I've known her a little over a year. My first impression of her when I met her was well good. She seemed nice even though she wore very black makeup. Some people thought she was gothic or emo any of that sick stuff but I wasn't going to judge her because she was very nice to me.
Anyhow, that was a year ago. She recently started hanging out with my friends and they've becaome best friends now. As I hung out with her more I noticed she always said things like she hated life and wished she wasn't born (she was adopted) and that she hated her parents and things like that...
I thought it was just typical teen stuff (she's almost fourteen, she failed a grade) so I didn't say anything about it. That is until I saw her myspace background. To say the least is was disturbing and very violent and that wasn't the first time I saw something like that from her. My mom thinks she's disturbed and thinks I should stop hanging out with her...what should I do?
2007-12-21 13:57:16 · 26 answers · asked by Love.to.Laugh 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Who said I was going to ditch her?! I said my parents think I should but I don't plan on ditching her.
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2007-12-21 14:07:54 · update #1
okay.
i have very very personal experience with this.
you can not "fix" her, she wont change, definately not over night.
but, only listen to your mom if you think that she is correct in why she says this, it sounds like she is though.
2007-12-21 14:00:41 · answer #1 · answered by angelikrokr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok. So she is disturbed....she needs friends with a good positive influence. You and your friends being nice to her is probably the best thing for her. It is somewhat typical for a 14 year old to "hate" their life and their parents. People at that age are looking for themselves and seeing reactions, which will in turn give her a positive or negative perspective toward her actions. You should explain to your mom that you think she needs you and your friends. Dont turn your back on her.
2007-12-21 14:03:28 · answer #2 · answered by LD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's first state there's nothing wrong with being goth or emo. It's self expression and that's healthy.
If you are indeed worried about your friend. Confront her in a positive way. Ask her if she means the things she say's....why such a violent backround on myspace? *although myspace also is a form of self expression, it might be an undertone of something more* And if you think she's going to hurt herself or someone else...tell someone you can trust and get her help.
2007-12-21 14:01:12 · answer #3 · answered by Dancing in Misery 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well right now shes probably going through a very rough time. A good friend will try to see her through it, but a smart friend knows when its gone to far. Which are you? You can be both but you'll have to find a level medium. Im sure that if you try to explain your concern to your mom she would try to understand that all you wanna do is befriend a lonley girl and make her life a lil better.
2007-12-21 14:04:18 · answer #4 · answered by Steph 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes probably doing all this for attention. Must truly disturbed people would keep in person in a diary - not broadcast it by using myspace or caking themselves in makeup.
I don't think she is a threat. Just don't take everything she says literally.
Of course another theory is the girl is depressed. Whether you choose to ignore it is up to you or not.
2007-12-21 14:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by John D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you shouldn't just ditch someone because of them being "disturbed". Personally I think that'd have a negative effect on the person because they got dumped for what they are currently. You should help her get over w/e it is that disturbs her (if you can) and make sure she doesn't influence you too much.
2007-12-21 14:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by •°•°Ⓒertain Ⓢlant Of Ⓛight•°•° 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to her about it. Ask her what may be bothering her. From what you said, the last thing she needs right now is to lose a friend. Depending on her answer, you should limit the amount of time you spend with her. However, do not cut her off completely.
Hope that helps!
God bless :)
2007-12-21 14:01:24 · answer #7 · answered by emilyjo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i don't think you should ditch her cause then that will make her even more hurt and mad at the world. So i think instead of ditching her you should go and do fun things with her and make her happy. just do fun stuff and keep her mind off her parents cause i think she is mad about being adopted and takes it out on herself.
2007-12-21 14:20:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her, and tell her that she can talk to you. I have a friend who has hard times with her parents and her sister, but I tell her that she can trust me and that if she needs anything.
However you should back away just a little so that she doesn't bring you down as well.
2007-12-21 14:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, you need to stick with them through the tough times, help her out and give her someone to go to who she can confide in. Don't piss her off or do anything you might regret, most of the time they can get violent or dramatic. Right now, she probably needs a little guidance so help her out.
2007-12-21 14:01:59 · answer #10 · answered by frogchik 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound has if she is very disturbed person to me and I feel for her. The problem is that she see's everyone else has having the problem though! If you do not feel comfortable around her any longer, then maybe it is best you go another direction, and just hope for the best for her! Good Luck!
2007-12-21 14:01:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋