Why is my confidence so low...?

Question

I am a really... shy... person, my confidence is low... I know it, everyone else knows it - I want to change, yet I can't?

This is how low my confidence is;

- I don't like playing my music loud, I use headphones.
- I don't like to have phone conversations in a room with other people around, I have to go upstairs or in a seperate room.
- I cannot chat to girls properly, I just lock up and get even quieter!
- When I go out, I have it in myhead that everyone is looking at me and laughing.
- I am interested in girls, I want a girlfriend- But my confidence is my limit.

I mean, I am not bad looking, I've been told I'm "hot" by various girls, and yet I have never had a girlfriend. Ever. I am 18. I have not had one, yet people who are not so attractive can get gjrlfriends... O_O; (That sounds bad, but it is just an observation)

Also: Online, I am not shy at all. Just in real life.

Answer 1

hahah i totally know what you mean.
well not first hand.
[im rarely ever shy]
but i get it
when ur on the internet
of course its easier to talk
i find it easier
to talk with strangers
becasue u can say
what u really think
without having to wonder
if u sound stupid or w/e
cuz i mean u dont know them
in your mind. it doesnt matter
what they think. theres not
gonna be any embarrasment
later on from it
like....theres no confrontation.
and it totally makes sense.

usually people are shy
because of appearance
but u say ur a good looking guy
hhahaha so idk?. u jsut really
have to make it a goal
to step out
and try new things
maybe put urself
in a totally new
envoirnment
with no one who you alreadys know
because ts easier to be a diff person
with people who dont know
who you are
people tend to hold u back
from changing because
in ur mind ur thinking
what are they gonna think if i act diff,
or like people will be like,
hey, thats not u, ur acting diff
just like little remarks
tht reminds u in ur mind
of your shy self...
or w/e but if u surround urself with people u dont know,
i find it kinda fun,
cuz its ur chance to forget about ur "fears"
and maybe just become a little more outgoing.
making new friends who see the outgoing side of you, eventaully makes u become more
and more outgoing..
im sure this didnt help??.. but..
i felt like putting in my thought on it

:]

Answer 2

It sounds like its just your confidence when you are in direct contact with someone which is the problem ie. face to face, on the phone etc. There is no magic cure for low self esteem, it is very much to do with how you see yourself. Different methods work for different people and you are not alone! The main thing is to feel comfortable with yourself, because when you do this you will instantly become more attractive to people. Trust me it is not all about what you look like! If you have had positive comments about how you look then it is not your look that is the problem. Be happy with yourself, everyone has something positive to offer. Concentrate on the other person instead of yourself, that will take your attention away from your insecurities.

Answer 3

Dude you sound pathetic, however you sound like a normal young guy too. Most people wouldn't admit that they are insecure like you just did. I really don't know what to say except that you miss out on a lot in life by being they way you describe. Females want men to be confident in themselves and show it too, or else one day when you are in your mid twenties or higher you will be hooked up with a girl that is older than you and has done so much more cool **** than you and has been with lots of guys. All the while you will be the dude that got stuck with the typical case of the girl who used to ''get it in every hole and now she wants to settle down with a nice guy"...think about it bro.

Answer 4

It's way better that you're shy rather than cocky. That makes you cute and different from all the other guys. There's something mysterious about it and will leave girls wanting more. The loudmouth guys at school are SO annoying in my opinion and i would so rather date a shy guy! As long as you don't act like you aren't interested, just have confidence in yourself when you see a girl you like, but you don't need to be mouthy at all!

Answer 5

There could be many reasons why your confidence is low, but the usual reason for this problem is the elastic.

It stretches after a while and then your confidence starts to sag in the middle.

If I were you I'd buy a net bag to put it in and sling it over your shoulder.

Answer 6

Maybe try to find assertiveness classes in your local college. Or maybe go to doctor and ask to see a counsellor or therapist to help you work your way out of shyness. The sooner you start the better so make it new Year resolution!

Answer 7

Try to raise your confidence.
Be yourself.
Don't think of negative things.
Because it is all in your head.
Think that your confident.

Your confidence is low because your thinking of negative things abut yourself and everyone around you.

BE YOURSELF AND BE CONFIDENT

OR ELSE YOU'LL BE SAD FOREVER

Answer 8

That's it try to hang around people u know you will be crazy around without considering what they would think about you. preferably. hang around with people on the Internet it saves you a lot of speech and blushes.

Answer 9

Try setting yourself small goals to do things you wouldnt usually do.... like approaching people, speazking out loud e.t.c

Answer 10

i honestly dont know, because i have the exactly same problem.
(its nice knowing i am not the only one with this low self esteem issue)