how can i get my husband to help around the house?

Question

i work at full time job from 9am to 6pm and get home around 7pm everynigt. when i come home it's cook, help with homework and then try to get what cleaning done that i can before i finally just fall out. i'v tryed no sex,leting the house go for about 2 wks, nothing works. it's like he has no pride. trash all over the yard, dishes everywhere, won't wash clothes,make beds,vacuum,clean toliets anything!!!!!help, i've tried talking to him, plus there are 2 big labs (dogs) that are also in the house messing up everything. help tell me what to do

Answer 1

Have you tried a calm sit down talk with him where you say you are overwhelmed and need help to maintain the house?
Go into this with a list of everything needed to maintain the house, yard, children, dogs, etc. Tell him you want to redivide tasks and that you need his help in getting these done. If there are some that you especially hate maybe he would be willing to do them. Tell him that you are willing to trade tasks (some or all) every six months or so. Men don't take hints. They need to clearly hear what you need or want from them.

I can't stand dishes or vacuuming but my husband doesn't like cleaning the bathroom. We both do laundry.

Good luck.

Answer 2

The one that worked for me is to tell him you want a divorce. Although he still didn't help clean anything, now he's gone and any messes that need cleaning are ones I made myself. We'd been married for almost 5 years and not once did I ever see him lift a hand to fix or clean anything. Any chores that got done, got done by me. I thought that if I just quit cleaning to see if he'd notice it would make him think he should help but then my house became a disaster area and I couldn't stand it. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Well my wife has the same problem as you. We may live in the same house but to all intent and purposes we live in different worlds

To get the man to work you have to understand the mind of the man. If the mind of the man is that it his destiny to burb and fart and for you to serve and admire him, then obviously you have your work cut out.

At the moment you are not a wife, you are a substitute mother, and he is in his play pen.

I suggest he thinks he is a man. He believes that doing women's work would emasculate him. He would become a pansy, a poof. It has never occurred to him that doing nothing is in fact worse. The only people allowed to do nothing are babes in arms, grown men are worse because, at least babes in arms are cute. We burping, farting and snoring men are not.

Do you have anyone on his side of the family with whom you are friendly and who is aware that he is a slob? They may be a useful ally, because to change him you will probably have to hit his pride below the belt, and that won't make him happy. You know the old saying two heads are better than one, so an ally would be useful, and that it is just not you nagging. Infact get as many people as you can on your side, but I realise easier said than done.

So far your plan of action hasn't worked because you haven't addressed him and it won't until you understand the picture that he has of himself, and you won't change anything unless you shatter that picture. As long as he believes he is approved by God and admired by men why should he change?

You also need to have some house rules. Tell him to keep the dogs outside in kennels, and if he must have them inside, then he must vacuum and get rid of all the hairs.

Surely he does help with the homework. You are not saying that as well as being lazy he is also ignorant and not involved in his children's education are you. Surely not.

Anyway got to go being summoned by my wife

Answer 4

Does he acknowledge the unfairness? What does he say? Is he just lazy or does he think its a woman's job?
Ask him if there's anything he would be prepared to do (i hate hoovering and cleaning but don't mind cooking and grocery shopping).

If he is not the type to deal with this in an equal manner then get a cleaner and make him pay for the cleaner!

Answer 5

I think your husband needs to wake up and smell the coffie.
does he not work if not then by all means he should pick up your home and anything else so when you come home you can rest.
he should have dinner on the table as well.
and as for those big labs dogs I'm sorry dear but they need to be out side. mainly if your husband isn't doing anything to help you out. he is wrong!. I know he knows how tried you are when you come home. it sounds like you have a very lazy husband!.
it must not bother him to be like that it shows if it doesn't bother him.
or he would pick up and have your home spotless then that shows
appreciation, for you. I hope things work out for you good luck.

Answer 6

28 years married to a lazy man. I know exactly what you are going through. He thinks just because he works he doesn't have to do yard work or help me...I work too and when I come home, so Good Luck!

Answer 7

Been there done that, already wore out the tee shirt doll! Hire a cleaning service. It will save your marriage. Find the money...no excuses. You will wonder why you waited so long!

Answer 8

i was going to say try no sex but seems like you tried that...well since hes not helping then you should stop doing stuff for him.dont cook for him dont do nothing for him and when he need something tell him to get it himself...or maybe you should just act like he's invisible then he maybe he will take you serious

Answer 9

honestly?
i'd make him sleep on the couch or the floor...
and maybe just disappear for a week or two to make him realize what he had... and what he's ruining.
or lock him out of the house with his keys in your hand and not let him back in until he decides to help out.

Answer 10

just tell him either help or nothing is going to get done he knows your going to do it resort to calling him a lazy *** thats just waht he is lazy tell him to go be lazy somewere else not in your home and mean it i would be sick of it you know its only going to get worse you know stand up for yourself.