Is it normal for a husband/boyfriend to want to be left alone when first come home from work?

Question

My fiance and I live together. When I first come home from work, all I want to do is give him a big kiss and hug. When he first comes home from work I am usually so happy to see him that I run up to him and give him a hug and kiss. He gets angry and said 'can't you give me five or ten minutes to myself, I just got home. Don't you have anything better to do than to stand around here staring at me?' Ouch -that hurt. Is this normal, ok, or is something else going on? He did say he tired at first n I started telling him about my day and that my jerk boss gave me a compliment and said I am doing good and to look forward to a busy year next year. This is when he said 'don't you have anything better toi do than stand around here staring at me and can't I have ten minutes to myself when I first come home?' Is it bc I started talking about myself or what? Actually, even when I don't talk about myself and all I want to do is give him a welocme hug I get the same response -leave me alone.

Answer 1

That is so completely normal..That's how guys are..Leave him alone and let him unwind for awhile after he gets off work and he'll come to you when he's ready

Answer 2

It's normal, specially on guys, I am one of those guys.

It gets to a point where you don't even know or you aren't able to explain, but alone time is just so important. Is when you remember the kind of person you are and what is your purpose in life.

If you don't want to be her ex in sometime in the future. Negotiate that from a friendly stand point of view, and make it brief, because you will make him tired really quick and his attention spam will be very short.

He needs to do some of his old hobbies again, or spend time in the house doing something. Make sure he is able to attend some of the things he used to have time to do, and that now he doesn't, and you will see that once he has that in order, it will be better. He doesn't have the oxygen he is needing, and when you are comming over, is like you take second-hand air, used-air and you need to breath deeply fresh air, and you don't have it, you can be that mean if you are loosing your oxygen.

That was just a way of explaining. You are with one of those guys, I understand your husband very well, and also you because you are like my ex. And for some reson is my ex, she didn't want to listen or ever put any efforts on understanding.

Answer 3

It is very normal. Not every guy reacts the same way, but a lot of guys do. We need time to unwind from the day before we are ready to focus our attention on our wives. It's just one of the ways men and women are different.

You are lucky that he is being honest and telling you what he needs. He could just start going to a bar after work to get the wind down time he needs, instead of coming home to you. If you get your feelings hurt rather than giving him some space, you might as well pack up and move out, because the relationship will not last.

Answer 4

My bf works about 50+ hours a week and when he comes home I am really excited to see him because I don't work so I've been alone all day, but I know that he has just worked a very long day and I know if I bombard him with attention and love he also gets a little irritable, so I always give him 10-15minutes to relax and take his mind of things before I attack him :-)
But we've been together 5 years and it took about 3 to realize this

Answer 5

Oh yeah pretty normal. When I come home I want to be left alone. However, just a kiss is not too much. So when he comes home, give him a kiss, no hug and leave him alone until he comes around. If he says anything when you kiss him, just say "All I did was to give you a kiss, I have better things to do too." If he is still grouchy, you might want to re-think that wedding.

Answer 6

i am the same way. it has nothing 2 do with cheating or not loving my partner or whatever is going thru ur mind. i work 16hrs a day with ppl who sometimes i wonder if they learned their trade from a cracker jack box. i also get very dirty and smells aren't very impressive. 4 those reasons i need a few 2 unwind and shower before becoming close with my partner. i consider it respecting our time together by not grossing her out with the odor nor taking my day out on her. 5-10 minutes brings me back 2 the reality that i have a life outside work and a woman who loved me at the time...see i'm not with her anymore b'cause she divorced me for of all reasons...thinking i didn't love her and was cheating on her 4 not being intimate with her immediately after walking in the door from work.

i hope it works out better 4 u.

Answer 7

His reaction may be a bit harsh, but what he is seeking is some time to unwind. Instead of running to him for a hug and kiss, how about saying "hi", letting him go do whatever he wants to do (change his clothes, lay in the bed, etc) and then when he's had his time, smother him with affection.

Answer 8

After a stressful day at work most men don't want to come home a listen to you gripe about your day. My husband comes home and I greet him with a hug and kiss and tell him I'm glad he's home. He then goes and changes his clothes, checks his e-mail, says hi to the animals and then it's time for dinner. After dinner is when we sit and talk about our day. I think he may just need time to unwind.

Answer 9

Give the man a chance to unwind from his day. 15 - 20 minutes to take his clothes off, have a drink , and relax should be enough to let him unwind. Approaching after a hard day will unwittingly allow his rage from his day to leak out on you.

Answer 10

I'm that way. I need a few minutes to 'de-pressurize' before going in the "I'm at home" mode.
It's not that I'm not glad to be home. It's not that I don't want to see you or talk to you.
I just need a break from all of the needy people at work.