i hate those phone calls, but i don't want to be too mean just funny, because eventually if it is funny enough they will laugh and have a better day
2007-12-21 14:43:09 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . "
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company. " You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?"
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
6. Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
9. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, and they can't sell to employees.
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
14. Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
15. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
17. Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .
And finally....
20. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
2007-12-21 14:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 3⤋
First thing you should do is get on the NO CALL list.
Of course you still have to deal with those looking for donations. Always tell them, can't afford to contribute. Then they bring the price down, tell them still can't afford it. I will not donate to any charity over the phone even if the tell me I'll receive info in the mail. Do own donations to a couple places that I know for sure that donation is being used for the right thing.
As for telemarketers, when they used to call, never felt obligated to go out of my way with kindness. Especially when they have tried to do a number on me. Were time when I needed to get rocks off and they were in for a real treat. Actually argues back and forth before hanging up on them or they hung up on me. Felt much better after that. Also did get them to laugh, because the whole thing was so ridicules I put on a show for them. They call 10 people at a time and first person who picks up......wll there you go.
Get yourself on NO CALLING list and you wouldn't have to be asking this questions. After you're on the "list" and they call, you can report them. Few companys have gotten stiff fines for stepping over the line. It's easy enough to hang the phone up before they have a chance to say boo. If there's a 1 second silence on other end, it's one of "those" people. Hang up. The End
2007-12-21 15:30:22 · answer #2 · answered by Eagles Fly 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I tell them "I'm not here." Seriously.
*the longer you talk to them (two sentences are enough) the higher the likelihood you will get "slammed" with a product or service you didn't order. Sometimes merely answering the phone constitutes an agreement to these people. Also make sure you constantly register at donotcall.gov, it won't eliminate all calls but most of them. If one calls me that has NO affiliation with any service I currently have, I report them on donotcall.gov. After so many of these reports, they are going to be fined. You would be amazed at how FEW telemarketing calls I get. Maybe three a week at the most.
2007-12-21 14:51:18 · answer #3 · answered by Smooch The Pooch 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
"Oh, here's the person you really want to talk to..." and then give the phone to your 5 year old. (or smart-mouthed teenager!)
"Just a moment, please" then set the phone down by the faucet that's running water.
Start crying. Works every time, specially with male telemarketers. They simply don't know what to do with a crying woman.
"Oh, I was HOPING you'd call! Let me tell you what I dreamed last night!! I had the *worst* nightmare......" and elaborate. The telemarketer will hang up in 10 seconds.
2007-12-21 14:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
say "hello,
2007-12-21 15:37:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
just say"thank you for the offer, but I do not think that I am interested this moment, thank you, and I hope that you have a lovely evening", and then hang up. It is not like telemarketers, get up everyday, and say "gee, lets go call a bunch a people, just so that I can be disrespected by most of them!" Listen, they need to make a living too, at least they are not sitting on their couches eating potato chips sucking up our tax dollars. They are people too, just trying to do their job.
2007-12-21 14:50:00 · answer #6 · answered by gnomie 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
They love people like you who are actually concerned about being mean. Like the first person said above, just hang up. If you give them the time of day, they'll take it and keep calling.
2007-12-21 15:29:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I tell them the truth, that I'm disabled and I wouldn't be using anything they would be trying to sell me no matter what the pitch, so they should try to sell it to the next person on their list. I say that they should know that right at the start so they don't waste their time on trying to make a sale with me. Then I say sorry and thank them.
2007-12-21 14:48:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
My stepmom used to set the phone next to her on the table if we were eating when they called, let them listen in on our dinner conversation. Now that I'm older and have 2 toddlers, I give the phone to them and let them talk. Always makes me smile even if the telemarketers aren't.....
2007-12-21 14:47:15 · answer #9 · answered by Jamie 2 · 5⤊ 3⤋
I know what you mean.
You don't want them to want to go kill themselves, but you want your conversation something they will remember.
Telemarketer: Hi is Mr. Bob there?
You: On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
and repeat song until they hang up.
It's funny and memorable, but not mean at all.
:)
2007-12-21 14:48:10 · answer #10 · answered by emilyjo 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋