dogs than most people think it is. Dogs can hang themselves easily in certain situations. Not only should she know what happened so it won't happen again, but she should also know because she's old enough to deal with it and learn from the experience.