Do guys who want a "submissive" woman give men who date Asian women a bad name?

Question

This was inspired by reflections on a question posted elsewhere and this really seemed the most appropriate venue for it. Sorry.

Anyway, growing up, being into manga and anime and learning Japanese and also finding that several of the female math geeks happened to be Asian and later finding the exchange students to be a studious, focused crowd, I dated several Asian women when I was younger. I also occasionally heard suspicions from people (male and female) that this represented some sort of "submissiveness" thing. This couldn't have been further from the truth, e.g. I don't think someone who says "I like sexy, beautiful, obedient submissive woman. men are proud intelligent superior being" wants a woman who can correct him on his understanding of the Axiom of Reducibility in Set Theory. (Not saying "all Asians are good at math", just in this case.)

Does all f the "I want a submissive woman" talk one often hears make you suspicious when you see a non-Asian man date an Asian woman (whether Asian-American or foreign)

Rainbow, my copy of that is filled with highlighting, underlining, and dog ears, from when I had less respect for books, though I always preferred Bernays!

Actually, the best retorts for Set Theory are from Wittgenstein's "Remarks on the Foundations of Mathematics", but at that time I had drunk the Frege-Russell-Carnap-Quine Kool-Aid!

You a Quine fan?

Answer 1

Gnu - what an interesting question. I see so many questions about men asking if they should go to Asia if they want a feminine submissive woman and I think your question really clears up alot of cliches.

Firstly, the idea of submission really comes from cultures - Asian cultures generally used to encourage women to be a housewife, follow the will of the husband and the family. In Japan this still actually does occur - I refer you to the example of the Crown Princess. She was once criticised for speaking 20 seconds longer than the Crown Prince at a press conference, and also for walking in front of him. Notice in every photo she walks behind him - that is the rule.

However, generally speaking, modern times now allow Asians to be as outgoing and sophisticated as their wester counterparts. Feminism now is acknowledged among many Chinese and the idea of the woman going out to work was accepted a long time ago. In my grandmother's time, men sought women who could cook, clean and bear children - now, men seek women who are their intellectual equals.

Anyone who thinks Asian = submission suffers from a lack of knowledge and pure ignorance.

Answer 2

I'll be honest: The only time I've ever been friend with an Asian is when I was in 3rd grade. Our neighbors were from China, and they had a girl who was my age. Other than that, I've never really known any Asians personally, mostly due to the fact that there aren't very many living in Indiana.

I have, however, read some literature and blogs by both Asian males and females who find that "submissive Asian woman" stereotype quite offensive. Anyone who would claim they want to look for a woman outside of the US, particularly with Asian countries so they can find a "submissive woman" is clearly an ignorant fool.

Answer 3

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Women don’t want to feel as though they are completely responsible for your happiness and that is what it feels like when the other person has no outside interests. Men who are overeager or jump when the woman says jump are the ones who are more likely to end up in the friend zone. This doesn’t mean that you should play the game of not calling for a few days; it means that you should set healthy boundaries until you both naturally find a spot for the other in your lives.

Answer 4

I have a thing for Asian women (I may have already told you this Gnu). I've been trying to think if their generally submissive behaviour was the at the bottom of the attraction. Finally I have to say no it wasn't.
My favourite are the Indonesians (there are many here in the Netherlands, it's an old colony) and I also like the Asian Surinamers. The ones who grow up in the west tend to have a near similar outlook to other western women.
It's the bone-structure and eyes that does it for me though.

I'm rambling now......

Answer 5

Not only that, but they give Asian women a bad name.

One of my friends is Chinese/Vietnamese, and another is Filipino. They are both first generation American born. When I talk to them about this whole "submissive" perception, they laugh. One of them said, "They have NO idea!" Her opinion is that Asian women rule the roost, they just "let" their men think that they're in charge.

Oh, and I doubt very seriously that the "I like sexy, beautiful, obedient submissive women..." crowd is very likely to have any understanding of the Axiom of Reducibility in Set Theory at all.

Answer 6

Asian women are not submissive. There's a whole tradition that I wish all of you would understand - those of you who say they are. And each Asian country has a different tradition, just like each European country had different traditions. In order to understand that one has to live there or at least be seriously involved with an Asian person, go to family parties and so on.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Here's another small personal look on this topic ...

My male cousin, early 40's, has always dated Asian women. Mainly Japanese, from Japan. He always described them as submissive and that is what he desired from a woman.

Interesting side bar, when he was an adolescent, he was seduced by an older Japanese woman - his piano teacher. This must play into the scenario, but I haven't decided quite how yet.

He is soon to wed his latest Japanese woman. She is carrying his child.

Interesting, don't ya think?

Answer 9

All Asian women are not submissive. I date one once , and when she got made look the heck out, nothing submissive about here. I think stereotypes need to take a backseat this day and age and point out that people are just people.

Answer 10

If asian women were so submissive they would not have such high divorce rates in their countries. A lot of the western men ive seen who have been married to asian women, have not been the controlling type, and often times its the woman who is pushing him around and controlling all the money.