Since last year my now 9 year old daughter has been giving me hints that she knows he doesn't exist, reason; another girl told her, so i sat down and asked her what she thought, she said she was confused, i told her that santa exists, i didn't want to take that away from her, this morning she brought the subject up again, i asked why, she said that when we spent xmas at grandmas there was no possible way that santa could bring gifts while we were up and no one saw him i explained to her that the gifts at grandma's were from each other but that if she remembers when we got home the gifts from santa were there and no one had been home. I know that it would be selfish to tell her the truth if she is not yet sure, but this year we have had financial issues and we are stretching as much as we can, i know that if i explained things to her she would understand and maybe not be so expectant on things....what should i do?, she's so understanding but then taking that from her?
2007-12-22 00:27:23 · 19 answers · asked by bebitas1978 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
There was a Christmas story forward going around (I couldn't find it to share with you unfortunately) -- it had the best explanation on how to handle this kind of situation. So I'll try to retell it, summing it up as best I can.
The story is about a young girl (about 8) who gets told there's no Santa by other kids. She wonders about it, but then decides to ask her grandma, since her grandma would tell her the truth about it. So she goes to her grandma's house where she's baking cinnamon buns and asks her if Santa exists because kids told her otherwise.
Grandma tells her, "Of course he does, that rumor that he doesn't has been going around for years, you pay no attention to it. Come along with me." And she takes her to a general store. She hands her a $10 bill and tells her to go inside and buy a present for someone she can think of who really needs one.
The girl takes the money and goes in herself, a bit out of sorts since she's never bought anything by herself before, and to her $10 was a lot of money. So she looked around with all the busy shoppers, and she thought of this boy at school, Bobby, who never went outside to play at recess. His mom gave the teacher a note saying he had a cough and couldn't go out, but she knew it was because he didn't have a jacket. She decided to get Bobby a jacket so he could play outside. She found a nice red one and brought it up to the counter.
The woman asked, "Is this a gift?"
The girl answered, "Yes, it's for my friend, Bobby."
The woman at the counter smiled, took the $10 and didn't have any change to give back. She put it in a bag and the girl took the bag and ran back to the car.
Grandma took the girl back to her house and they wrapped it up in a box with pretty paper and a bow. When they folded the jacket inside the box, a tag fell off, and Grandma tucked the tag inside her Bible. They put a note on the box that said, "To Bobby, from Santa." Grandma explained that this was a way of helping out Santa with his work, he likes to keep things top secret. And now she was officially one of Santa's secret helpers.
They drove over to where Bobby lived and parked a few houses down. They hid behind some bushes near the street.
Grandma told the girl, "Okay, coast's clear!" The girl ran over to the front porch and placed the present at the front door, rang the bell and ran back. Then they waited and watched as Bobby came out onto the porch and found the present with excitement and ran back inside.
As this girl got older, she said she'd never forget the feeling of that time when Bobby found his present from Santa. She thought of this as she looked at the tag that was inside Grandma's Bible with a price that read, "$19.95."
I may not have retold it as well as I found it, but the idea is Grandma taught her the true meaning of Christmas, the true meaning of giving, and the Christmas spirit. I hope this helps and gives you an idea of how to teach your daughter that, in a way that she can understand and enjoy Christmas even more. And don't forget St. Nick does watch over us, especially the children whom he's made toys for all his life.
2007-12-22 00:55:39 · answer #1 · answered by Fauna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's 9 years old, which is right at the age when most kids figure it out. If I were you, I'd let her enjoy Christmas morning (seeing as how it's so close), and then later on in the evening or the next day sit down with her and tell her the truth. She might be a little disappointed or even upset since she was "lied" to all this time, but she'll get over it and be fine. I would hate to be much older than 9 and still believe in Santa. If she's asking, she wants to know the truth.
2007-12-23 17:25:20 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would think 9 years old would be old enough to handle the truth - be sure and explain the real Christmas story and that Baby Jesus IS real and that's what we are really celebrating. You don't want her to be made fun of in school. If she is asking questions, she needs to be told the truth. Santa is just a magical feeling that we all get from being together at Christmas time and the love we feel for each other
2007-12-22 00:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ann M 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ho! Ho! Ho! Yes, Santa has time to get on the computer once in awhile. Excuse me while I take off my boots. There, that's better. Ahhhhhhhhh, it was a rough one today. Prancer had diarria really bad and Rudolph short circuited his nose. You think Santa gets a day off. Next Year I'm having the Easter Bunny take over Christmas and Me and Mrs. Clause are taking off to the South Pole. We're going on a cruise and letting someone else drive. Now, what's the question? Oh yeh, is Santa Clause really real? Hmmmmmmm, I've got to think about that for a minute. In my own opinion I would have to say YES, I am real. Wait a second and let me pinch myself, OUCH!! Yep, I'm real. Well, its about time to pack up and get ready for the flight. I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and an awesome New Year!! For all those that don't believe in me next year its the Easter Bunny delivering the goods.
2007-12-22 07:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by Blackhorse7274 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't tell her. Please. It's just going to ruin it. I was around that age when I found out. It just kinda ruined it for me, because there wasn't really anything to look forward to then. I'd say next year, when she turns 10. That would be the right time. When she reaches 11, she'll defienetly have found out, because I remember at school, it was babyish to think that Santa existed. So make this, or actually maybe next year her last year, if you are going through financial issues. So make it extra special. I mean even though I'm 13, (turning 14 in 2 weeks) I still get a little something from Santa. (or ho ho ho, as my mom calls it)lol. Like last year I got a metre of Toblerone and a gingerbread house! lol. I knew it was from her, but it was still kinda sweet. But don't etll her now, I found it more exciting when Santa existed, because then I couldn't get to sleep Christmas eve, because i was soo excited. I remeber waking up one night at 3 in the mornig, to find a gift at the end of my bed from him. I got so excited I woke up my parents an my brother to show them what Santa got me.
Good times..:)
Merry Christmas!
2007-12-22 01:31:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Santa Claus isn't a person, it's an idea. Santa is in all of us as long as we believe. When you give someone a gift, in a way you are being Santa Claus.
You have friends who don't understand that yet. Your gift to them could be to let them discover Santa on their own.
2007-12-22 00:37:15 · answer #6 · answered by Darklighter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop the lying and tell the truth, if she suspects it, compliment her for figuring it out. The magic is gone. Santa is not what is important about Christmas. You need to get her away from the material expectations of christmas, and look forward to it for the time spent together with family and the love the season brings.
2007-12-22 00:36:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mum had the same problem with my little brother.... he's just turned 10. If i were you i would say something along the lines of 'santa stops coming when ur a certain age [9] but mummy n daddy will still give you stocking presents' or something like that lol. or she might find out from someone else and be really upset that you didnt tell her yourself.
2007-12-22 00:32:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
my six year old nephew had the same issue some one at school told him there was no santa. he came home in tears. what we did was explain that the presents came from family because Santa could not carry that many presents in his sleigh anymore so he asked mommies and daddies to help him. but the stocking stuffers still came from Santa because they are easier to carry.
My nephew seemed to understand this and he still gets to believe santa is real.
2007-12-22 04:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by favorite_aunt24 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother always told me that Santa is the joy of giving in your heart. I agree with those that said it is an "idea" You need to find some way of getting that across to your daughter without shattering her imagination and free spirit that comes with being a child.
2007-12-22 04:41:59 · answer #10 · answered by Piparis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋