We've been together for almost 2 years. I have the feeling some times that he will propose soon. He will travel this Christmas to my country to meet my mom.
I adore this man and he has been faithful and devoted to me. However he has the annoying habit to look at pretty girls, especially when he is with his male buddies. Last August I broke up with him because he was frecuently looking at porn, so I thought he was an addict, but he assured me he did not really need to look at porn and promissed to give it up completely (his idea, I didn't ask) and so far I think he has kept his word.
Sometimes he turns his head to see a pretty woman and that makes me feel insecure.
Perhaps I am being paranoid? I know I have some trusting issues.
I told him recently that I feel disrespected and unconfortable when he checks out other women and he said that it is a reflex, and that he does not mean to hurt me, but because it bothers me he will control himself.
2007-12-21 14:36:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
During a relationship you hope to build trust with yhe person you are with, knowing in your heart that he will be faithful, but its your head that makes you second guess! Especially if you are a woman. Its hard to see someone you love checking out a hot girl that happens to walk by you while you shop or just dwn the street, but Its just there instincts. Men have checked out women for decades and nothing has changed. I have had experience on both sides of the situation. There has beel times that i would be walking with my boyfriend and catch him glance at a pretty girl walking past. Does it make me mad? Hell yes, but then I remember he loves me! hes coming home with me! I have also been out with my man and have guys glance at me and check me out as I walk by while there girlfriends give me evil looks. I do think its disrespectful for a guy to checxk another girl out while his girl is standing right there. I know if you think about it there probably has been times that you have been some where and caught yourself checking a guy out. It happens to us all as humanbeings its in our nature. When you see something pretty whether it be christmas lights on a house or a cute guy or girl walking your going to look. So if i where you i wouldnt take offence but i would give him a taster of his own medicine and the next time you are out check out a few guys and make sure he sees you! Maybe if he gets jealous he will see how you feel.
2007-12-21 14:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by 2 fine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one men are Visual and will always look. He has done it his whole life since his early teens. It is a man's prerogative to look. It is his choice to cheat. If you feel you cannot trust him then do not marry him. If he tries not to look at women when he is around you. Then he still will when you are not around. If you have a stable and strong relationship then it should not matter. I can look at another female and and it means nothing to my partner. I can look at porn and my partner does not care. She knows I love her and me being a human male is not disrespectful. Your insecurities are the issue. Respecting your partner is important but respect is earned not given. If he repects you he will not cheat ever. Looking at porn is his business as long as it is not an obsession. Think if he got mad at you for reading a romance novel. When men look at another girl walking by its like you talking about a celebrity you think is hot. You need to know yourself and realize that men do things that all men do. Just like women do things that all women do. All I can say is if you keep on him about it he will learn to do it without you noticing. The insecurity is where you feel you may not look good enough for him and maybe he wants more. If he is with you and may propose then do not worry. If he walks away to speak to a female or to run downstairs to porn when you are talking then there is an issue.
2007-12-21 15:03:49 · answer #2 · answered by gtx765 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, be thankful. I was married to this little womanizing, short, freak of a man that thought with his little ding ding, rather than with his brain. I have seen him walk into store glass windows looking at women, I have seen him almost fall off the side walks looking. I hated him, so I wouldn't say anything when I saw him heading for trouble. And when the little leprechaun wanna be pimp hit the window or fall off the curb I would laugh so loud, that it would make him want to hide. If he look that hard, he'll go much further. If you keep giving him things not to do, it will make him want to do it even more.
2007-12-21 15:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like some of these people said i think the same. any man no matter how loyal they are, are going to notice a pretty woman i mean we as girls do it not because we like girls but who doesn't notice a pretty woman. this to me means that your boyfriend is only human. i would be worried if he didn't notice a pretty woman. and the porn thing is not bad alot of men just have fantasy. maybe he doesn't want to tell you his fantasy because you will think bad that's why he watched porn. but in the end it all comes down to how much both of you love each other. chances are that the girl he may have noticed he will only see once in his life and it was at tat moment. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-12-21 14:59:44 · answer #4 · answered by *Krys* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and I have been happily together for a long time, and he does not check out other women intentionally, or barely at all. Attractive people are all over. In a society where sex sells and there are attractive people all over t.v., and ads,you cant avoid it. Men will look at girls and not even realize it. Everyone does it. However, if he every does anything you should leave him. But dont worry. If you are meant to be then you will be. And you learn from relationships. Good luck.
2007-12-21 15:04:53 · answer #5 · answered by HotMomma9907 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The key word is faith. Sounds like you have a Latin guy or a race in the romantic countries. It is a habit. Most guys from France, Italy, Spain etc tends to ogle women. As far as porn is concerned, if your not putting out, can't he release some tension?
2007-12-21 14:49:58 · answer #6 · answered by T-Max 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men perv, that's whatever so that it will on no account difference. With the porn factor? good yeah so much men have porn - it is their get away right into a delusion land. It does not imply he does not believe any much less of you - so long as he continues the porn to himself and does not drive you to observe it with him. I understand that ladies get grew to become on through studying erotic reports, good, men get grew to become on through looking porn. If you do the whole lot sexual to him that he likes and take the initiative to spice matters up and be ingenious within the bed room then he do not need a rationale to cheat but when you're not often having intercourse he's going to get it from anybody else.
2016-09-05 10:27:57 · answer #7 · answered by hemmings 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all look at "pretty girls"
You know this is a fact because you see the other guys checking you out!
But what you don't realize yet is basically, everything in your life eventually comes down to faith.
Merry Christmas
2007-12-21 14:43:11 · answer #8 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there's one thing life has taught me...all of the guys I have ever been involved with/married to cheated.
Will your guy cheat?...when you're old and both of you are on your deathbed, you'll have your absolute answer...maybe.
Your guy sounds like an understanding and faithful guy. It also sounds like he's very caring and loyal. It doesn't sound like he's ever given you reason to believe he's unfaithful. Count your many blessings.
2007-12-21 14:47:16 · answer #9 · answered by rabbit4041 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will never really know. You just live in the here and now and worry about it if it were to happen. I have the same feelings all the time.
2007-12-21 15:21:31 · answer #10 · answered by Felicia *Proud Mommy Of 2* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋