I wrote this poem, please read and comment but i believe if there is nothing nice to say please dont say it?

Question

Thanks :-)

“Angel of God”

Angel of God you are rare
Angel are you out there?
Angel do you care?
Angel I feel bare

Angel bring me to my feet
Make me stand
Make me fly
Make me soar above this sorrow
Angel that I want to meet

Angel of God you’re my friend
My protector till the end
I wish I could see you
I wish I didn’t need you
Angel we have heard on high

Angel help me to be strong
Give me guidance sent from God
Give me faith to build my spirit
Give me warmth to soothe my chills
Angel tell me I am loved

Angel take me with you
Take me high above the clouds
Take me to those golden gates
Take me to a place filled with love
Angel take me home to my fathers open arms

Angel are you listening?
Bring me to my feet
Make me stand
Make me fly
Make me soar above this sorrow
Angel that I want to meet

Hahaha im 18 lol and i no but i just write what i write by no means am i a poet lol i have written 5 poems on here so if you want to check them out go and look through my questions and you will find them lol haha.

Thanks :-)

Answer 1

how old are you? It's pretty good for a teen, if u are one. Just remember that in English rhyming poetry tends to sound a bit childish. You might also want to replace words like 'chills', 'place', gates and so one with much more emotive language. Check a thesarus. Remember a poem is 2 things, a work from your heart AND a work of art.

Answer 2

The thing about poetry is this: you need to decide what style you're going to use and stick with it. You say you're not a poet, but you write poetry...that's silly :) if you write poetry, you're a poet. You may not be a great poet, but you're a poet. Regarding your poem: you start out with a four line verse that has a single rhyme...a very difficult thing to pull off well, so it's not surprising that it sounds weak. You then switch to 5 and 6 line stanzas that are a mixture of rhyme and free verse...which keeps the poem off balance. Your lines also sound tired and echo tired lines used in movies, songs, and other poems...your poem should be "original", it should convey "your" thoughts in a new way. I know you weren't trying to write the next great american poem, but if you're going to write, try to do it well. The fact that you tried puts you head and shoulders above most who just read, so you're on the right track, just keep practicing...and remember, you "are" a poet if you write poetry :)

one last piece of advice: poets need to hear "all" feedback on their poems...not just "nice" comments, or they'll never get better at what they do...which is write poetry :)

keep writing

Answer 3

Reallly enjoyed. I felt some frustration and a little helplessness in the message. That's just me. But as long as there is potential for hope, I guess that's the bottom line in making through each day. Take care and thanks.

Answer 4

What can I say that I haven't before Ash? Beautiful words full of such meaning. You get me every day.

Answer 5

hello,
the poem was quite goodbut the poem has a note of frustation. you are sounding desperate. but thats my personal opinion about the content .your poem's definitely good.i liked it... cool.
keep writing

all the best
!!!merry xmas!!!

Answer 6

Not to be charitable or placate you, or offend your sensibilities, or set myself up as the poet police,,,"keep at it."

So often it's true, "Discretion is the better part of Valor."

Steven Wolf

Answer 7

Very nice =)
Perhaps just punctuate it a bit more.