My husband and I have been seperated for almost a year now.He has already found a girlfriend and they are having a baby in a month.He doesn't pay me anything for our kids(I don't have a court order yet)Anyway,to make a long story short,I really can't stand him because of what he has done to me and the kids.He thinks calling them a couple times a week and seeing them when it is best for him makes him father of the year.I got my daughters ear pierced yesterday as one of her Christmas presents and my husband is having a fit about it.He is telling me to take them out of her ears and I was wrong for doing it.She is 10 and she wanted them.I really don't see what the big deal is.He said he didn't want her to have them until she was 14.What do you think?Can he hold that against me when we go through the divorce?
2007-12-21 08:34:40 · 27 answers · asked by lvbrdy4vr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Kids that age and way younger get their ears pierced all the time. It's not like you gave the kid a nose ring or a tongue ring.
Now personally I have always believed that getting piercings as young as 10 is a bit trashy. But most people would probably disagree with me on that.
As far as your former husband goes, I'd tell him straight. If he wants to make decisions about his children he needs to be an active parent. This would include paying for half of the child's upbringing. Dumping the child on you and providing no financial help for her is outrageous, and until he steps up to the plate financially, his say in her upbringing should be minimal.
Finally, I don't think he can hold the ear piercing against you in any way. It is a common mainstream thing.
2007-12-21 08:39:23 · answer #1 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing wrong with piercing a 10 year olds ears. If he wants more say in what goes on then he needs to spend more time with her. Tell him you did it to help her self esteem since he is so determined to destroy it by not being there for her more when she needs it. He can try holding it against you but I bet there isn't a judge anywhere that would take him seriously. Since he chose to leave he left you as the major decision maker in your kids life. That is what you are doing. If he doesn't like it he should have thought about that before he decided to leave and find someone else. Consider yourself lucky that he is gone. Sounds like a pretty selfish self centered man to me. You just keep raising your kids to the best of your ability and tell him he can make the call when they are with him. It's easy for him to say no if he doesn't have to be there to back it up. He just wants you to do the dirty work. Tell him to grow up and get over it. All the negativity he is bringing into their lives is much more damaging than an ear piercing. I find it ironic that he says what you did was wrong. He evidently doesn't know the meaning of the word. Good luck to you and stand your ground. He isn't your boss.
2007-12-21 08:47:22 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with piercing someone's ears. Makeup and shorts with sayings on the behind etc etc for a 10 yr old is wrong, ear piercing.......no. However it sounds like your x is trying to be a father given the difficult situation but should be paying for them I agree. If he does hold that against you, you can always come back with the lack of child support.
2007-12-21 08:41:30 · answer #3 · answered by dharrasunrise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are separated, and you are two different people with different parenting styles/beliefs. If as a mother you felt it was the right time to get your daughter's ears pierced then there is no way he can use this against you in a divorce. Having different opinions regarding you children's upbringing is normal and this is something you and husband must/will come to realize.
2007-12-21 08:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by Jaxi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is just looking for a reason to argue. She is 10 and I don't see what is wrong with it. He can't hold it against you in court, I mean he is there father, but hey its done and over with now, so you may as well leave them in. I mean what is the difference between now and 14 anyways. They will be peirced the same. Tell him to get over it. However it may be court ordered that you must consult all things with him in regards to things done to or for your children.
2007-12-21 08:40:23 · answer #5 · answered by ?? yaddajean ?? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 10 your daughter is plent old enough to take care of her ears. Your ex is off base and still attempting to control you by remote.
GO FILE FOR CHILD SUPPORT!
Go file for divorce!
He has clearly moved on, and so should you! Divorces are relatively cheap. Go to the bookstore and get a copy of the latest do-it-yourself divorce guide for your state and just follow the directions. It takes like 50 days to become final in most states. You want to file the papers first because he will attempt to screw you out of everything.
Do not allow him to control or manipulate you.
2007-12-21 08:43:57 · answer #6 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should see a lawyer. That being said I don't have much sympathy for your husband. He knocked up another woman while married to you yet has the gaul to think that piercing your daughters ears is setting the wrong example? He needs to get real.
If he cared about the moral example provided to his daughter, he would not have a pregnant girlfriend.
He is just a control freak. You're better off without him.
2007-12-21 08:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by Daniel T 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really don't think he would be able to do anything about you getting her ears pierced. She's your daughter too. Usually the mom is the one to make the decision about getting their ears pierced anyway. It sounds like he needs to be giving child support to you and not worry about the ears.
2007-12-21 08:40:34 · answer #8 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just jealous he isn't the one who took her to do it. My daughter got her done at 4 years old. My husband kept telling me that he didn't want her to have her ears pierced; However, when we were at the mall, he saw someone else doing it and told me he was going to get her's done.
He cannot hold that against you at all. Your daughter is a big girl and can decide for herself if she wants it done or not.
2007-12-21 08:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hell no- thats your right to do if you have custody of the children (for the most part) - if he doesnt have custody then he shouldn't have any say in whether or not he wants his daughter to have earings - seriously - if your the one who got the kids then you are responsible for raising them how you see fit and if you dont have a problem with getting her ears peirced then he can suck it - no joke
merry CHRISTmas
2007-12-21 08:40:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋