im engaged but now ithink my relationship with her is breaking apart.we used to do everything together always laughing and in the perfect moment... we had our fights and arguments like evreyone else but lately its been getting sooo bad. im class A weight lifter at my high school and im crying like a punk.i cant hold it im feeling feelings for other girls everyone tells me i look different im always down now.theres soo much pain in sorrow in me, but i do love her i love her soo much and i dont want her to go, but im only 18 and i feel as if im fourty.im crying right now writting this letter im desprit please someone help before i give everything up...please
2007-12-21 05:39:17 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is consequence for putting all your eggs in one basket. You must maintain a life outside of a relationship. Spending all of your time with one person is a no no. If you lose that relationship, you have nothing left. Looking at other girls is a way of replacing what is lost. Otherwise known as a rebound relationship.
The crying thing is possible depression. Stop drinking diet soda and seek medical advice.
2007-12-21 06:02:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!! I don't doubt that you love her, but you both are too young to enter into this. I know you hear this all of the time and the reason is because it is true. What is the rush to get married @ 18? Both of you need to take time and live and enjoy life. You haven't even begun to live yet, and you are crying over a girl right now. I know, because I was in the same boat as you. Engaged at 18 and looking to marry. Fortunately things did not work out between my fiance and I and we did not get married. I will always love her, but I found happiness in someone else as you will too if you don't marry this girl. If you guys stay together and decide to get married a couple of years down the road then good for you. If not, then you will find someone else. Quit excercising all of your muscles and exercise your brain.
2007-12-21 05:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are too young and having too many difficulties to be getting married right now. I know you love her, but it sounds as though you two need a break for awhile. Resolving problems in marriage is difficult, and you need maturity to be able to do so, and a lot of the maturity for that comes with experience. Right now, you haven't got much experience. You two need to go to college and improve yourselves before you get married anyhow. And think about how old you will feel if you do get married now if you already feel as though you are forty! If you really love each other, take a break or break it off for now. If you really love each other, you can work and wait for each other. I know these days everyone wants instant gratification and waiting sounds silly, but if it is a good thing, it is worth the wait. Don't jump into marriage because you feel guilty or because you love her. Just understand you can love anyone.
Think of it this way, you give yourself, her, and any children you would have brought into the marriage a gift by waiting (or breaking it off). If you are unhappy now, you'll be miserable later. maybe you could go away for awhile (like to college) and find something else to do to keep busy, find something to give you more perspective. Good luck to you, and don't feel bad because you may feel in your heart it's time to say goodbye. For every goodbye, there will be another hello...
2007-12-21 05:53:32 · answer #3 · answered by Gorgeous 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get married.
If you're in this much turmoil, and you're still in high school, you're too young and immature to get married. If you still love her, that's fine. Wait a few years. Go to college, or find a job where you can earn enough to support her, but wait until you - and she - have matured enough to go into this as adults. Legally, you may be old enough, but the fact that you're so torn up means you're not ready for this.
Ideally, I would wait until you've both been living on your own for at least a year - separate from each other, not living together, I mean. You should each pay your own rent, your own car payment, your own bills for insurance, groceries, utilities, clothes, and everything. This gives you a chance to learn what life is like as a responsible, productive adult, and it'll give you a whole lot better chances of your marriage lasting more than a few months.
2007-12-21 05:46:40 · answer #4 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off... reach down and make sure they're still there.
(Crying doesn't make you less of a man, but inaction in a relationship hurts your masculinity)
Second, if there's something wrong in a relationship, it's generally because the man isn't leading. When my last relationship fell apart, it was because I'd stopped pursuing her. Now that you have her, are you comfortable knowing that you're headed toward marriage? I'd say, the man sets the direction for a relationship, but the woman sets the tone. So if you're not leading to those deeper places (of knowing one another), then there's something wrong.
Talk to her. See what's going on. Pursue her heart as if you just met her. Doing this will help.
2007-12-21 06:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by xenoranger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it truly is rather demanding.. yet i might want to say virtually 100% in case you've been on your era and the guy used a condom then you probably did not get pregnant by him. Plus in case you probably did no longer have sex along with your fiance until eventually 2-3 weeks later than your record might want to be in a position to tell by your due date. Request an early extremely sound. The early ones are many times the most precise in telling how a lengthy way alongside you're. if you're no longer going to inform your fiance (regardless of the very shown actuality that it feels like some thing terrible occurred to you and that i imagine it would want to prevail in case you had his help), then you ought to positioned the question of 'is it or isn't it his' out of your innovations. i imagine you ought to refer on your hubby. If he loves you and needs to spend his life with then you definately he might want to understand. I nonetheless imagine the baby is his, yet good success. i will't imagine what a tricky time you're having immediately... draw close in there.
2016-10-19 22:19:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, if your head and your feelings arent in the same place, the decision isnt right. You may not understand right now, but someone who will make you happy will come along. (happened for me). Doesn't mean that it isnt a hard thing to let go of, you genuinely cared for her, but you need to be in a healthy relationship to have a healthy marriage. Give yourself some time. Go live on your own for a while, and discover what you really like and dislike, then go find someone who will fit what you really want. Good luck!
2007-12-21 07:10:02 · answer #7 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me say I think you are too young to be wanting to settle down now how do you know if she is the right one for you. If you want I would say don't give up just try talking it out you can do alot more by talking than you can by just being silent and it's ok to cry no one ever said that a man is never suppose to cry talk out your problems with her and if that doesn't work you know what you have to do it's time to move on sorry, good luck!
2007-12-21 05:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by stormieford 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, you are WAAAAY too young to even consider getting married. You need to post a new question to those who got married at a very young age to see if they felt it was worth it. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. There's no way you can commit to one girl when you haven't even had many years of experience dating other women. It's when you have other dating r'ships that you really get to know yourself, what you want, and more importantly, what you DON'T want. I know it feels like your heart is breaking right now but what you're experiencing is simply young love.....a first love. Your first love is always special in its own way. There's nothing to replace that. But it's clear neither of you is ready to make a lifetime commitment. Stop the engagement and tell her you'd like to just date so the 2 of you can see if you really have a future.
2007-12-21 05:56:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Slow down!!!
You're only 18 and have plenty of time to find the right woman. Finish high school, go to college, get a job, a place to live and then start worrying about a wife.
Don't be in such a rush to grow old with the right woman.
2007-12-21 05:46:03 · answer #10 · answered by Leaveamark 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋