~For ten bucks a night
You can get wasted
For life,
That's not considering inflation
Which might make it
Somewhere around twenty
Unless the world turns
Moral in
Another prohibition --
In that case you'd do
Just as well a
Junkie!
2007-12-21 17:56:59 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Yeah, I thought it was crap too, then I started reading it and was quite surprised with the alliteration and meter which it seemed to have. Of course night ryhmes with life, inflation and prohibition, twenty with junkie. I'm always skeptical with anything I write when drinking large consumptions, but then I marvel, how sometimes it comes together. Also it had a bit a depth to it I didn't notice before. It's true, if alcohol became illegal imagine the price people would pay to get it. It would be worse then heroin in some cases with all the people consumed by alcohol today. Crime would be crazy. I mean, what made the mobs in the US. Prohibition! Bootleggin made the Kennedy's a rich family.
2007-12-21 18:09:41 · update #1
Go back to bed, it is crap.
2007-12-21 17:59:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your first impression was closer to the mark. The rhymes are soft/half rhymes and they are so far apart they are more or less unintentional rhymes. There is discontinuity throughout and although you may have had poetic insight, it doesn't come off as well as you could probably do while sober. Punctuation and line breaks are weak at best. My advice would be to either edit it extensively or put it aside as a reminder of how drinking affects your focus and continuity.
...but keep writing
2007-12-22 09:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes absolutley no sense to me...
You can get wasted for ten bucks, then twenty, inflation..junkie.
That's about all I got out of it, and reading it just makes me feel weird.
Hahah sorry, just my honest opinion.
Try writing while you aren't drunk, and you might discover a new talent !
Goodluck!
2007-12-22 02:01:36 · answer #3 · answered by tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what Ive heard many authors wrote thier best work while three sheets to the wind.
2007-12-22 02:02:16 · answer #4 · answered by willis34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.... scarey but yet interesting! haha
Merry Christmas :)
'good poem by the way'.. freaky that it was just written when you probally woke up with a hangover !!! aha
2007-12-22 02:00:56 · answer #5 · answered by Lovely. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice. Im all about drunk poetry that is the only time you can be true....my best stuff was written drunk and i like your work.
2007-12-22 02:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it! i think its amazing what comes outa your head when your drunk lol :) happy poem writting!
2007-12-22 02:18:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a good laugh haha
2007-12-22 02:00:45 · answer #8 · answered by Jack O' Lantern 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
babble
2007-12-22 02:00:54 · answer #9 · answered by knuteball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its confusing, probably cause you were drunk. lol
2007-12-22 02:00:21 · answer #10 · answered by jazmin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋