My partner was on drugs when he was 17(meth, weed, pills, crack, you name it he tried it). He went to jail 3 or 4 ys ago. I'm really not sure because it's not something that he is proud of & doesn't like to talk about it, but from what I have heard from his family it had something to do w/ drugs. When I met him he was clean & had been since he had gotten out of jail- which was 2 yrs before we met. We moved 3 1/2 hrs from home 6 months ago up to that point we had not been living together. It was a big surprise to me that he was an alcholic. At 1st it was all ok but then he started to become mean- never phisical only verbal After I found out I was pregnant 4 1/2 months ago we moved back home after moving back home I noticed that he was acting strange. After 2 months of his strange behavior he was arrested, he had gotten back on drugs. After he got out he was doing really good- no drugs, or even alchol. That only lasted a few wks then he was back to drugs & alcohol. I tried to leave when
2007-12-21 13:23:09 · 9 answers · asked by Lulu 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he came home messed up (I was scared for my safety that is why I wanted to leave). When I started to pack our verbal argument got phiscal. I left the house & went to the police. I filed a restraining order. We didn't talk for a wk after the restraining order was filed. My family & I both thought that it might have been good that my partner & I start to talk again (since I'm preganant, thought maybe we could work something out even if it was just a friednship). So we started to talk about 2 wks ago & everything was going good. We even decided to get back together, we weren't living together, just talking & going out to diner, things like that. Last night he came to our house(I'm staying in he is not cause of the restraing order) When he came over I knew that he was messed up on drugs & he had been drinking so I asked him to leave. He would not leave so he started to bang & kick on the door I opened the door & left & called the police. When the police got to our house he wouldn't open
2007-12-21 13:30:45 · update #1
the door. It took 6 cops to get him out of our house. He is now back in jail. He is going to spend Christmas & News Yrs. in jail. We will have a court date after the 1st of the yr. I believe that he will be going to jail for a long time. I don't want him to go back to jail(it does him no good I have recently found out he has been in & out several times) What would be some other options? I love him w/ everything but I can't be with him while he is on drugs, & drinking he makes me feel for my saftey & that of our unborn child. I know that I'm going to have a lot of say in what happens but I have to know some options that I could give the judge so the judge doesn't just send him to jail.
2007-12-21 13:35:36 · update #2
Intervention?
2007-12-21 13:32:35 · answer #1 · answered by SweetGGirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You love him, it hurts, he's half sweet and half acid - Sweetie, if you love that child you are carrying, and if you have any self respect, Leave Him! Stay Away from him! Do not look back!
It is easy for me to say ... I was in high school and had a boyfriend that would try to hit me. Difference is I hit back - and I let him know straight up, he ever hit me, not just play, but really hit me, he better pray to God he can outrun me because I'll kill him. We didn't last very long.
You've been with this man and let him get away with crap for too long to put your foot down now. The best thing to do is leave - and make sure you get his @$$ thrown in jail before you do so he can't come looking for you. And don't contact him about anything - do you really want him to treat that baby of yours the same way he's treating you? Do you want that kind of life for you and the baby?
My advice - leave and don't look back.
Best Wishes.
2007-12-21 21:46:59 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Ariana 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to think about the safety of yourself and your baby. He put himself in this situation, therefore nothing is your fault. It may serve him good to be in jail for awhile. You do not need to let him enter your life or your baby's life without him doing some intervention, rehab, or therapy treatment. So you need to forget about a relationship. Because you are expecting a baby with him, it can make things a whole lot more difficult. So move on, and let him get himself together and you get yourself together for you and your baby. You will be fine, just keep focused.
2007-12-21 22:14:44 · answer #3 · answered by MadameJazzy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if the judge listen to you. The state probably have picked up the charges now and they will do what they see fit to do with him. If he is not ready to stop, then he never will. Jail time, might save his life. Getting high and having a temper could cause someone to hurt him. He really need help and maybe you can ask the judge to order him to rehab. I guess.
2007-12-21 21:47:25 · answer #4 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is an addict - no ifs, ands, or buts - and if he wants to be in control he has to have no alcohol or drugs, otherwise it's the drugs and alcohol in charge.
If he's willing to get help with his addictions, and willing to not touch them again EVER, he might be worth another try, but only after he's getting the help.
If he refuses, then you will know that he puts his addiction above everything else - you, your relationship, your child, his health - EVERYTHING! If he chooses this leave him - his lover is the drugs.
You must protect yourself and that baby, and stay away from him. Nothing you can do will change him, unless he wants it for himself.
2007-12-21 21:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's the cause of his own problems. Let him save himself because no one can do this for him.
2007-12-21 21:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
like put the child up for adoption and go on with your life.
2007-12-21 21:36:14 · answer #7 · answered by eld13 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
How about therapy?
2007-12-21 21:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abortion ?
2007-12-21 21:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋