It's a problem for me, and I don't think it's healthy. How to stop masturbating?

Question

I want to stop masturbating. And I need advice from people who share my opinion (those who believe that there are more negative aspects to the practice than positive aspects).

I know that it is a release and that it feels good, but I find it kind of annoying that I waste my time doing something that makes me feel empty inside. Though it feels good when I climax, reality tends to hit me in the face later on, filling me with guilt and shame. I can lie to myself, denying these ugly feelings. However, I could be doing much better things in life than watching porn and masterbating. You know, people are meant to live for so much more.

I don't want someone out there to tell me that it's healthy or to give me reasons or excuses that justify their masturbating habits. I believe it's unhealthy and no one can change that.

I will only read answers that will help me STOP. I'm an 18-year-old girl. Advice from a girl would be helpful, but I appreciate assistance from everyone.

Answer 1

Well, you could just start having sex with boys...or girls...

Answer 2

Masturbating makes you feel empty, guilty, and shameful because your moral compass tells you you're replacing something that would normally be part of a committed relationship with self-gratification.
Like any bad habit, you choose to enforce the habit with repetition. It's like smoking, biting your nails and swearing; the more you do it, the deeper ingrained it becomes and the harder to break.

How do you break a bad habit? Start enforcing the behavior you *want* to happen and stop doing the bad activity. Stop watching porn. This is cold turkey... just don't do it anymore. Throw out any porn videos you own. Don't rent anymore. Get an accountability partner who'll check the websites you've logged onto and who you trust to keep your secrets. Maybe you know someone from church? Have them use the parental blocking software on your computer to block you from porn sites until you develop self-control.

Whenever you feel you just HAVE to watch porn or masturbate, get up and go to the gym, or run, or read a book, bake, dance, ... anything else. Reward yourself each time you triumph. The more you triumph, the easier it becomes.



.

Answer 3

Hm, do you have a boyfriend. Maybe, if you went & did more things - you could forget it. I don't really know what your life is like. But try being more social. & if you don't have a boyfriend - try and see if you can meet new people. I'm a girl, and well I sort of kinda know a little about that area. Sex is an addiction. Nothing really causes it. & masturbating is the same. It's like drugs, you know? They're bad, but they make you feel WOW & you just want some more and eventually it gets to the point where you need it. I guess, next time you have the urge - stop yourself. Think of how you will feel afterwards - guilty. Shameful. & how you want to stop. Avoid any type of porn.

Answer 4

Now, this is coming from a man, that at one point in his life he had a similar problem. If you read the bible, you will see that masturbation is a sin. It is something you are not supposed to do in God's eyes. It is not going to hurt you and it will be allowed by God once in a while, but it is still a sin and you will be forgiven for it. You need to find something else to occupy your time. Throw away the porn and refuse to allow yourself to do it. It won't be easy, because of the enjoyment of the climax feelings, but it is something you need to do for yourself. Have you concidered starting to go to church? Maybe God can help you.

Answer 5

Stuck in the cycle huh? Some counselors see this as an addiction. Even though I do not believe you to be addicted, the simple fact that you have decided that you ARE going to stop leaves me with the option to handle this as if you were addicted.
I hope that makes sense.

Study addiction. Removing the temptation, have an action to participate in when you feel the "urge." Know the factors that lead up to you masturbating, and try and eliminate them as much as possible. The GOOD thing here is that you are not physically doing harm to yourself, so if you give in ---you don't have to feel guilty. Remember that you are slowly putting an end to something.....so it won't happen overnight. There are going to be times that you give in.
If you spend a lot of time on the computer, the risk is always going to be there. Get on, do your work, get off (no pun intended). The longer you spend on the computer, watching cable TV, etc, the more the risk.
Stuff like that.

I feel that the biggest worry here is that you feel that you have "lost control" of something concerning your own body. If you want my personal advice, and not professional---then set a goal. Say anywhere from 30-90 days. "Cleanse" yourself, and prove to yourself that you DO have control of your sex drive. Then it will be ok to "allow" yourself to enjoy exploring yourself again. This can be done as often as you want. Remember, it doesn't have to be about stopping----only moderation. But, that's my personal view.

Answer 6

Well here's an Idea...keep a friend girl or guy (opposite of your sexual preference) that you can stand and try to hang out with them, You can't masturbate if your with somebody...and you do and its with a girl their...well give me a call I 'll be right over =-D also burn/delete any porn you have just take your time smash it click once every now and then, have a porn-o-palooza and then delete it, you're farewell to porn/masturbating is what you could call it what ever I don't really care though if you ask for help on quiting masturbating then you should really consider a theoropist...seriously and also the only reason I answered this slightly seriously is to stop myself from laughing at the sheer idiocracy of the question.

Answer 7

It will take a lot of will power.

Like, I have challenged myself before to not masturbate for a full 3 months, and it was hard. But after the first week, it got easier.

Now I am sadly back to my old habits, but I have decided to make a new years resolution to not masturbate, for the rest of my life if possible.
Perhaps find something else to do, or find work that will fill up your time. Something to distract you from sex.

(I'm 17 (almost 18) and male, so I don't know if it can help you at all.)

Good luck! :)

Answer 8

Talk to your doctor. Some meds can lower the sex drive if it is a problem for you. On a deeper level, I think it would be worth exploring why you feel guilty about something like masturbating. Your natural sex drive may be a nuisance to you if you dont have a mate, but it is not a crime to masturbate as far as I know.It is certainly far,far better than being promiscuous. It is a good thing to have a decent mate, a fulfilling relationship and a good sex life..perhaps that is what you are craving. I still think masturbating would be better than ruining your life and health with the wrong person or people. Since it is so distracting to you, I would ask about meds. Just read the fine print and be aware what you are putting in your body with them, too! Be safe and sane. Personally, I like Rachel J's answer ( above ).

Answer 9

It takes about two weeks to break a habit. Get rid of the porn in your house. Find something else to do when you feel the urge. Take the dog for a walk, call a girlfriend, play a board game with your little brother. Find a way to be physically active as an outlet. And stop feeling so guilty. Just act in a way that you can be proud of yourself, and consider yourself worthy enough to accomplish what ever you want.

Answer 10

I don't want someone out there to tell me that it's healthy or to give me reasons or excuses that justify their masturbating habits. I believe it's unhealthy and no one can change that.

-Your right! no one can change that, so why did you ask the question then? It is normal, healthy, and everyone does it. Why you feel guilty when you do it, is another story though. As for excuses, you only need excuses when people are wrong in what they do, masturbation isn't wrong, so why would I give excuses to do it?
If you truly dont want to do it, stop. or go seek help, a doctor, parents, someone you can trust.
I am overwhelmed with sorrow for you, but i hope you are happy, thats what matters here. Good luck.

Answer 11

I am sorry to hear that you don't feel it is healthy. I'm not sure how to stop having the urges, but I can tell you the longer you go without masterbating, the less urges you have. Like any addiction, try to fill the time you would be masterbating with another activity. When you feel the urge come on pick something you will do instead. Crochet, read a book, crossword, call a friend... something to distract through the urge.