My husband and I have been married for 18 years. I just found out (by his confession) that he has been sleeping with my cousin (who's 17 years younger than him). To make it even worse, he told me that they've been having an affair off and on for the past 12 years, since she was 19 years old. He's been screwing her for 3/4 of our marriage!!!!! He claims that he loves both of us, but that what he feels for her is like nothing he's ever felt in his life. He acted like she has some sort of control over him that he can't let go. He's told me that he doesn't want a divorce and wants to be there with me and raise our children together. He says he will stop all contact with my cousin (the skanky slut). I don't believe him. I want to divorce him as soon as possible. How can he expect me to stay with him after what he told me? Does he really believe he can leave her alone when she has so much "control" over him? What do you think? I think he's full of $hit!!!!
2007-12-21 14:57:17 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You don't even have to ask, if it was some kind of horrible mistake it would have been a one night thing, not twelve years. He decieved you and your children, and smiled in all of your faces all those years. Laid with you in bed at night (Hopefully, or was he in the cousin's bed? Had there not been signs before?) I'm sorry you gave so much to your life to him, but it's never too late to find happiness. Take your children (If you want) and find happiness in life together and eventually find a man who will treat you how you deserve to be treated.
2007-12-21 15:40:24 · answer #1 · answered by Vanity Affaire 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a jerk! He crossed a line he should have NEVER crossed, an affair in itself is bad enough but with one of YOUR family members is low.
DIVORCE him at once and DO take his lying cheating @SS to the cleaners. Take EVERYTHING you can, go after property, his retirement, spousal support, child support (if minor children are involved). Start tucking some cash away NOW but NOT in a bank account with your name on it, for legal reasons pertaining to a divorce. Maybe buy a fire proof box, hide it at a TRUSTED family or friends home (keep it locked & don't tell ANYONE what's in it), stash all the cash you can get away with in the box. Empty bank accounts and remove property you want to keep prior to a divorce filing, if ya have to, tell em you sold it to pay a bill or something if he asks.
Taking his @SS to the cleaners financially may teach him a valuable lesson, NOT TO CHEAT.
Good luck and I am sorry about any pain you may be experiencing and so close to the holidays too, what a JERK!!
2007-12-21 15:18:47 · answer #2 · answered by maryannmccarthy2003 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Agreed! This marriage is soooo over. However, you will stay with him if you really want to regardless. If you choose to however; you must accept the fact that he'll likely never stop seeing her and even if he does; you'll never believe him. So, unless you are not o.k. with allowing him to have an entire cake and eat it too, you need to get a divorce. Your cousin has no "control" over your husband. He just has not been formally forced to decide whether or not his marriage and your feelings, not being a father, is worth more to him than your cousin's coochie! Now that you know, you must act decisively.
2007-12-21 15:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by sexytaurus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are absolutely right. Their is no guarantee that he can just leave her and have nothing to do with her, since this has gone on so long. Also you couldn't trust him again. I think you are right in leaving, the sooner you do, the sooner you can get on the road of healing. I hope everything works out.
2007-12-21 16:35:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs. Duncan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is full of it. He has been lying to you for 3/4 of your marriage, I would not believe a word that he says. I would tell him to get out and stay out if it were me.
2007-12-21 16:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You marriage was over 14 years ago when the affair began.
2007-12-21 15:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by Haveitlookedat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, your question was "is my marriage over?" Answer - YES! It's been over since your husband started sleeping with your cousin, you just didn't know it yet! Get rid of the a^^hole!
2007-12-21 15:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
people always have a reason behind cheating, if you don't want your marriage to end i would try to find out how the affair started to begin with then you can understand what kind of hold she has on your husband and help him to break it.
2007-12-21 15:16:23 · answer #8 · answered by tamara 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he has been sleeping with her for that long it will be hard for him to stop , I am sorry to say but yes he is full of it .
2007-12-21 15:04:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say it was over a long time ago. Sorry about what you are going through.
2007-12-21 15:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by R 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋