Muslim Brothers and Sisters?

Question

Dear bros and siss...

Is it okay for a husband to stop his wife from meeting her relatives if they are alright and she likes them???




Especially if she has put up with her husbands relatives often executing bad behaviour towards her?

What if her relatives come from far away...and she is forced not to invite them home...

I feel that if she is cutoff from all her relatives... they will start disliking her and then if she ever wants a divorce she will have n where to go. I feel this is both dangerous and foolish. It makes her dependant completely on her spouse and that is whats so dangerous. I read somewhere that what nasty ppl do is to first break a persons self esteem and then her relationships and make them completely dependant upon themselves. Then comes the torture part... it sounded so familier.

There must be SOME extent to obeying ur Husband...or isnt there??????

Answer 1

I'm convinced that a lot of Muslim men come up with too many double standards when it comes to issues like this. They come across as being dominating, controlling, and possessive, just because they're the men/husbands.

What sense does it make for a husband to stop his wife from meeting her relatives, but he can see or meet his relatives (who may or may not like her) when he gets good and ready, just because he's the husband? Since when do husbands have free reign to do what they please when they please? This has nothing to do with Islam.

I mean no disrespect to you, Sister Saa'imah, but don't you think it's callous and cold-blooded for a husband to stop his wife from visiting her dying father? He needs to see her. (The husband must not forget that if it weren't for his father-in-law, he wouldn't have a wife! Besides, it wouldn't hurt him to visit his father-in-law himself.) What if it were his father who was dying? It doesn't make sense--he can visit his, but she can't visit hers?? Is this really Islam? Is this Islamic justice? I can really see why a lot of Muslim women hesitate about getting married or have serious problems with obeying husbands. Too many of these men take obedience to the extreme and make their wives' lives a living hell.

A husband's relatives are not superior over his wife's relatives, especially parents, and vice versa. They do not take precedence over the wife's relatives, and vice versa.

Husbands or not, men must always remember that women, wives or not, are adults, not children. They have minds with which to think, reason, and exercise self-control. They are leaders in their own right, individuals in their own right, persons in their own right, authority figures in their own right, and above all, believers in their own right. This is Islam.

Answer 2

In his last sermon, prophet Muhammad stated:

"O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste."

"Friends" here means people who are strangers, not relatives, meeting with whom there is a risk that it would strain marriage.

It also needs to be said that marriage is full of compromises, and the best way is to involve other people, such as elders or a marriage counselor, when there is a conflict. The problem could be jealousy, lack of trust, inferiority complex, or insecurity. Such problems need to be addressed. What you are describing could be a symptom and not the actual ailment.

If there is no hope that things will ever improve, separation or even divorce (though highly discouraged) could be the only option.

EDIT:

Imam al-Alghazali went so far as to say that a husband should live like a boy in the house.

Answer 3

Allright, heres the deal. This isn't about muslims, it's about a wife and a husband.

Someone's husband can NOT stop them from meeting their own relatives. That doesn't make any sense, she likes her relatives and they are nice, why can't she meet them? It's not a sin to meet your own family. Another thing, she doesn't have to put up with her husband's side of the family's bad behavior. I think a divorce would be appropriate at this time, or she needs to stand up to her husband and tell him how he is basically ruining her life.

Answer 4

Read the Qur'an and keep on praying ..all of us have a destined time and all of us must remember that the world is three days some surahs such as surah fatiha- the opening has the cure for illness Surah al ikhlaas YEsterday is gone, tommorow may never come and today, it's yours so work on it. I remember it from a hadith but don't quote me word for word. Assalamu alaikum wb Also i do think it would be right for you to tell your parents don't leave them in the dark because i am sure that in your time of need they will always be there for you. Assalamu alaikum wb

Answer 5

Are you sure he's a muslim? He sounds like some sort of coward to me. Why would he want him and his wife to not associate with other muslims, especially her family? We're suppose to be uniting as one. Thats the problem with our worldwide community, individuals like him. She should divorce him and ask ALLAH for guidance, and for a better husband.

Answer 6

i read that husbands can`t prevent their wives of visiting parents for one time in the weak and other maharem (brothers and uncles) for one time (at least ) in the year
and husbands have to host the family of wives in their houses

read more
www.islamqa.com
www.alazhar.org

Answer 7

i'm not a Muslim


but i think no

a husband should not or anyone shouldn't have the right to control people like that

Answer 8

OK to whom? To muslim men, or to the rest of the world?

Answer 9

If your husband treats you like that, divorce his a##, and take him for half of everything.

Answer 10

the husband has the right to say this and if your husband says: don't visit your dad when he is sick, you have to remain at home even if your dad is dying as you have to obey your husband. You have to over Allah (SWT) at the first place but you have to obey your husband, more than your parents.
btw: i am a muslima