He won't answer my calls or his sister dosn't want me to talk to him anymore I don't know she was so excited that her brother was finnaly going to have a baby.But I think It's just my baby's daddy. I havn't went to his house or anything.I've been tryin really hard lately to find him cause I want him to go to the doctor with me,I'm scared.I wouldn't of kept it if I knew i wasn't going to get help but for him to tell me he wants to do this and then just disapear.It's all crazy. So please any answers would be a great help thanxs.
2007-12-21 05:39:42 · 16 answers · asked by bc 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Take him to court and make him pay child support. If he's that much of a dirt bag, then he'll be a terrible influence on your child. I hope you have your family to help you through since this guy seems to be a dead-beat.
2007-12-21 05:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by WT 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
1. Realize that you may have to go this alone.
2. Find out about child support, visit your local court and inquire about the procedure to seek support.
3. Seeking support may cause a greater rift in the future, so be prepared to work out a custody agreement. This should be official and done in court, just in case anything should go wrong down the road. It is completely up to you if you want to seek full or joint custody, and, this will also have an effect on any support the court may order.
4. Stay positive! I assume you are still pregnant. Stress will cause your blood pressure to elevate, so try to stay calm throughout this.
5. He is probably just freaking out. I does happen sometimes, as it did during my first pregnancy. My guy was always upset, as if I did this to him; like I "ruined" his life. As soon as our daughter was born, he did a 180. This does not excuse his non-participation with doctor visits, but in the end it will be his loss, he will never have the experience of that moment you see your baby for the first time in the ultrasound if he doesn't go with you.
6. Be patient. He may come around later. As you realize, having a baby is a HUGE life changing event. This is a scary time for both of you. All you really know going into it is that your life as you knew it is no longer. That is not a bad thing.
2007-12-21 14:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by marie-pascale 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but its fairly common, once a man realizes how much this will change his life, he disappears, and often his family backs him up.
If you can see your way clear, adopt the baby out.
This way your child and you will have a fighting chance of getting something out of life besides bills and disappointments.
If you don't want to do this then go see a lawyer, he may want to walk out on you but when a DNA test proves his parentage he will be under court order to help support the baby, and that can help you out a bit.
Which, of course won't give you a real daddy for your baby, especially if hes as young as you sound, but it will help.
If you can't afford a lawyer, see a social worker, she will know the proper steps to take.
Its not crazy, look around, how many unmarried women with babies and no man in the picture are there where you live?
You got to grow up now, you don't have a choice, your baby's welfare comes first. Men can and have always walked away, often scott free.
2007-12-21 13:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be glad you see his true colors now. He's probably either not man enough to stand by you and do the right thing for his baby, or he has found someone to have a fling with, or both. Either way, if this is the way he acts when life gets a little tough, then I say "Good riddance!"
As the previous poster said, you will probably end up with someone who will love you and your baby unconditionally. Don't take back the loser who can't even talk to the mother of his child! Set your standards higher.
In the meantime, you will have enough going on with a new baby. God has blessed you with a beautiful new life. Enjoy every minute of it and know that everything will turn out as it should:)
2007-12-21 13:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is too late for an abortion, put the baby up for adoption. That way, people who can't have children of their own can have the baby and give it a good home, and you won't have to spend the next 18 years fighting with a bum about child support and jumping through government hoops applying for welfare.
Adoption is a win-win-win situation for all involved.
If the looser doesn't have the balls to stand up like a man and care for his child, to hell with him. There are other guys around. And next time don't be having kids until you get married.
Doc
2007-12-21 13:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by Doc Hudson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all let me just say that you laid down and had this baby so i think that it's selfish that you are sitting here saying you wouldn't have kept it honey your about to be a mother and plenty of mothers do it by themselves although I dont know you I have faith in you and even if he doesn't come into the child's life then it will be ok once you see that beautiful boy/girl you will know that you made the right choice in choosing to keep your child. Being a mother is a beautiful thing and I can't say much for him it sounds like he's a loser who doesn't deserve to be in his child's life. So my advice to you is let him go if he wants to be there he will if he doesn't then you need to go get child support and be on your way. You don't need a man to take care of your baby. One thing I wouldn't let happen was I wouldn't let him be in and out of your babies life every other day if he does contact you tell him that he's either going to be there or not be there but that he is not going to be in and out! Good luck with everything hun!
2007-12-21 13:46:44 · answer #6 · answered by oliviasmommy613 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest if you cannot find him and he doesn't want anything to do with you or the baby, it's not really much u can do, but put him on child support. U may not have him there physically, but least you will have him financially. Don't let that stop u on how u care for your child...By all means neccessary take of your child FIRST. I know u may have family around to help you so just fall back on them.....And PLEASE take care of your baby!!! Don't worry about a man.....
Good Luck!!
2007-12-21 13:47:21 · answer #7 · answered by Tha Blessed One 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seems to me that he got scared (like all guys do).. i will just stop calling him or looking for him and wait until the baby is born so he can give you child support. If he wants to be with the baby and not with you anymore, then, the baby has all the right to have a father, but a good father he has to be. I know is hard if you still love him, but believe me a guy like that is not worht it. good luck on your delivery and stop worrying about it, is not good for the baby. enjoy your pregnancy.
2007-12-21 13:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to worry about the care of the baby before stressing out too much. I know it is hard. It hapened to me also. I hate to be harsh but maybe he has someone else and he does not want them to know about him being a father. When that baby comes, regardless of him being there or not, get child support.
2007-12-21 13:46:27 · answer #9 · answered by *Momma and wifey* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It may just be that it all just hit him that he's going to be a dad....or, he's running away from responsibility. I know exactly how you feel, I'm in the same boat...Let him know that he's going to be responsible for this child, whether he wants to be or not. I've gone through exactly this...and now I've decided that with my ex, even though he said he wanted to be involved, his lack of interest shows that he wanted to be involved in the MAKING of the baby...not the raising of it...Cut him loose...He'll have to pay child support....Find a better man.
2007-12-21 13:48:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋