My ex girlfriend and i have spoken to day and after 5 weeks apart we are talking about getting back together maybe, In the 5 weeks she has made some new friends but they are all guys and i feel that one of them fancies her! She told me she doesn't know how any of them feel about her and that she doesn't like any of them anymore than as a friend. If we end up back together i know she is gana want to go out drinking and spending time at their flat with them, but i feel she doesn't want to include me in this. How should i deal with this sort of situation? i trust her but i don't know if i trus the guys as i don't know them!
Telling her she can't see them is not an option as she also works with them.
2007-12-21 16:22:10 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You do not have to trust the guys, you only have to trust her. She is a big girl and she can take care of herself. If they want more she will tell them that she does not.
2007-12-21 16:30:26 · answer #1 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you said that "I feel she doesn't want to include me in this". Have you even asked her about any of this before you jumped to this conclusion? Part of me feels as though this may have been the reason that you broke up. You can't control her and if you are feeling as though you are being left out of the loop, then maybe you need to voice that opinion and bring yourself into her circle, rather than to isolate her from it.
She appears to be a free spirit, you are more of an introvert. She socializes well. You don't need that constant interaction with people. The problem is that opposites attract and for the very reasons that you love her, it's also the very reasons you argue. But if you learn to compromise, you'll also learn to balance each other out too. Communication is the key hon. She can't read your mind any better than you can read hers, you need to talk to her. and be honest about how you feel and what your fears are.
I wish you luck!
2007-12-22 00:34:19 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to think about why you broke up before even thinking of getting back together...If you feel there is something there, then you two can give it a try again...Most females get along better with guys, i know i do, I'm not good with other females to much drama...So if you can deal with the guy friends, that's something else to consider...
2007-12-22 00:40:16 · answer #3 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she is sincere in her love for u, she would not have the need to be with the other men, and if she cannot also include u than i would think she were hiding something from me. when your with someone married or not, its a sense of oneness, where u no longer feel the need to run around with others, if u do your not in love with the person u have. until your able to see where this is going i would not take her back, because its just going to be heartache. if she is your girl than u can't allow her to go running around with other men because if shes with u she belongs to u, and if she has to go out in the first place she is hardly ready to settle down and make it the kind of life u deserve.
2007-12-22 00:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're making a lot of assumptions here. You assume he wants to be more than friends, you assume she won't want you along when she goes to visit, you assume that something may develop there. Why not talk to her? Tell her you're uncomfortable. Explain why.
If you two can't work this out then maybe its not really worthwhile continuing the relationship.
2007-12-22 00:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to deal with having her with them... then getting back together is not an option I would choose. It's hard to let someone go that you love.
2007-12-22 00:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Karen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you arent invited to join her when she visits these guys, she is hiding something. Maybe she isnt being honest with you , and herself. I would not go back with her if she cant include you when she joins her friends. Its just not right. No one that truely loved you and wanted an honest relationship
2007-12-22 00:33:13 · answer #7 · answered by purplewaterhorse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she doesn't want to include you in her activities then why would you get back "together" with her?
2007-12-22 00:28:56 · answer #8 · answered by Sidelines 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, first question is, what caused her to become an "ex" in the first place, and is this factor still in efffect?
2007-12-22 00:27:28 · answer #9 · answered by baystreet690 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let her have a life man, why would you want to smother her? Giver her some room, and she might come back to you.
2007-12-22 00:35:50 · answer #10 · answered by primalclaws1974 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋