See this question - actually, the ANSWERS to it are more revealing....
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=As.7QvFBWLMWgQDykLrauYTB7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20071221095607AA99he2
This woman was dating a man, starting dating another one, HID the first guy from the new one, only ditching him after her new guy found out she was with the other guy.
About 2/3 of the answers do not call that cheating.
I find this most disturbing. And it makes me wonder about how many people consider themselves never having cheated, because they were mad at their husband, or he said he didn't care, or he doesn't pay enough attention, or she was drunk.
Isn't dating two people, even in "not so serious" mode, and hiding them from each other, cheating??
And yes the guy in the question was cheating too - but nobody argued about him.
2007-12-21 05:29:55 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think their problem is more complicated than just wether or not he thinks she was cheating. neither one of them was being honest at the time but it sounds like they are married now and are trying to make it work. giving what they did labels won't help to make either of them feel better. there was dishonesty and betrayel on both of their parts and now they need to find a way to deal with it and move on. i don't think women in general are more prone to redefine anything- any one who decides to cheat will find ways to rationalize their behavior. example-she is such a so and so that she makes me cheat, he never makes me feel pretty so..., if he was at home more... all she does is gripe...,
2007-12-21 08:36:00 · answer #1 · answered by adelaide 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ronald D is partly right. But it isn't only Oprah the Ape who encourages women to be self-righteous whores. It's feminism in general, which claims to be for gender equality, but in fact just wants to let women do what they want, when they want, with all the privileges and none of the obligations that go with them.
When men cheat, they know it's cheating. And if you can get them to talk about it, they won't pretend that it's anything else. A male adulterer will admit that what he is doing is adultery. A man knows that it is dishonest, and therefore morally wrong, to take up with a new woman while holding on to the old GF under false pretenses.
And a man holds himself accountable for what he does when drunk; once he sobers up, he'll tell you that being drunk was no excuse for whatever bad thing he did.
Women rationalize that kind of misbehavior much more than men do.
2007-12-21 05:58:34 · answer #2 · answered by elohimself 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is Yahoo Answers where you get what you pay for.
No one here is actually QUALIFIED to give advise.
This is where you go when you are avoiding doing your work, but are stuck at your desk.
I find the answers to any question more revealing about the character to the people on here than anything else.
I give good advise and bad advise and some times I just have funny with people. Again this is not a place for "good" answer just answers. Half the people can't even read the question right.
2007-12-21 05:44:58 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In the question you linked, the man was cheating; I don't consider her cheating. (Someone did say the man was cheating, thankfully.)
I don't think you can cheat on someone if you're not exclusively involved with them. If I've been on one date with a guy, he's not my boyfriend. I can't cheat on a guy who's not my boyfriend (or fiancé or husband). Part of dating is playing the field. You can go out with one guy on Friday and another guy on Saturday if you want. But once it becomes exclusive ("I'd like you to meet my boyfriend") or turns into a sexual relationship, it becomes cheating to have more than one guy.
2007-12-21 05:43:17 · answer #4 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but how can you cheat on someone if you don't have a defined and stable relationship with them. He was engaged and seeing someone else and she was seeing another guy. I don't see anything that would constitute a committed stable relationship except for the guy being engaged. He definitely was cheating. In my mind however, she was simply playing the field. Now if she had told either of these fellows that she was strictly dating one or the other then she was definitely lying and cheating, but if she simply never broached the subject and instead fleetingly dated both of them then I see no fault on her part. When I first met my wife I had an ex who was saying she was pregnant with my child (turns out it wasn't mine) and was seeing two other women as well. Now, I never committed to any of them any type of exclusivity, and never put any confines on them for seeing other men. In fact with two of them we discussed dates we had with other people. We weren't cheating on each other. When I decided to commit myself to my wife, then all other ties were broken.
2007-12-21 05:40:26 · answer #5 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
EVERYONE rationalizes the meaning of cheating to fit their own needs/wants - not just women...but I'd bet my bank account that the meaning would change for the "cheaters" if they became "the cheated on".
Funny how the "golden rule" goes out the window when it comes to immediate gratification.
2007-12-21 05:42:14 · answer #6 · answered by LolaCorolla 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you are seeing someone and don't have an agreement with them that you can both see other people and you start seeing someone else it is cheating.
If you have to look over your shoulder when you are doing something then it is probably something you shouldn't be doing.
2007-12-21 06:03:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The morals and scruples of society is dwindling at an alarming rate! Marriage is declining, births out of wedlock is up, births to single mothers is up, crime is up, drug use rampant, alcoholism, abuse ect. It is hard to find decent people who are honest and actually think about the impact on others before they speak or act! We set the bar for our children and generations to come, sometimes I wonder if having children in this world is blessing them or cursing them!
2007-12-21 06:12:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oprah gave American women the right to be a total whore without being labeled a cheater. If you have a problem with that, take that up with gorilla-faced Oprah.
2007-12-21 05:33:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
In my eyes both of them are loosers and belong with each other.
"Isn't dating two people, even in "not so serious" mode, and hiding them from each other, cheating??"
Yes,,you are right 150%
2007-12-21 05:36:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋