Do you think it is true that many people have to settle for what they can get as a partner?

Question

I mean, I may like someones personality a lot, but so may a lot of other people.

I might be attracted to the Queen of England, but obviously I am not on her standards.

so how do you think it works out?

have you ever been attracted to someone that you just have to say, okay, i accept that I am not up to par with that one, I like them, but i have to find me one that is more on my level ?

Anybody care to admit this fact about life, and explain it better , how it works??

how do you come to terms with it, etc?

Answer 1

Sometimes it isn't so much "settling" as it is you get used to each other. I speak as a 22-year veteran of such a relationship.

Answer 2

I think if you look on it as "settling" then you need to move on to someone else. They deserve better than being "second best".

I also think if you're setting unrealistic goals, you may want to ask why you're going for someone unattainable. For example, if you won't consider anyone EXCEPT the Queen of England, you're obviously not really looking for a relationship.

I don't believe you'll ever find someone who is PERFECT in every way. And if you do, you have to remember that people change over time...or should...it's part of the process of growing up and having experiences. So they may be PERFECT today, and in 5 years you're asking yourself what the heck you ever saw in them.

Personally, someone who makes me laugh..who cares about me..and is happy I care about them...and who keeps up with me intellectually...that wouldn't be settling for me. That would be amazing.

Answer 3

I thought the same thing and I settled, got married. Big mistake! Now I am getting a divorce. I know I deserve better. Better than spending the rest of my life on antidepressants just to stay in a marriage.

Answer 4

Ive had two long term relationshps in my life and both times ive felt they were better than me.

It's all about building up self esteem. The man im with now is a professor with degrees and doctorates.

When i first met him i was a girl in a regular job who was bought up on a council estate.

He wanted me for who i was as a person and it was only my self esteem that kept me there.

All be it now i have 3 degrees myself and am successful in my professional life but i'll never forget those years i spent feeling worthless compared to him.

Don't set boundaries. You are worth the best.

Answer 5

That's a good question , when people first meet they are attracted to each other and all is well I suppose in time they both stop trying or grow apart and they just live with that for the sake of not being on their own.
I am afraid that is not for me and it is surprising how many unhappy people there are just getting on with it.

Answer 6

No, I never settle. I'd rather be single for the rest of my life than go for someone I'm not attracted to.

Answer 7

You should never settle. EVER. That is one reason why there are alot of unhappy couples. I'd rather be single and happy then settle for less than what I want and be miserable.

Answer 8

It's true that there is always someone better, but it's the "can you get them?" that's the problem. So, yes to a certain limit. The limit being if your partner is abusive or unbearable to you.

Answer 9

some people probably do that. we aren't all emotionally healthy...the thing is, to try and not settle for second best. and to move on, if someone else rejects you...i try not to categorize people in terms of levels. i know it happens in the real world. i try anyway.

Answer 10

Think outside the box. Dont set limitations for yourself. You are the one that sets yr limitations noone else.