It is very difficult for me to trust others. I can't figure out why. N whn I trust I trust wrong people!!!!!!!

Question

I hv had a normal n happy childhood......n there are no skeletons in my closet....

Answer 1

I totally understand you..'cause I have the same problem and know how it changes your prespective on every possible thing in life. I was very trusting a few years ago..but a few years ago, I came across a few personalities that were harmful, and my gut feeling was to stay away, and I did, and no harm came my way. BUT I am not that same person anymore and know NOW that not everyone is trust worthy. And oh, I have not had any bad incident happen to me either, and have had and still have a happy life.I have no tips on how you can change...cause I could not...but I can share some tips on how to live with it:

- First, you don't have to make your distrust obvious, unless something big is at stake. Start out by accepting that you do not trust ABC. And keep evaluating him/her. test people out first on smaller issues where trust betrayal won't hurt, and if they pass, keep moving on gradually to more important matters

-Next, like I mentioned before, there's always a tiny voice within everyone that that sometimes strongly says DON'T TRUST or TRUST. Listen to it, and believe me, you won't go wrong with that.

-Next, if you do not feel comfortable trusting but still want to show that you do, keep a backup plan or solution ready. That way, you would not be very stressed trusting someone

I know my suggestions seem difficult, and even
manipulative. But in todays world where its difficult to know whom to trust, it works best. As long as you don't let the people involved know that you don't trust them, and are doing your best to not hurt their feelings, all you are doing by being that way is being careful.

take care.

Answer 2

You must just be drawn to certain types of people that do you absolutely no good. Where do you meet these people and are there similarities between the bad choices, like looks or jobs or age. Are they risk takers, Do they drink a lot. Figure out what draws you to these people and try to avoid this type or a place you find them. Once you identify the characteristics of these people you will probably be amazed at what you were subconsciously looking for and finding. It is hard to change the types but, once you figure out the pattern you can try to avoid the wrong people

Answer 3

You may have to realize that trust is not bestowed but earned. Something that helped me when I was younger was to think of it this way: when I meet someone new, I give them a few "trust credits". For example, I take them by their word, believe they dont stand me up, little things like that. Then I watch and see what they will do with those credits. Will they earn more credits by saying what they do and doing what they say? or will they take away from these credits by not being on time, feeding me some lam excuse, etc. At -1 I usually let them go.

Answer 4

I read all answers but felt I should type something rather compromisingly voting.

You are not mature enough and maturity has nothing to do with how old one is. Life is like this..trial and error. You have to learn from your mistakes and as I do not know your age..i will suggest NOT TO REPEAT YOUR MISTAKES. This is what brings maturity. Do trust people and see that you do not repeat your past mistake in judging them.

What being a man I feel is that woman have third instinct...and they feel by heart when making relationships.
Do not worry and go ahead and have fun with life. You seems to be a protected kid...because protection does not teach how to handle pain !