Why is it?

Question

Why is it that I can give advice and get best answers but I just can't answer my own problems. I'm always so conflicted about everything, just confused, lost, and don't know what my next move should be on anything?

Answer 1

Totally normal. I am the same way, and I have taken classes on salef-awareness where all of my classmates say the same thing.

I have no idea what is real, but my opinion is twofold.

1. It is easy to have pserpective on other people's problems, and we can use that persepctive to see the problem as a simple one with clear-cut answers.

2. If the choices and directions were clearly going to result in a win, we would take them. The reality seems to me to be that there are things to be gained by doing things one way and there are benefits of doing them a different way. The choice between giving up something and getting something are tough choices to make.

It is never easy. Life is not easy. At least know that you are not alone - everyone else is like you. Not all of them will admit it, so give yourself some points for being real.

Answer 2

Hey!

You only click on the things you understand. If you didn't know the answer, you wouldn't have bothered giving any advice.

Besides, fixing other people's problems is always easy. It's all in perspective. When you're on the outside looking in, you see things completely different, then the person inside looking out.

So, it's just a role reversal. When you answer a question, your perspective is the person on the outside looking in. When you're the one asking the questions, your perspective is the person on the inside looking out. Those two perspectives are just so different, you can't compare them.

As to your feelings of confusion, what are you looking for? Meaning to your life? Or something else?

Stop stressing. Sometimes the answers to your questions will come to you if you stop worrying the problem to death.

Stop looking in all the wrong places. Look inside your heart. What do you want to do next? Do you want to help other people, help yourself, or continue on in the path you've already laid out in front of you?

Also, look into getting some resolve. Find something you can do in your life where you feel no conflict. Something that comes easily to you, and you are 100% sure of yourself in.

And try to build up confidence. Believe you can make the right decision, but still use your logic to try to reach it.

I hope that is advice you find helpful. And I hope you find the answers you are looking for soon.

P.S. I agree with Gee. If you are emotionally involved with a problem, it complicates things. Clear-cut logic is SOOOO much simpler than emotion. But emotion is important. So, what can you do? Look at things from an un-emotional standpoint (a.k.a. from the outside looking in), AND look at them from your own personal, and very emotional, way. Mix the two together, and come up with a sort of compromise that makes them both work (if you can).

Answer 3

Outside perspective or in other worlds, emotional disattachment. Judging someone elses problems etc, is not like solving your own dilemmas, you are not tainted by your feelings or baggage.

Ex: You have a friend whose boyfriend is beating you, as a friend you would surely reason that she should leave him, because you have all the information, but none of the emotions.
But say, it is you in the situation, how hard would it be to leave that situation? Since you are the one that loves the man, you feel that he might change, or you feel guilty, and thus you can not really make your decisions. All because of your emotions.

Answer 4

This is exactly the thing that I try to communicate to people when I give answers here.

I believe the reason that it is easier to give advice to others, yet struggle with our own problems, is because we are not emotionally attached to the situation when dealing with others issues. Emotional involvement makes it more difficult to rationally assess our situations. Wisdom is, for the most part, the mechanism that restrains our emotional selves and allows us to more objectively address our own issues.

Answer 5

Sometimes we ourselves can't see the answers to our own problems. That's why it's so helpful and sometimes very necessary to gain the feedback from other people who may see what we're missing. ^^ That's probably why we can help others more readily than ourselves because it's so much easier to see the conflict in other people's problems.

Answer 6

Yeah it is easy to find others mistake... But we must correct ourself first... no one is perfect in this world.. Like Jesus Christ said... I have one suggestion to find answer to own problem... That is meditate.. Do meditation to solve own problem... Find few minutes a day to do meditation... sit quietly... You will feel more relax than ever before... and certainly you can find answer to your problem... It is really easy but only few practice it... Do meditation and see the difference...

Answer 7

Could it be you are a helper? By that I mean you put others first. You think you are able to control your every move, but cannot. When it comes to others you have simple direct answers.

Answer 8

trying taking some of your own advice. everything that you see in others is just a reflection of yourself.

all the wisdom you have dispensed can be applied to your own life

Answer 9

Sometimes another perspective helps, i have the same problem and complications. If some one came to me with the same questions i have, i could answer them, but because they're mine, they're impossible. keep asking questions and don't be afraid to ask for help.

Answer 10

It is easy to see the mistakes that others are making, but our eyes are pointed in the wrong direction to see our own.

Sounds silly but it's true.

love and blessings Don