My wife has gotten to where she expects me to rub her feet with lotion every night. I've explained to her that sometimes I just don't feel like doing it (like if I'm tired and just want to relax), but when I don't do it, she will say something like "oh, I'm sorry rubbing my feet is such a hassle" and then I feel bad about it. It's really starting to feel like a duty that I'm expected to perform on a nightly basis, and I don't know how to explain this to her without sounding mean or selfish. Anyone have any advice?
2007-12-21 06:36:19 · 13 answers · asked by dave999212 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would just say to her, I enjoy rubbing your feet, but every night is too much. I get tired and sometimes I just need to rest.
Take care,
Troy
2007-12-21 06:46:15 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when she says "oh, i'm sorry rubbing my feet is such a hassle" just smile and say "yes it is, and thank you for understanding". Because let's face it, it is a hassle. If you want to be comfortable with your wife, sometimes you have to tell the truth. Or you'll wear yourself out. It's not going to hurt her. You didn't say anything mean. She'll get over it.
2007-12-21 14:41:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica C 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You're right. She is putting you in a position where any attempt to explain why you may not want to do this is something you should feel guilty or ashamed about. Get that? She is trapping you into guilt. She is manipulating you. You need to put an end to it before it gets worse. I'll save you some money here, no need to thank me. My woman also requires daily footrubs. I got her one of those foot massager thingies with heating action as a christmas gift last year. She rarely uses it. I got her some massaging slippers as an early christmas gift this year. She has worn them maybe twice over the past week and a half she's had them. I have discovered it is not so much her feet that she is concerned about but rather controling me and getting me to do something for her. My opinion on fairness in this situation: "This dick won't suck itself."
2007-12-21 14:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think things like this require a Power Point Presentation.
First show how her happiness level has increased with foot rubbing and then show how your happiness improves with BJs. Now show the imbalance of happiness between the two of you and finally lay out a schedule foot rubs vs. BJ's that would make you both happy.
You might be able to combine the two into FJs, but that's kind of kinky. Good Luck
2007-12-21 14:59:21 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, with all due respect, check between your legs to make sure they have dropped. Sorry brother, I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but what are you doing? I have a great relationship with my wife, and I would do that for her ONCE in a while if I feel like it. However, if she ever tried to guilty me about it, it wouldn't ever happen again.
No matter how you say it, you won't sound mean, and you won't sound selfish because are not her slave and you don't owe her that. I am sure you work hard too.
I sure as hell hope she does special things for you, but based on the tone of your question, it sounds like she calls the shots.
Be a man and stop letting her lead you by the nose. You will thank yourself.
2007-12-21 14:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it would be best if you told her that you love rubbing her feet because you can see it makes her happy. You want to do it because it feels like a gift from you to her. But when she asks you, it doesn't feel like a gift it feels like a command and a chore. Ask her politely to back off a bit and let you give her the gift of a foot massage without dampening the spirit with the request.
2007-12-21 14:52:03 · answer #6 · answered by amy8bug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married, of course you're wrong.
I do understand and amoung us guys you're right but that isn't going to help your situation. Question, does she do something for you every night? No!? Well, tonight give her the best foot rub you've ever given and when it's over tell her now it's my turn and ask her to do something for you. Something that takes about as much effort and time as the foot rub does.
2007-12-21 14:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by Ooh, Ooh pick me 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I love it when my husband rubs my feet, he only does it once or twice a week though and thats good enough. I rub his too though, does she make an effort to rub hers? just tell her no, and stop doing it period if she is not more appreciative. She sounds like you spoiled her!
2007-12-21 14:45:03 · answer #8 · answered by Brittney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Turn your complaint around for women and change "foot rub" to "sex" and you've got the complaint of many many married women.
I really want to see these answers.
If anyone says "do it because you love her" or " do it - it make her happy" - then they feel and practice the same with what husbands want.
2007-12-21 14:41:57 · answer #9 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy her one of those foot spas from bed bath and beyond. She can still get the relaxiation of having her feet rubbed but without you doing it.
2007-12-21 14:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by jennababe_68 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋