My husband is EXTREMELY jealous!!!?

Question

He says he never feels like he has 100% of me! What the heck does that mean anyway? I do my best to be a good wife and mother.
I stay home with the kids.
I have a hot meal ready for him every night he comes home from work.
His clothes are always washed and neatly folded for him.
I keep the house clean and organized
I take care of ALL the finances (even his child support payments)
The kids are always getting the best care, fed and clean and happy.
He gets laid, not as much as he wants but a few times a week on average.
I do ALL of his shopping as far as clothes.
The house is always stocked with things we need, I stay on top of everything.

He gets sooo mad if I think an ACTOR is good looking, I mean COME ON!! I actually, out of respect for him, never ever say "Oh he's so hot!" but he'll ask me when we are watching a movie and when I say well yea sort of, he'll flip out. He'll say things like "oh you wish you were with him and you want to f*ck him, huh?"

I feel it is totally degrading and I never give him reason to be jealous. I am the most faithful (so is he) and committed wife. I don't feel that i deserve to be treated that way. I have men hit on me all the time and I never reciprocate that, NEVER!
What can I do to help him understand that he is really hurting my feelings.

I'm not the type to be all over him and totally submissive and I think that's what he means by not having "100%" of me, but that's how I was from the beginning. That's what made me more attractive to him. He doesn't like clingy needy girls or even someone who is hanging all over him all the time.

My questions is how can I communicate to him that I feel disrespected.

Also, isn't it totally normal for people to think celebrities are good looking. I mean don't some people have full blown crushes on celebrities. I mean it's so ridiculous that he even achknowledges that I think one or two actor are cute. They are almost like fictitious characters!!

There is NO WAY in hell I would ever leave him, he is near perfect except for this. So please don't tell me to leave him, that's out of the question.

btw, he's 27, he works about 60-70 hrs a week (physical work) and is a great father. So i like doing things like that for him when it comes to housework, laundry, he'd never have the time to do it anyway...

na, he's not a cheater, never was. I know this for a fact.

no he's not bored, he does housework too and outdoors housework all the time.

Quasi - it was like a one night stand, they never had a relationship, he wasn't attracted to her.

He DOESN'T cheat. He GIVES me his cell phone when I can't find mine. I handle all the bills so I see everything. He doesn't use email and when he does he tells ME to send it out or check it. I know everything about him. I even know when he buys a coffee - I have access to all his accounts. Geez, plus I'm not stupid, he can't even secretly by me a gift without me finding out.

Answer 1

Jealousy is simple, it means your husband is very insecure and has a low self esteem... That's it, nothing fancy or mysterious with Jealousy

Answer 2

I believe he has as everyone has already mentioned, insecurity issues and that is nothing that you can make him get over. Only he, can get over that issue and I hope he does it fast b/c that can become a real problem later on in life and no way to be acting. That's asking for trouble.

My spouse and I have a celebrity sex list, just a silly thing that if we could get a freebie non-cheating sex with a celebrity who would we pick. We're aware of the chances of that happening are nil but we're both trusting in one and other to know that we have each other's back.

As you know on my 360, and some emails I get. My spouse is trusting and I don't think anything would waiver that, aside from an obvious cheating. As I said above, your husband has issues that he needs to deal with, all you can do is make sure he has no just cause for the alarm but at the same time, don't lose yourself in that mix b/c of his insecurities. You're human and you should be able to feel and find other men attractive without a guy thinking you're about to eff him.

Perhaps, an idea is to show him the answers to this question, i've done questions I've asked to my spouse to show him what an idiot he can look like. Perhaps that's your next option. Another thing is perhaps have someone, a family member talk to him...he needs a wake up call b/c this will take a toll on you.

Answer 3

I agree that your husband has a huge insecurity issue here, and that isn't good at all. You should have the same amount of freedom that your husband does. It's an awful feeling to always have to explain yourself. I also agree that it seems you are getting an awful lot of attention when you go out and so you may need to really pay attention to any signals you might be sending out. I don't mean that disrespectfully, and am not saying that you are "trying" to attract the attention. I am sure you are very attractive, but it doesn't seem normal to me for men to just hit on a woman in a grocery store. It could be that you are just a big talker, and they perceive that somehow as flirting too though...it's just an idea. Whatever the case, you certainly seem like a very faithful person and it is unfair that he is blaming you if someone simply is checking you out. Now "that" is his problem. You really can't do anything to convince him accept to tell him how they don't matter to you, which I am sure you already do. You need to tell him that he needs to slack off on blaming you because he is "pushing you away." He needs to see that he could do "permanent damage". I think he is seeing it like he is only upsetting you for the time being. That's my best advice. Please don't take offense to me saying what I said about the guys coming onto you. I am only wanting to help you see both sides of the situation. Sometimes those on the outside can see more than the one going through it. Just meant to help, not to hurt. Good luck to you and I hope this helps.

Answer 4

My Husband Is Jealous

Answer 5

He's not supposed to get 100% of you. You are an individual who has a separate life. A marriage is about partnership, not spending every waking second focused on him. I don't have an answer for you, I'm just relieved my husband loves me enough to respect who I am as a person and we have a better marriage for it. I mean, does your husband even thank you for all the work you do on a daily basis? If either of us wash dishes, we take to second to be thankful. It's important not get lazy because laziness breeds disrespect. So if you have trouble communicating this to him, think about seeing a third party to mediate. It's not a big issue, but ignored, it will develop into something bigger. Uh, I guess I did have an answer!

Answer 6

It is amazing how many woman have no clue. It is amazing how many women are so sure their men don't cheat and they are all wrong. He is extremely jealous because he cheats. Check all his cell phone records, work cell phone too. Check all his email addresses including work. You will find all the answers you are looking for. Here are the facts of life you obviously haven't learned yet:


1. There is no Santa
2. There might be a Bigfoot
3. All men cheat, almost all women cheat
4. Marriage ruins all relationships (moving in is the same)
5. Everyone lies (you even lie to yourself)
6. Life is not fair

Good luck and Happy Holidays. Email me
if you want to hear the truth. I don't lie.

Answer 7

You are extremely attractive and sexy and I can see why he gets jealous. Just knowing that you are always stared at would bother me too. But what is the true reason he is jealous? Lets look at it. He seem like a nice looking guy and he just might, just might that is be cheating or has cheated on you in the past. This would give him more of a reason to believe you are cheating. This thought process would help him to forgive himself for his unfaithfulness. Once again I am not saying he is or he isn't cheating but it sounds to me like he may be. He loves you and there for has to find a way to cure his guilt. This is just my opinion. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
I hope I get to see you on the roads in NJ (where I also live). You do have a face I don't think I can forget!

Answer 8

They don't come 100% perfect...
Look, you do look great, and I'm sure that a lot of men would be more than interested in you. There is no way your husband can ignore that. It would take a man who is extremely sure of himself to think that he "has 100% of" an extremely attractive wife like you. Perhaps you should be happy that your husband is not that conceited type who takes your love for granted. I'm sure he very much appreciates what you are doing for him and with him, he just doesn't want to lose you.
If that's your husband's only fault perhaps you should just get used to it and play the game so as not to touch his sensitive spot.

Answer 9

He is a little immature and insecure. It's not necessarily a bad thing. But depending on how much it bothers you, it could eventually turn into a problem if you build up resentment. You sound like the perfect woman except for the sex part. Most guys are lucky if they can get their wives to do just two of the many things you listed that you do. Your husband has no idea how good he has it; he takes you for granted. Maybe you could find some ways to help him become for comfortable in the relationship.

But consider this, if he does feel someday that he has 100% of you, he may become bored also. A little jealousy can be a good thing. It can help keep you both wanting to please and impress each other. If one party feels that the other one will not leave them no matter what happens, they may test it out. This of course is a breeding ground for destructive behavior (alcoholism, cheating, drug abuse, neglect, etc.). I'm not saying that if he knows he has all of you that he will lose interest and start cheating. What I am saying is that maybe you both should learn to be a little more accepting and understanding of jealousy.

He really needs to weigh out his jealousy issues and figure out how important some things really are. Here's an example. An ex of mine expressed that she was attracted to the actor Josh Hartnet. She also had a tendency to cheat on me with guys she found attractive. I know for a fact she would have left me for Josh Hartnet if given the opportunity. Lack of loyalty was one of the main reasons we split up. My current girl has also expressed an attraction to the same actor. Because of the relationship we have, involving a high level of trust, I do not care which actors, singers, etc. she may be attracted to. She would not cheat on me with any of them, and I would show her the same respect. It's all about trust and respect.

If you mention that you think Antonio Banderas is a very attractive man, that should be okay. I mean... he IS. If you say to your friends in front of your husband that Antonio is so hot, and that you would ride him all night long, THAT might be crossing the line. Again, respect and trust. Help each other learn it.

Answer 10

Sounds like he's just a bit insecure with himself. It may or may not be a reflection on you. It could be childhood problems of not feeling good enough. And/or it could be he doesn't feel your love through the actions that you mentioned.

First and foremost, it really sounds like you're in love with him. If this is true, understand that no man is perfect (or woman). Try to see past this pimple that you don't like and focus on what you do love about him. I don't think that it sounds like a deal breaker, so try to stay calm while he's upset and focus on showing you do love him. Reacting back will only make him doubt more. Let him feel confident in your love by staying loving.

Lastly, maybe try to incorporate more romantic actions into your day. Give him constant love so that he'll feel more confident in your love for him. Some great ideas are listed on www.magicofromance.com.

Answer 11

beloved~my husband is the EXACT SAME way. Let me first say that the jealousy is actually just insecurity. He loves you to death and he's afraid that you might find someone else attractive and leave him. I understand the frustration because, like you, I would never think of cheating on my husband and it would piss me off that he even THINKS I would. Would I do all I do if I was cheating? sigh...so I feel your pain.

My encouragement is this...it is possible for him to grow out of that. Behind the jealousy is insecurity. Behind the insecurity is fear. Fear.

The bible says that "perfect love casts out fear". We as wives try to give that perfect love to our husbands but really, its the perfect love of God that he needs to have.

I could tell you stories about the extent to which my husband is 'jealous' about other people. The comments about someone on tv is minor compared to some of the stuff I've had to deal with. BUT...he's gotten better. The more he focuses on God, and trusts God..and refuses to let fear control his mind...the less jealous and possessive he becomes.

There is light at the end of the tunnel beloved~ if you get God involved.