My mom n I had probs since I was 8 and her first son went to college. Now im 19 n the household is worse. She argues wit my dad about cheatin n he aint but she is and we got picture proof. she kicked all her kids out da house and dont care bout her grandkids. steals and breaks everyone property of family members. left her brother homeless. she kicked me out May 29th. I miss home. I want my dad and my brothers. its the holidays and i cant do it. i cry myself to sleep. my dad is the only one paying the bills but she wont let me back in da house. it hurts me so much. i miss the old christmases i use to have. when i went home once she called the cops on me. i dont know what to do. can someone give me advice...
2007-12-22 02:10:59 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i didnt do anything wrong. i am very to myself. especially in the house because she always mad or want people to jump for her. also she does drink a lot. me mad a bar in her room. she smokes both cigarettes and weed. about my dad. my dad is a punk. they talk about a divorce and i wish they did have one but it never wit through. she fought my dad in his sleep. bleached his clothes. my dad just takes it all. my family not even allowed to call me cuz she checks the phone bills. i only talk to my dad at work and thats for like 3 min and he wont be at work til the new year
2007-12-22 02:27:11 · update #1
There seems to be a lot going on with your family. From what you have written so far, I would guess there are wrong doings from all sides of the family.
If your mother is cheating and you have the proof as you say, then that is really between your mother and your father to deal with however they feel it needs to be dealt with. If you would like to try and start over with your family, maybe calling and talking with your dad would be a good starting point.
Set up a lunch date to sit down and just talk about the family and let him know you want to start things over and you are not sure how to do that. See if you can get him to support you on the choices and decisions to your mother.
Another option is to do the same thing with your mother. Or maybe just take things slow, plan shopping dates, lunches, anything that is away from the house and will allow you two to re-connect together and build trust with each other.
If none of this works, then try to have a good support network of friends, and other family members around you to help you deal with the negative effects of your efforts.
You can not change other people, you can only be accountable for your actions and efforts. As long as you can look back on your life and say there are no more "What If's" as in What if I tried this, What if I did that, then you can be at peace and no you did everything you could to try and make it right. At some point you might have to just let things go. That is where you will need support from your friends and family you do have to get through it.
I hope things work out for you and this helps some.
2007-12-22 02:25:16 · answer #1 · answered by phantasm_01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you had a talk with your dad? It seems to me that he is the only one that can have a say in this. It's a sad situation, one which I feel is even more hurtful because of the holiday season.
I have learned one thing though.. you can't go back.. meaning the Christmases of the past are not something you can recreate but you CAN make new traditions. Maybe meet your father and other siblings somewhere and have a nice dinner exchange a gift or two and make new Christmas memories.
Hope your situation gets better ;)
2007-12-22 10:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by thebe_gl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your dad and talk to him. Tell him you miss him. There's a huge hole in this story...parents and step parents don't usually just throw out their kids...this lady sounds SICKO...maybe it's best to stay away from her but you should still try to carry on a relationship with your dad. Where are you staying now? Are you ok? My thought is that your mom (or step mom) is either an alcoholic, drug addict or possibly mentally ill...either way she should get help. I know this is hard to hear but you need to start your own life with good people in it that treat you with respect.You sound like a good person and you deserve better. Be strongover the holidays. If you really want to see your dad/family...wrap up a box of chocolates and show up at their door and say "I'm not here to bother you or cause any trouble...I'm just here to drop off this gift for you all." Good Luck!
2007-12-22 10:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're obviously feeling a lot of pain, and I'm sorry about that. But the only power you have here is fess up for your part in this. If you have been disobedient or unkind, you need to admit that and apologize. Other than that, your Dad has to handle it. Call him and arrange to sit down with him and talk about it. Hope you can work it out.
2007-12-22 10:19:25 · answer #4 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am really sorry for what is going on. my heart goes out to you. this is a really hard time if you do not have family to share it with. i agree that you should talk to you dad. it sounds to me that your mom has alot of issues that she needs to deal with. that is why it is so hard to love someone. you can not love someone if you can not love yourself. i wish you the best of luck. Merry Christmas
2007-12-22 14:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Liz27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to talk to her and if that does not work get someone she trust's to talk to her
good luck xxx
2007-12-22 10:21:41 · answer #6 · answered by Hollie M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋