my name back to my maiden name. I have 2 kids from my ex and kept it because of them and because it's so much easier than changing it. But my boyfriend keeps asking me. He hasn't giving me an ultimatum, but I know it bothers him. I really don't mind changing back but want to know your thoughts.
2007-12-21 05:37:53 · 22 answers · asked by Lily 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Changing your name is up to you and not up to what your boyfriend wants, he is just insecure and is using that as an excuse.
2007-12-21 10:09:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants it, and he's serious, and he's thought it through, the last thing you should do is stand in the way of his decision, whatever it is. That said, you need to ask him very realistically if he's still interested in you, and if he's not, understand that his persona is changing, it's not an inadequacy on your part. There are a number of books on this subject, you might try looking at some of those, as well as online or real life support groups to help you both through that. Additionally, I would make a point not to give him an opinion on it either way, he needs to make the choice without any other influences, or he's not going to be happy with it. Trust me on this one. Will things potentially change? YES. Very much so. Things will be entirely different, while some things may be simplified, many new challenges will arise. He will have to take many different supplements, undergo multiple surgeries, and endure lots of social hardship along this journey. And, don't think that you're going to be excluded from this, if you're close to him, people won't spare your feelings anymore. His adversities will be yours. But if you stand by him through this, and you can deal with it yourself(Be sure that you really can! If you can't, it doesn't make you a bad person, but if you force yourself... It's going to explode in a very bad way down the road...), if you really stand by your mate through this, you are going to have one potentially incredible bond there. Very powerful. I wish you the best!
2016-05-25 07:54:30 · answer #2 · answered by kendra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does a name bother him that much? Look at the big picture. If he's that insecure over a name than bigger problems are waiting. You change one thing to make him happy and there will be more to come. When he met you didn't you have that name? How and why is it a problem now?
2007-12-21 05:59:09 · answer #3 · answered by QuEEn B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he will pay for it..LOL
If he really cares about being with you, your last name shouldn't matter. If you explained that you kept it because of your children and he can't accept that too bad. Besides if you all get married someday, you may change your last name to his. It sounds like he is insecure and has a control complex
2007-12-21 05:58:59 · answer #4 · answered by Test 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kept my married name too, because if the kids and the hassle of changing. He is probably asking because he wants to think that will leave the past behind.
2007-12-21 05:49:26 · answer #5 · answered by tarie75 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that, legally, that's what your name is, and until you have another legal reason to change it, that's the way it's going to stay.
I had 6th grade teacher a long time ago that had three name changes during the year. She started out in September with a husband (one name), divorced him in November (another name), and got married in April (third name). We never did get her name right all year!
2007-12-21 06:49:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's entirely up to you. Your name is your name, and it is ultimately your decision which name you want to have. You have to decide how far you wish to go to accommodate other people when it comes to your personal life. If you can take it or leave it, and it seems to be important to your significant other - then it makes sense to change it; more critical things may came up where you will have to "put your foot down". But if it's important to you to keep your name as is, then you need to explain it to him, and he needs to accept your decision. It really kind of depends on how important it is to you. He shouldn't be dictating you which name to have, but I'd think it would be ok if you changed if it's not that critical to you.
2007-12-21 06:24:40 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy Ego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your name. He has no say so on what you should do. He is just a boyfriend. Tell him it is easier to have the same name as your kids until you get married. If he is trying to control this situation then he will try to control everything.
2007-12-21 05:42:36 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really care about this guy, I say you should have changed it a long time ago. Keeping it for the sake of your children is ridiculous. Most of the people commenting on keeping it are probably the same boat as you - single, divorced, 2 kids...
2007-12-21 06:09:04 · answer #9 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Agree with the first one. He's your boyfriend...he needs to understand why you kept your married name. And he has no right to push you into changing you name. What's the big deal, anyhow??
2007-12-21 05:47:42 · answer #10 · answered by Wolfy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋