His name is Jordan, and he's in my gym class. He is so sweet to Erin (my best friend ever). For example, he got her a really beautiful ring for her for Christmas. And in gym, he's always talking to me, asking all these questions about my self. I want to tell somebody so bad, but, the secret just ends up going to the one it was about. Me and Jordan have exhanged e-mail, and have IM too. He is so sweet, but he's my best friends boyfriend. Tell me what I should do....!
2007-12-22 02:38:20 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
mommyzli, he would never try to get in my pants. For goodness sake, he hasn't even kissed Erin yet. Everybody thanks for your answers.
2007-12-22 02:47:18 · update #1
You guys are completely getting the wrong idea. I would not steal Jordan away from Erin. I will just keep this feelings to my self. You all are right, stay with your best friend. That's exactly what I'm doing. And Erin gave me Jordans Email and IM. Its not like we're doing this behind her back.
2007-12-22 02:51:22 · update #2
No! We're not talking alone and kissing behind her back, he's just talking to me. But in a sweet way. He's not going like "What's your favorite movie? Want to check it out later?" NO, he's just asking me how me and Ering met, and stuff like that.
2007-12-22 02:54:05 · update #3
Everybody I get it, how would I feel? That's exactly why I'm not telling anybody. I feel awful about all of this, but that's why I'm not telling anybody.
2007-12-22 03:03:55 · update #4
Oh no somebody help me, he's just sent me an IM.... What do I say?
2007-12-22 03:04:46 · update #5
Don't do anything with him. If he was really so great, why is he trying to cheat on your best friend with her best bud? He sounds like a loser & a rat to me. Trust me in that you will not only lose your bestfriend over this, but also your reputation. No one likes a girl who is willing to stab her best friend in the back & even if she were to forgive you, your friendship would be forever ruined. Just imagine if this were reversed. Wouldn't you feel betrayed? Wouldn't you feel hurt? This is quite possibly the worst thing you can do to your friend apart from murdering her.
Tell him that you are not going to converse with him at all unless she is present. Don't be alone with him. If he tries to continue this, tell your friend that he's trying to flirt with you. Please believe me that a friend is more important with a boy. Besides, if he is willing to cheat on her, he'll cheat twice as bad on you.
EDIT:
You are getting emotionally attatched to him in a way that you shouldn't. He knows that you like him & he is encouraging it. That is just as much cheating as anything else. Trust me in that many girls would consider this as out of bounds for you to be constantly talking to their man.
I can also speak from experience in that stuff like this is rarely ever innocent. This has the potential to turn into a huge bomb. Right now you are "just talking", but eventually it'll turn into something else. Just tell him that you aren't comfortable talking to him without his girlfriend knowing. Make sure to let your friend know how much he is talking to you & see how she reacts. Don't make it a confrontation, but test the waters. I really think that he's playing games with the two of you & that both of you would be better off without him. Please trust us... most of us here speak from first-hand experience.
Maybe she DID give you his contact info, but I bet that she never thought that it would turn out to be something like this. Right now you are prolonging doing what you should because you are hoping that magically something will fix itself & everything will be ok. It won't. This is one of those moments where you have to act like an adult (even though you aren't one yet) & move on. You may get a little angry at this stuff, but you know we are right. You need to just tell him that you aren't comfortable doing all of this behind her back. Just because he hasn't kissed her yet doesn't mean that it isn't a relationship. You will regret it more if you risk your friendship further. The reality is that if your friend finds that this is going on she'll stop being your friend. The idea of having her understanding & staying friends is pretty rare. Most lose that friend & either never talk to them again & gain an enemy or they only talk once in a blue moon & drift apart. Please work at staying away from him. You know what you should do. It's time for you to just buckle down & do it.
2007-12-22 02:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off don't feel bad this type of stuff happens all the time, and your really not to blame.
With that being said as much as you like him you have to stay away from him. Remember he is going out with Erin not you. No matter how tempting it is it's bad for everyone involved. You have to stop talking to him as much or at the very least keep the conversation focused about Erin. Lets say you do get involved with him, if this happens Erin will most likely feel betrayed. Just find another guy (ask him if he has any Friends). After a bit if your still int rested in him and can't get him outta your head I suggest asking Erin Discreetly rather they are happy together etc. If they brake up wait a couple months and talk to Erin about how you have fallen for Jordan ( DO NOT MENTION YOU HAD FEELINGS FOR HIM WHEN THEY WERE STILL GOING OUT THOUGH). If Erin is over him completely ask her if its all right to make a move (even if she is over the ask is critical as it shows respect and your her best Friend)
Tough Situation but best of luck
As for the IM situation keep the conversation around non sexual things and Erin.
2007-12-22 02:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you are not much of a friend to Erin. If she was truly your best friend, you wouldn't be exchangin email and IM with him. My advice, back off! You have to decide what is more important, your best friend or some cute guy who will probably end up dumping you in a short while if you start dating him. If that happens, you won't have a boyfriend or a best friend. There are too many other guys out in the world to pick your best friend's boyfriend.
2007-12-22 02:43:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Scandalous...thinking about stealing your best friend's guy. You should be ashamed. Boyfriends will come and go kid...your friends will be around forever if you take care of the relationship.
You are obviously too young to be in love; you sound like a hormone feuled teenager. Leave the guy alone and respect your friend.
And should you and this dude become an item, think about this...Would you really want to get involved with a guy who would potentially leave you for YOUR best friend? You'd be setting yourself up for some heartbreak.
2007-12-22 02:44:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're just going to have to push those feelings deep down inside and ignore them. What would you think if he was your BF and Erin had sent this question? Your first loyalty is to your friends. If they break up, you STILL can't date him until a certain amount of time has passed, depending on a lot of factors. You learn these as you go along.
2007-12-22 02:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by DeFreeze 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is transference, not love, honey..... you think you "love" him because he is nice to your friend, and he has the qualities you wish your boyfriend would have. But remember this, she is your friend first, and she will be there even after he is not (should they break up, of course!). This is very common, since all the time you hear about the best friend going out with the friend's ex, just because.....
Now imagine one thing, what if he were YOUR boyfriend, and she was in "love" with him??? Would you like it???? You just answered your own question!!!!
2007-12-22 02:55:57 · answer #6 · answered by Soni H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You KNOW what you should do, the RIGHT thing. Knock off this contact now or you will devastate your best friend and most likely lose Jordan as anything.
A good friend would never fall in love with her best friends boyfriend.
2007-12-22 02:41:51 · answer #7 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U should say to him "hey ur erins boyfriend and we can't really keep talking like this and hanging out if nothing is going to happen with us because ur with my best friend...its not right..."
2007-12-22 02:41:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you really can do. Except see if he has any brothers XD
Generally it's not right to go out with a friend's GF/BF after they break up. I mean yes you may like them but if you want to keep a steady relationship going with your friend, don't do it.
2007-12-22 02:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by mooismyname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should respect the fact that your best friend and this guy are in a relationship. You shouldn't try to pursue anything more then friendship with this guy unless you don't value your friendship with your best friend.
2007-12-22 02:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by Brian F 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋