I found my 17 y o daughter having sex with her BF and I beat the guy so hard he needed an ambulance and...?

Question

...I almost get arrested, now I wanted to press charges against him (he's 20) for statuary rape but the cops told me she's legal to concent sex, I couldn't believe my ears, I live in IL and it seems it is legal for a 17 y o to concent sex, if you had heard such a thing in your state please let me know, in your answer plz tell me what's the age of concent in your state and what state it is.

To Kate
With all respect Kate, could you just answer the question? Im not saying what I did was correct, violence is never the answer, i just was and am very confused.

kaliman and cmn
You're both missing the point could you please just answer the question?

Radiance
I didn't know she was datind that guy she told me she was dating someone her age.

Souldoct
I know I did wrong by beating that guy I indeed thougth he was raping her by the noises she was making, gee this is really embarrasing.

Answer 1

Let me see, you were at your house and found some naked guy ontop of your girl, having sex with her and she was making noises that made you think she was being raped?

Then of course you acted like any other dad and kick the crap out of the alleged attacker, for what you mention i think he dropped the charges against you or never press any but even so no judge will convict you for that, you thought you were protecting your girl.

Now Im sure she's gonna do it again, if not with the same guy it will be with another, maybe only to prove you can't stop her from doing it, kids are like that, i advice you don't knock the next guy she scores.

Answer 2

I have heard of such a thing, and you are exceedingly lucky that HE didn't press charges against YOU. I would have done just that, in his shoes. He committed no crime by having sex with your daughter, and you were VERY WRONG AND STUPID to react the way you did. What kind of example did you set for your daughter, pal? Not a good one, that's for sure. There were far better ways to handle a situation like this. You owe your daughter a HUGE apology, if she will even speak to you now, which I take leave to doubt.

Yes, your daughter was above the age of consent for sex- in IL it's 16, just like it is in the great majority of the rest of the country, including here in Delaware, where I live. I was raised in Indiana, and the minimum age there is 16 too. In fact, I am not familiar with any state where the age consent is above 16 for sex. For MEDICAL CARE, one must be 18 in ALL states, but sex is a different thing. I am sorry your daughter has had to face such pain- the pain of watching you beat the Sh*t out of her boyfriend must have been very upsetting and frightening to her. No wonder someone called the cops. I would have too. You need to face some facts- one of which is that your daughter isn't a little girl any more. She's a woman now, and she will soon have a life of her own, away from you. I just hope that she will eventually forgive you for what you did. Enough said.

To I'm Not Evil: I currently LIVE in Delaware, and the legal age of consent for sex here is 16, not 18. One of the people I work with is a psychologist who has to interview and work with sex offenders as part of his job, and he has passed that information on to all of the people in my office. Delaware DOES HAVE something many other states don't- we have what are called "offensive touching" statutes, which are just what they sound like.

Answer 3

Frankly, juries won't convict under these circumstances.

You can only press charges on civil matters, this is a criminal matter, so the DA has to press the charges. If the DA doesn't think this is winnable, they aren't going to waste their time.

Even when these types of cases do get pressed, and a conviction is made, at best, the guy gets a slap on the wrist. Now-a-days, with sex offender registries, perhaps it's a bit more of a long lasting impact.

He is not pressing charges against you, but if you push the issue of statutory rape with him, is he going to change his mind and press charges against you? You will have no influence over the situation if you are in jail.

Was your daughter really an unwilling participant here? That is your real problem. You are not going to be able to work with your daughter about her choices if you make her mad by beating up and prosecuting her boyfriend. A year from now, she will be 18 and won't be speaking to you.

I can understand how you feel, but your actions are only making things worse, not better. Calm down and have a talk with your daughter.

Answer 4

I'm just gonna get straight to the point:
I live in Tennessee and I have copied a line from the Tennessee by-laws that states the legal age of consent for teens. Here is is:

" If the girl is less than 13, then she can not consent to have sex with anyone, and sexual contact with the girl is Aggravated Sexual Battery, a class B felony, meaning you could do up to 30 years in prison, even if the girl consented, started it, had previously had sex with others or even was working as a prostitute, and even if you are a minor yourself when you have sex with her."
"What this means is that if the girl is between age 13 and 18 she can consent to have sex with someone up to four years older than she is, but for anyone older than that it is statutory rape, and for any girl less than 13, she is too young to consent to having sex with anyone. The sole exception is that if the girl was legally married to her sexual partner at the time they had sex."

The legal age to get a marriage licence in the state of Tennessee must be at least 16 years old and if under 18, must have a parent, guardian, or next to kin to sign.

I was very surprised when I first read this, and this morning was when I did it. If my daddy ever caught me having sex with anyone (which is hard on the fact that I've never consented to sex with anyone nevertheless dated a boy) he would of did the same thing only he might of killed him. I wouldn't say you did the right thing by beating the guy to a pulp, but it was the first reaction that came to you. Protectiveness. I understand. But next time, don't beat him up. Just throw him out the door butt naked. At least the neighbors will get a laugh out of it and if you're really lucky, he could get arrested for indecent exposure. LOL :-)
Hope This Helped. :-)

Answer 5

This is a tough question. I have a daughter and looking at it from my point of view I would say NO! Because most likely if my daughter was with someone that was older than her she must have feelings for him. Also if she like him I would have to learn to accept it. Because either way If I was to press charges and she chose to still be with him once she did become legal then I would still be the bad one for screwing up there lives. All honestly it depends on the situation But thats my opinion and choice No... Good Luck... C. Ray

Answer 6

yea sorry she is at the age of concent
check this website it tells you every states age of concet!
every state is between 16-18 sorry

http://www.actwin.com/eatonohio/gay/consent.htm

idk if i would have beat the hell out of him but at the same time he might have had it coming idk him or what happened
you need to have a talk w/ your daughter don't just take it out on everyone els...what are you gonna do in a year when shes 18 or when shes 21? you cant keep her a baby forever there
good luck


EDIT: I'm not really evil, I promise....way to copy the website i already posted!! next time do your own work b4 posting advice!!

if she really was raping your daughter you were a better guy then my dad is cuz my dad would have just shot him and thought nothing of it!....its still time for a major sit down w/ your daughter let her know she can tell your anything and you are there for her!

Answer 7

I believe in most places 16 is the legal age to consent but I thought there were laws where a certain age difference could still consitutite rape (ie 16 year old girl and 21 year old guy or something). I can understand your anger though but honestly why did you let your 17 year old date a 20 year old in the first place?

Answer 8

What you did was reprehensible, beating some one up to the point of them needing hospitalization is insane, you need to be locked up, not the boy. And yes, the age of consent is 17 in Illinois, so it is perfectly legal for your daughter to have sex with her boyfriend, and you can't do a damn thing about it. In my state, the age of consent is actually 16, so I'm old enough to have sex too. Still, I think instead of attempting to send the boy to jail they should be worrying about you, you're clearly the dangerous one here.

Answer 9

As much as the urge is there you broke the law and you could go to jail not him. He needed an ambulance thats assault and battery and it could even be pushed as far as deadly assault and battery. I live in FL and that's the law here too. And age of consent is actually 16 in most states. She is almost an adult you cant control her but for another year and I guarantee you she will run buck as* wild behind your back and once she turns 18. Been there done that. As the teenager and she wont learn til she's already f*cked up. Talk to her and tell her how disappointed you are and all that other crap. Yelling, cussing, and gettin hostile with them will make her block you out and not hear or care about what your saying.

Answer 10

Please, first you need to take a deep breath. Ok, so I think the main thing to do is to discuss this CALMLY with your daughter. The first thing you need to remember is that 17 really isn't a child anymore, put yourself in her shoes for a second. She's a 17 year old girl, young beatiful, she has a world of possibilities in front of her, and so many exciting things are happening to her at once. Sex is a big deal, but at 17, she deserves the right to make some decisions of her own. You can educate her on all the risks of sex, and you can ban it from happening in your house, but if you get mad everytime it happens, she's going to feel like you don't trust her and she may rebel anymore. You need to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't do anything wildly dangerous, but she also needs you to trust her and allow her to make her own decisions.