HURT
Once there was hope in my life 'Now it's only
sorrow. where there once lived happinesss now
is shallow. Now my heart is broken a million
pieces or more .. I feel like in my life should
have been blessed with a little bit more . .
And i often wonder ' Is love gonna ever again come
To my door. Love is some what like a battlefield
Some have been deeply wounded Some have
Survived ;All i ever feel How I'm so broken
in side .I feel like my life will Never be the
Same as once in my life i had love that i could
claim. Now all i want is to dry my tears ' Hear
The laughter and forget about the pain...
All the sorrow and madness seems to go on .
2007-12-21 05:23:40 · 12 answers · asked by Cami lives 6 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
You have received the full gamut from "WOW" to "erm well.." Now it's my turn.
I have seen you do better rhyming, and I have seen better rhythm, but not in the same poem. I see great improvement in your writing, I just wish there was something I could do to give you back the joy that your heart shows us it is capable of having. Losing someone close is hard, but in time, new love will come in. Just don't try to replace the old with the new, the two will need to co-habitate in your heart. Hard as that sounds, it does work. I have the love of a deceased love sharing space with my new love, and they get along together very well. Always feel free to lean on me when you are feeling down, I have broad shoulders, and although they are aged, they are still strong enough to hold a large load.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, and have a happy and blessed holiday season. Remember, we think you are special.
2007-12-21 06:06:02 · answer #1 · answered by Dondi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel it sounds good ,you have a deep mind so to let the more literal people feel you just use bigger words for all the negative responders.But me personally I like because it wasnt to simple but not hard to understand or grasp the message.
2007-12-21 13:57:03 · answer #2 · answered by Wreck S 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Peachie! This is good! You have been watching everyone. Your climbing rhymes are very well thought out. The story is sad, but there's also hope and encouragement. Very nice. TD
2007-12-21 13:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Was your inspiration for this piece of work Pat Benatar? Since you so blatently have the reference "Love is a Battlefield" in it?
2007-12-21 13:56:43 · answer #4 · answered by carol k 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You have a very good talent, my friend, but I am saddened over the pain you expressed. Hope all is well, you know how to contact me if you need a friend.
2007-12-21 13:57:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for the pain you have now. Know that God loves you always, good times and bad.
2007-12-21 17:59:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good poem...
easy to relate to...almost everybody who tries it, gets a scar or two from love.
2007-12-21 15:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love it baby. It let loose of all your feelings and you have to do that to feel better. I am here call me if I can't reach you online.
2007-12-21 13:31:00 · answer #8 · answered by The Dark Prince 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
i think its good but i bet you can do better judging from what you wrote
2007-12-21 13:28:28 · answer #9 · answered by ~HopesofDoom~ 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
oh WOW it's amazing you have talent
2007-12-21 13:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋