Sex life needs help!?

Question

My sex life is getting boring. We've been together for almost 5 years and I'm getting to where I wish he would get his buisness done and get off of me. I've tried to talk to him about me being bored, but he thinks that everything is fine. I'm getting to the point where I'm wanting to cheat just for the excitment. Please if anyone has any ideas to spice it up or any way to get him to listen, please let me know. I'm in need of your help I don't want to cheat.

Answer 1

Try cheating with your partner. Not getting someone else in on the deal but write him a naughty note and play act a little. Get him to get dressed up in something you really like, a suit or tight t-shirt and jeans... something that you like on him. Get yourself dressed up so you feel really sexy. Get him to pick you up in a bar or organize a rendezvous at a motel.

Or depending on how close you are to your partner and how much you trust him, why not video tape a strip tease and sit him down to watch it while you get yourself hotted up in the bedroom with somethings that will turn you on. Make sure that you get the video afterwards and keep it somewhere safe - just in case!

Or ask him to play strip poker with you...a tease can be great fun of dragged out long enough.

Cheating will only end the relationship if and when your partner finds out and if that is ultimately what you want then it may be easier just to end it but if you wanna keep the relationship, try getting yourself in the mood and then going from there. Buy yourself some nice lingerie and perfume so you feel sexy. Do something nice for yourself and make yourself feel good.

If you need more ideas then you can always try the books "HOT SEX" by Tracey Cox or "The complete idiot's guide to amazing sex" by Sari Locker.

When things are predictable it is common for there to be yawn time and guys just aren't imaginative enough to come up with something that will tickle a young lass's fancy!

Good luck and have fun! :)

Answer 2

First of all, don't cheat. Just don't. You won't feel right about it and it doesn't honor the vows you took.

Having said that, a bad sex life isn't something that anyone should have to live with. If you guys are committed to each other and your marriage, get some counseling and figure out what the underlying problem is with your relationship. Since you didn't say that this has been a problem throughout your relationship, I'm guessing that this is a recent development. What's changed? Generally, other problems in the relationship (e.g. money, emotional issues, stress, etc.) express themselves in the bedroom when they aren't addressed elsewhere. The good news is that when those problems are exposed (always scary), worked on (always hard), and resolved together (always a good thing) your sex life will be better than ever.

If for whatever reason, you and he can't work out your problems, you might have to part ways. If that happens, you can heal, find someone with whom you can share a fulfilling sex life, and go from there. Until that happens though, cheating is out of the question. It is NEVER a cool thing to do and doesn't solve any problems; it just causes more.

Answer 3

sex life has a lot to do with every other aspect of the relationship, so trying new positions or "spicing things up" will only cover up the real issues that you guys might be having.

the excitement always comes from the unknown elements of a new partner, you can't really expect the same from your long term relationship. but what you can do is, maybe try tanrtic sex, or something non-sexual that deepens your relationship instead of seeking out a pure excitement because that is not the cure.

perhaps you being bored is a sign for you to either break up and move on, or move forward with the relationship, i.e., get married, start a family, etc., to discover a new form of satisfaction.

and you should also look at the bright side, you have a sex life! many don't.

Answer 4

As most have said here cheating isn't the answer. http://inkaboutit.homestead.com/affairs.html Many, but no not all, marriages have stale times when there is little or no interest in sex. It has become "Ho-Hum". Even if you do what some have said and buy some sexy lingerie it will only last a short while and you will be back where you are now.

There are alternatives. One of the most popular today is Non-monogamy. you and your spouse agree you and he can date or be with other people of the same or opposite sex. You can also agree if you or he can have sexual relations with these other people. Usually it is yes they may.
http://www.libchrist.com/poly/responon.html

There is also Polyamoury: http://www.libchrist.com/poly/women.html
http://www.libchrist.com/poly/manview.html
http://www.lovemore.com/

And out right swinging:
http://www.libchrist.com/poly/polyvsswing.html

If your read over the information I have provided as I answered your question you should have some good information. There is nothing wrong with any of them except the cheating part. With any of them except the first one on Affairs, you nor your spouse are cheating. You are both consensual and enjoying the freedom and the excitement of something new. But remember to love your spouse unconditionally at all times.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Cheating isn't the answer. If U want 2 spice up Ur sex life and he isn't listening, the U need 2 take control. Go 2 a adult store maybe U'll find something there 2 try. U know U don't have 2 B on bottom, next time try different foreplay, positions, talk dirty, do a striptease 4 him - just experiment that is how U can find what will work on him 2 get him more creative.

Answer 6

Do you climax when you have sex or is it a race to the finish for him or you and on to snooze control? Most women as studies show don't experience real orgasmic climaxes when having sex. This can be for several reasons. Try foreplay without touching the sex organs. Explore the passion of sexual contact and not just the lust. Oftentimes we focus on the sex organs and nothing else and that makes for a sexual chore rather than a sexual experience. If cheating were the answer then we would all be miserable as the cycle would repeat itself with every new partner. You dont need toys...those are for kids. If you cant get your business done without toys then you should have sex in a sandbox full of toys.

Answer 7

Think outside the bedroom. Next time you take a shower, wear just the towel around the house for a while. My wife wears just a Tshirt that comes to mid butt. (drives me crazy) cook breakfast in just panties on a day that he goes to work (or golfing, fishing, etc). He will think about that all day. On a day when he is home, do the same, then sit on his lap and feed him his breakfast. Snuggle up on the couch when he is watching something, then start unbuttoning something on you or on him. Have a naked video night where you both sit naked on the couch, popcorn and drinks, and watch something you like (doesn't have to be porn). Have naked breakfast on Saturday mornings the both of you clean the house naked (can't touch each other till the place is clean). Don't forget car sex. Scout out a place when you are alone, then one night when you are driving home, say, "Turn here." and guide him to the spot.. Pull out some battery powered candles for the dashboard. We had a book called "101 sexual positions" and a jar with pieces of paper numbered 1 to 101. We would pick a number and try that position. Have sex in every room, on, under, or beside every piece of furniture. Try sex on the stairs. After you have done a few of these, challenge him to come up with something. But most of all HAVE FUN!!!!

Answer 8

Romantic dinners aren't going to resolve your problem. Your boyfriend has no better than an average to low libido while you have a rather high libido. What's worse, at least from your standpoint, is if you fit the norm you haven't hit your peak as yet. Generally, guys hit the peak of their libido between the ages of 19 and 25 while you ladies hit yours between 28 and 35. Guys with a libido to match your own would be going gang busters at the age of 22. Whereas 22 year old guys who have already started a downhill slide will more than likely be down to 3 or 4 times a month by the time they're 30 - right at the time you're hitting your peak. By 40 their own interest will be almost non-existent - by 50 - zero. What's even more troublesome to me is that he's lost interest in being a good lover when he does get it on. Our libido, whether male or female, is somewhat like the color of our eyes - we were born with it. Yes, environment plays a part, but only a minor part. Our highs - lows and all shades in between were pretty much established at the moment of conception - and there really isn't a hell of a lot we can do about it - up or down. It's a classic example of we is who we is. But what he's doing is being selfish in the extreme - he isn't interested in pleasing you - only himself. That, my dear, is pure bull crap - period. Result? Well, if you were my daughter, I'd suggest you get rid of him yesterday. He not only doesn't have the libido to keep up with you - the gap is only going to increase. BUT selfishness will reveal itself in more ways and more places than just the bedroom. My guess is if you look back over the last few months you'll recognize selfishness raising its ugly head on more than one occasion. Sorry, but it's time to move on.

Answer 9

Why do you need to wait for him to spice things up? It is your sex life to. Take things into you own hands and start things that you want. Tell him what you like, try different things. Rent a motel room. Remember what it was like in the beginning and replay those moments. Don't cheat unless you really just want out!

Answer 10

Go for a holiday together to places he likes (let him choose) & get a romance and good sex (with him, not cheating).