My husband and I were having trouble in our marriage over the summer. He was very jealous that my daughter's father had come around and that we would hang out with our child. My husband got in touch with an old friend/ex on facebook and began to flirt and even tell her he would like to take her out on a date. When my husband and I reconciled he stopped talking to her. The minute we began arguing again she started to e-mail him. He said he would go visit her. Now keep in mind in the 6 years we have been together, there was no mention of this woman ever until now. Apparently they were friends before and stopped talking for 10 years. This end of frienship happened shortly after she slept with someone else when they were dating and she got pregnant. Now the hubby did go see her for 3 hours, half of that time spent in her apartment and the rest in a restaurant. this is putting a strain on our marriage and I really feel threatned by her. He hides all emails from her to apparently protect me
2007-12-21 19:13:10 · 11 answers · asked by disco_duckie2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer...suggest that she bring a date and the four of you go out together! His response should tell you a great deal.
If he agrees and she does also go with an open mind and don't get into the old 'my dad can beat up your dad' argument. You may learn that she is only someone who will listen to him when he feels he has no one else to turn to.
Let him know that he is everything you have ever wanted and his security in your marriage will strengthen. Ask him to imagine that he had a child by a former marriage and wanted to reconnect - he certainly would want the opportunity. Just because you recognize her dad's right to do so does not diminish your love and respect for your husband. Neither does it mean you have regrets about falling in love with him.
He is probably very threatened by the presence of your ex as anyone would be. Be patient and take the time to reassure him of your constant love.
God bless you.
2007-12-22 09:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by marshfield_meme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently when you were hanging out with your daughters father and he was "upset" about it, it made him uncomfortable. His feelings should have come first and they didn't. An ex is an ex and even if he was the father of your child, you shouldn't have been "hanging out" with him. You were not in a relationship with the ex. Being friendly with an ex is one thing, hanging out is another. This opened the door for him to do to you what you had done to him and it probably doesn't feel good. I think he was giving you a taste of your own medicine. At least that is what it sounds like. It must have hurt him bad. If you have reconciled and you are not hanging out with your ex, he should cease all contact with his ex now. He has made his point, but in the meantime, he may have become friendly with her again and hopefully he hasn't developed more feelings for her. That is why I think exes should be left in the past when it comes to new relationships. Best wishes!
2007-12-22 01:10:12 · answer #2 · answered by 2008girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be looking for someone to be on his side...as he may feel that your baby's daddy is an extra person on your side.
Childish? of course.
Then again, it may be that your relationship is truly in trouble and he is confiding in his x and possibly more.
I have a girl(friend) that is a real good friend and nothing has ever happened between us or will ever happen. Our relationship is more like brother/sister...yet my wife was always jealous when I talked to her and it got to the point where I cut off the relationship for the good of our marriage. I still resent it....but I also kind of understand. I had to make a choice, was my friendship with this other woman worth my marriage...NO.
I may sound whipped, but I assure you that is not the case...there is more to it. The girl and I would flirt some, and my wife came across an email where we were flirting. Sounds sick since I stated our relationship is more like brother and sister....but it truly was. But since we were not truly brother and sister, some flirting did happen. But both of us agreed that neither really wanted our relationship to become sexual...we were just good compatible friends. But I can not make my wife believe that, and I can understand why.
I would not believe it either if I was in her shoes.
Good luck with whatever happens.
2007-12-21 19:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by Robert C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your major problem is that your husband has a single friend you should count your blessings!!! Your husband is cheating maybe not with her but he is. If he hides anything from you he is cheating. You haven't learned the facts of life yet have you but you seem to be learning? Let me speed it up for you!!!
1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair
Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me if you want to
hear the truth. You can ask me anything. I don't lie unlike
the other answers you will get.
2007-12-22 02:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really feel for you, its a complex situation. It seems fine to catch up with an old friend/ex. It seems fine that he is telling you how the evening went. I guess you and your husband have to look at what is good for your marriage and what is not good for it. If you don't choose to act in ways that are good for the marriage beyond what is good for each of you, then you may have no marriage left. Close friends, who are not friends to both of you, may be lovely, but great care needs to be taken to manage that successfully.
Good luck.
2007-12-21 19:26:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay? If it is ok by the other spouse and nothing short of friendship is happening, then I guess so. In reality, however, it is usually a really, really, really bad idea. What you are describing here likely means one thing: he is running away from your marriage problems, and this could easily result in adultery. He is not protecting you from the emails. He is protecting himself from what you will find. Demand that the emails stop and get yourselves into a marriage counselor. It will be cheaper than the divorce you'll be paying for otherwise. I guarantee it.
2007-12-21 19:17:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
dear lady. the qualification to subject ones question into a viable answer on this matter is rather an inherent but less potent sanctifacation of ones defilement on the moral hiway, i would think, dear lady that if your husband was doing this, would you not find it revolting,or at least somewhat of betrayal? the anticipation, the sudden rush of all the pherenes being released in your body, giving a feeling of euphoria, that is until time has been giving its allotment,then you to kindred souls begin to analyze the given situation,being perspicuous as i think you are, i can only ask you a question, do you have a conscience?
2016-05-25 22:28:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say but my experience is that when someone gets jealous it's usually an indication that they are themselves cheating. So I think there's more to this story than what he's telling you. That's just my gut reaction. You know the situation better than me, but that's my take.
Best of luck to you.
2007-12-21 19:18:50 · answer #8 · answered by sweets 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think it's ok to be friends but not to go on ''dates" as such and hiding emails is a bit sus.
2007-12-21 19:24:03 · answer #9 · answered by gloria b 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would go find someone else and file for divorce , but that is me.
2007-12-21 19:16:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋