Why do I have to get my son baptized?

Question

My son is 4 years old and I have not gotten him baptized. I'm NOT a religious person and I don't believe I should force religion onto a 4 year old child who can or cannot tell me if he wants to be involved with God. However, my son's father is Catholic and demands he be baptized Catholic so he can be raised Catholic as well. I do not believe the Catholic religion to be anything else except hypocrisy. My mother is Catholic as well but is not practicing yet she still wants him baptized regardless of what religion it is so long as his soul has somewhere to go if something were to happen.

I don't know what to do. I am being bombarded by both sides and I don't have an argument to back me up on why I shouldn't. I want my son to grow up and decide things like this for himself. What should I do?

I'm not married. I am a single mother.

Answer 1

Better to get him baptized now, then when he develops an interest in religion (if he does) tell him it is not an obligation on him since it was not done as a matter of his choice.

If you did not agree to raise your children RC when you married (since you didn't), you are not obligated to send your son for religious training. The boy's father really has no say in the matter.

You might consider it any way though, and tell the father that you expect him to come up with extra money so the boy can attend Catholic schools. They are usually better than public schools. And anything is better than fundy religious schools.

Your boy will still go his own way so long as you let him know the decisions are his not yours our his father's.

Answer 2

Baptism is not "insurance" of any sort, although you may have a difficult time with Catholics on that issue since they believe it "erases" Original Sin, covering the child until the age of reason.

But if you are raising the child and teaching your son nothing, then you have already made decisions for him, "forcing" your own lack of belief. You do not care about conducting your affairs in a Christian manner, and baptism is an essential part of a life in Christ, exemplified by you.

But if you believe in "credo," or believer's, baptism, then Catholic baptism is too far removed from your beliefs to even consider discussing this with them. Your child's father and your mother will just have to understand, you are not them, and they can't make you believe what they want you to believe.

If they really press the issue and tell you that the child would go to Hell if not baptized, tell them God is glorified either way and it still should not concern them.

Answer 3

Greetings Friend,

It does seem that you are in a pickle. On one hand you could say, "What's the big deal, so he gets baptized?" But, on the other hand, there seems to be a principle involved a principle that you must protect your child.

The child's father and your mother have been taught that unless one is baptized, he is going to hell. So, them wanting your son to be baptized is understandable even if it is wrong mindedness.

If you are looking for a reason to say, "No," you do not need one, but then I feel that the father should not need a reason to say, "Yes," either. I used to believe that unless a person was baptized, he was going to hell. However, I no longer believe that and maybe what I am about to write will help.

There are at least two problems with demanding a person to be baptized, especially a child: 1) it's trying to "save" oneself. If "good" works, or any works can save us, then Jesus died in vain. If baptism can save me, then why did Jesus die, especially since I could have just gotten baptized and been save? To say that one needs to be baptized is to say that Jesus did not pay the full price. He only paid a partial price and we must pay the rest. It really is as simple as that. The problem is that the gospel is too powerful for most people. It is especially too powerful for Churches to preach because they think if they tell every one that they are saved, society would go crazy. "Why would any one want to be good," they may ask? They think that to be moral one has to believe in God. Anyway...2) What is the point of some one being baptized when he doesn't even know what he is doing? There is no point, unless one believe his works can save him. I assure you they cannot. A child, of that age, would hardly understand what he is doing, so how can he possibly act in faith? Even the Catholics believe in Confirmation, where the child comes to an "age of accountability" and must decide for himself whether or not he is going to be Catholic. So, by their very actions, they show that a child cannot express faith at such an age.

My experience with the Catholic Church has been very pleasant. I think they are wonderful people and I love many of their practices because I think they help people and families establish roots and traditions. You must use your own best judgment. Just know either way you choose all is not lost. Your child will still grow up to be a wonderful person and will be saved no matter what.

Sister, I hope I have been helpful. Just know that you are loved.

sending love,

Answer 4

Just because he gets baptized doesn't mean he will grow up to be catholic or any other kind of religion. What it does is, and although I am a believer in Jesus, I'm not catholic and can only try and remember what folks have told me, protects your child from going to hell if he would tragically die before he could make the decision to follow Christ himself. I believe children are protected until an age of accountability, when they are able to make those kinds of decisions on their own anyway. That being said, what would it hurt to have him baptized. You have a real opportunity to take the high road here. Do the nice thing and smile and say "sure".

Answer 5

That's a tough question because on the one hand you could just have your son baptized even though baptism is supposed to be a public declaration of your faith just to satisfy your son's father and put an end (at least temporarily) to that argument or you could tell your husband that the Bible teaches that baptism is supposed to be a symbol of an inward change that has occurred when a person by faith receives the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one bodywhether Jews or Greeks, slave or freeand we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

Romans 6:3 Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. 5 If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin 7 because anyone who has died has been freed from sin.

What do you think that you should do? Since you are not a religious person but you do care about your son, what do you think is best for your son? Do you think that your son's father would just leave it alone after that or do you think that this would be the first step in demanding that your son start going to Catholic masses and attending their catechism schools where they teach children to memorize things without really teaching them the correct way to understand what the Bible is actually saying?

Answer 6

Well, if your son's father is Catholic, he has a say in what your son is taught, too. Let your son's dad have him baptized. You don't have to go to the ceremony, and you don't have to teach your son anything about Catholicism. It's the Catholic parent's responsibility, but not yours because you aren't the Catholic parent.

If you teach your son nothing, then you are basically teaching him to be an atheist. You're free to do so; there's no law stopping you. However, your kid's dad is also free to teach him what he wants him to learn. So you should step aside and not forbid the baptism. Let your son's dad handle that and just stay out of it.

Either way, you son will STILL grow up and decide for himself what religion he wants to practice, if any at all.

Answer 7

Baptism doesn't determine whether or not a person has decided to be involved with God or not...that is what Confirmation is for and it is done at a much later age when the young adult can make a more informed choice...

Your son can decide to choose any religion or no religion that he wants when he is old enough to make the decision.

Allowing him to be "raised" with a background in Catholic and Christian values will just allow him to be a better member of society and have understanding of the stories of the bible which I think are vital to function as an intelligent adult...

I'm not saying that he needs to actually believe they happened (like many Protestants insist).
the Catholic church actually views the Bible as a collection of stories and parables that are meant to teach us things much in the same way that the stories of the brothers grimm teach us "morals of the story".

Just let him always know that the decision will be up to him when he is old enough to make that decision on his own...who knows maybe he will be Jewish or Muslim or maybe even an Atheist instead...

Answer 8

It's unfortunate that you work on weekends. Do you get any days off? The church is supposed to have mass every day and you could go during the week sometimes. Also, It is good that you say the 3 Hail Marys every night with him and never let him forget them. Otherwise, tell your sister that if she finds you a better job that pays the same and has weekends off, then you'll take your son to mass on Sunday. God bless.

Answer 9

If you are not religious, there is no reason for you to have your son baptized. Your husband, as a professed Catholic does have a responsibility to have his son baptized because that is the Catholic practice. Your husband can have the baptism done and if you don't want to attend, don't go. When your son gets older he will make his own mind up regardless of what sacraments were performed on him as a small child.

Answer 10

If your faith does not support the idea of baptism then dont do it. Frankly as a Catholic I find it hard to believe that God would nnot allow an innocent child into Heaven. If you want to let your son choose his own path then do so. Hold true to your beliefs and dont worry about what others say. When hes older expose him to religion as you see fit and let him make his own choice. Many people are baptized at an older age. Do whats best for you and forget what others say. Bring your son up to be a moral, good hearted young man. Thats what matters