My husband and I need custody of his children. They are 8 and 10. They are bright, intelligent kids and we have the means to further their learning. We also have a more stable home environment than the mother. She is a diabetic that only stays in the bed when she's home. They have called us crying at 2:00 in the afternoon because they haven't had anything to eat, she starts fights with us in the children's presence and she lets them stay at a babysitter's house that has gone to prison for meth manufacturing. Several people have told us that her boyfriend (who is constantly around the kids) is a meth addict. As far as we know, she does not do any drugs, but it could be possible (birds of a feather flock together). We have not seen the kids in 2 1/2 months because she wants more child support. We are not behind on child support and we have hired a lawyer. She has been served with contempt papers and still won't let us see the children. Help!! Does it sound like we have a custody case?
2007-12-21 09:11:39 · 9 answers · asked by jazzygirl110381 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No matter how the law is written, Courts will always give preference to the mother. you need to get child protection involved to document the issues. it appears you have a case but you and your husband need to be squeaky clean.
2007-12-21 09:21:38 · answer #1 · answered by cmrwash 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hungry kids? Yes, I'm on your side- seems like your husband's ex is not such a wonderful mom. But does her neglect and association with meth users rise to the level of bad parenting that would compel a court to give you custody?
Attorneys are what you need to do the legal "handshake" thing in court. Your attorneys will need some sort of documentation about the hunger and neglect as well as the babysitter's meth conviction. Talk to your attorney about the value of their testimony- "Mom called dad bad names on the phone" might be compelling, but traumatizing.
Non-custodial visitation is an issue that I don't know much about. I believe there must be an order somewhere granting your husband every other weekend or something similar. Even if there's a convention that the parent with custody provides transportation, you can arrive at the right time to pick up the kids. If she won't release them to you, you have a couple of options. Call the local police and see if they will help you enforce the custody agreement. (Have a copy of her contempt papers available for the cops.) Document her refusal in an email with a cc to your attorney.
Lastly, don't forget the human approach. Might be hard with a bitter ex who has self-worth issues and resents her station in life, but everyone deserves the human touch. Ask her to do the right thing, without mentioning her shortcomings or past transgressions. What I'm telling you is to stay on the high road, in everything that you do with her.
Good luck and have a great Christmas!!
2007-12-21 09:36:22 · answer #2 · answered by going_for_baroque 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is not really what you described. It is usually very hard for a man to get custody especially if there is no divorce. Not impossible, just very difficult. What is really going on is a problem adjusting schedules to suit everyone's needs. If the father doesn't have any other children to tote around, can he drop your son off at your home instead of you having to rush with your other child to pick him up? Are there more appropriate times or days that will accomodate you both better? You need to sit down with him and calmly work oout an arrangement that suits all three of you. He shouldn't have to settle for less time than you have because he is his son as much as he is yours. Like others have said, count your blessing that he wants to be in your son's life.
2016-03-16 04:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder why your attorney hasn't filed an emergency petition to get faster action before a judge. Regardless, you would need to have concrete, irrefutable evidence of some wrongdoing by the mother for her to lose custody. It's a real (expensive) uphill battle. You can make all the allegations you want, but unless you have evidence it's not going to mean much to a family court judge.
2007-12-21 09:17:21 · answer #4 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get an attorney as long as you have evidence to back up these alleged happenings such as drug use and trafficking then you have a real chance of winning tempory custody until everything can be verified and you can also called child services and will go over unannounced and check things out for you. this is scary. i would get an investigation going if i were you,b/c if they remove the kids from the home,you will get them if they deem your household in good standing as well. i hope it all works out for you.
2007-12-21 09:25:36 · answer #5 · answered by freedom fighter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might have a case, but you will have to do your homework, and ALOT of it. You will have to get as much dirt on mom as you can, without getting any on yourself. You will have to have witnesses who will testify for YOU, against MOM. See about getting a guardian ad litem appointed for the kids. (their own court-appointed lawyer). You MIGHT have a chance. Now the bad news----- It doesnt matter what you KNOW. It only matters what you can PROVE. Thats straight out of my lawyer's mouth. This means that unless you can PROVE the things you say, it doesnt mean anything. For example--- the babysitter and boyfriend. Granted its not a good choice on mom's part, but unless they are doing drugs in front of the kids, or offering them to the kids, the judge wont be interested. You most likely wont be able to so much as get them drug tested. Mom, sure you can, but dad will be too. It doesnt matter what you KNOW--- it only matters what you can PROVE. As for her keeping the kids from you, the longer she does, the better it is for you. Its hard not to see the kids, but thats just getting her in more trouble. And yes, the judge could change custody just on that alone. It doesnt mean he will, but he could. Basically, the home life you can provide for the kids has to be 100 times better than what theyre in now to make it worth the disruption of moving them. And you have to be able to prove HOW its better. The court system sucks when youre the one trying to get something done. I havent been able to get anything done to my ex about being behind nearly $10,000 in child support. I have a cousin who's ex wife has gotten busted several times with meth, and he gets temporary custody while she's in rehab, but when she gets out, she gets the boys right back. Good luck with your case.
2007-12-21 09:54:28 · answer #6 · answered by tonysdoll815 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu need to ask the lawyer.
Emotions don't fly in court, but facts do. Let the lawyer gather the facts about drug use, the kids not getting fed, etc. and let those things speak out in court.
2007-12-21 09:17:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion, you catch more bees with honey... that being said try to be nice to her, and call her as one girlfriend to the next, and tell her you want help make her life easier, and raise the kids full time, dont come across as making it appear that life with you would be better.
see that's the problem with women these days we need to learn how to better communicate without all the bickering
2007-12-21 09:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the kids are going to be screwed up forever. Whether you do or not this is their mother you're trying to push down and walk on. They lose.......regardless!
2007-12-21 09:18:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes i think you do as far as you can prove that the kids are better off with there father.
2007-12-21 09:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by chizzyI 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋