Divorce problem...serious answers please thank you for reading?

Question

ok this is going to be kind of long, but thanks for checking
my mom has been married to my stepdad for over 15 years, always there for him, when he had cancer, heartattack, and recently he just collapsed and my mom was always there for him taking care of him

he is a highly irresposnible person, who's never taken care of any of his kids, extremely messy and very selfish.

he has a brother who is recently divorced b/c he cheated on his wife of 20+ years, paid a big settlement and now lives in an apt and eats microwavable food.

so this brother is influencing my stepdad, telling him how myself and my mom aren't taking good care of him, and my step dad has been refinancing the house (which the money my mom never got, he spend on useless things such as a collection of light hosues, a collection of lionel trains), but he refuses to pay for utility when he is the one demanding to have heater on 24/7, he refuses to help out

he wants my mom to take care of him allt he time, but he wont

he wont let her work, and he is all "well you should have enough savings to pay for all the bills and take care of me"

which really bugs me

ok dont get me wrong, my mom isn't a whimp, she is just really sweet and only thinks the best of things and best in people

i am in the process of getting a good steady job, so i am not worried and i know i can and will take good care of my mom no matter what

but what i am worried is that my stepdad's loser brother wants to get my stepdad to divorce my mom and leave her with nothing but debts LOL

oh yeah did i mention that my stepdad is not the kind who would appreciate all the things my mom's been doing

just last night, he told my mom that she should be more independent (and whenever she does, like start her own business, he complains and says that she doesn't care about him anymore and doesn't do anything to keep the marriage together)

so what my concern is, if they were to get a divorce, is there a way she can get the maximum things to he

i konw this sounds really mean

but i want the best for my mom, and does anyone have any advices on how she can get most out of this marriage?

she is so sweet, and i would hate to see my stepdad taking advantages of her sweetness and leave her nothing, and i konw she wont complain b/c she knows i will take care of her, buti just dont think it's fair that a man always depended on her, and yet, never showed appreciation

any advices would be appreciated
thanks

Answer 1

Tell your mom for me to get a damn good lawyer, wow how messed up is your family life?? Your mom can email me ,..I just went through a divorce after 31 years, I live in IL. rules change from state to state, but if I can answer any questions I'd love to help.

Answer 2

First of all you Mom should want a divorce which I didn't see in your question -I did see that you wanted it and I don't blame you-sounds like an awful situation-she should just get out while she can and move on-when you try to "get the stuff" it gets bogged down-I wish her all the best -(I would have shot the guy)

Answer 3

You are too involved with the relationship with your mother and step dad. Please, get yourself out of the house, find activities that let you think about the outside world and improve yourself. It is very nice that you want the best for your mom, but this is her relationship. If she needs help, she should go to people that can council her. You may want to suggest this, but it is not your place to be involved. Develope your mother daughter friendship and stay out of her marital problems. Don't let her drag you in either.

Answer 4

I think you should consult with an attorney, and later talk with your mom...after you have some solid information.

You sound like a nice person, and one who is trying to protect his/her mother. Good luck.

Your stepdad sounds like a selfish man, BTW. And his brother sounds like a moron.

Answer 5

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