This past summer she had a falling out with me ( her mom)and her sister got into a physical fight because I approached her about her taking her sisters clothes. She became very aggitated. She expressed her dissappointment in me. Thinks I am a loser because I live with my 84 yr old mom and take care of her. She called me many names and hit me before she left. She left a message on my cell, wishing I would die and make it fast. She was very drunk when this happened, however she has expressed her feelings at other times as well. I love my daughter, but feel better now that she is not around. Alot less drama. She recently contacted her dad ( we are divorced) on" her "birthday, but did not remember him on his birthday. I don't know what to do for Christmas, I want to give her a gift, and I called her boy friend, he said I should leave it at her dads house . Should I even give her a gift?? I have my doubts Please advise Thanks
2007-12-21 03:49:47 · 19 answers · asked by sweetpea 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The best gift for her would be for you two to get some counseling to help communicate. God Bless
2007-12-21 03:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something in your daughter's heart that tells me someone or something has hurt her. She does not really mean those things. She could just be very immature for that age, some children take longer to grow up than others. I would think of what you think could possibly be the root of the problem. Then think of the child you loved and gave birth to. Remember, she is your daughter. And life is precious, either one of you could pass in a moments time. I suggest a letter to start with. Try to figure out where she is coming from. Often a conflict with a parent and child, is not seeing the other person's perspective. And even if it was not Christmas, show your daughter you love her no matter what. Love should be genuine and given without the thought of doubt. Hope that helps, Merry Christmas!
2007-12-21 03:59:54 · answer #2 · answered by shellcat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sounds of it...a jail cell...but since you probably don't want to press charges...
Buy her a card. Put a BREIF note (as she'd likely rip-up any letter) in it wishing her the best. Put gift card for store she uses in with the card.
If you truely want to get the point across to her, draw-up a will and send her a copy, indicating that she will have no right to anything in your vast estate...and a short note asking her if she wishes you to file it with the courts. However, I'd not advise it, as she may just tell you to. Same with documents disowning her or any other such...it's too easy to backfire on you.
Personally, I would drop the docs on her...but that's me. Also, I personally would NOT give her a gift, although if she came home with her tail tucked between her legs I *would* have a card pre-made for her, and if she apologises enough, take her out to dinner later in the week as a "belated" Christmas gift.
By the way...a Looser is one who refuses to accept the burdens life puts upon us, it that burden is an infirm parent, so be it.
2007-12-21 04:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't deserve a gift. Get her a card, if anything, but don't put money in it. Don't be a doormat for her... she sounds like an intensely hurtful human being. Or, she has a hidden drug problem too. If you give her something, she may barge over in the middle of the night to yell at your about how much your present sucked and you shouldn't have bothered. Have a relaxing Christmas.
2007-12-21 03:54:06 · answer #4 · answered by boots6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you know that you love your daughter and your confussed just ask her to talk to you and Maybe she will listen ask her what her problumn is lately? And maybe if you buy her something give it to her in person dont give your douts . i mean she is your Daughter and you know you love her and just because you are liveing with you mom it doesnt matter you are helping her and your daughter has no right to be saying that i mean if she had nouthing and no were to go were the hell do you think she would go for help her mom.
So give her a present and maybe just go to her and tell her that i am not here to argue and jist have a sit down talk just make sure that she is Sober.
2007-12-21 03:57:12 · answer #5 · answered by jenna_robinett 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest something small, nothing to extravagant. She may not apprieciate the gift at all, but one day when she really needs someone, she will remember that even when she kicked you out of her life, you still made the effort to stay in hers. I agree with leaving it at her father's house. You never know, that one small gift could change her heart.
Regardless of this situation, I hope that you and your family have a very Merry Christmas! 8)
*~Happy Holidays~*
2007-12-21 03:54:34 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Genipher♥ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gifts are not given because they are deserved. If that were the case, none of us would get a gift, none of us are pure as the driven snow. But you said yourself, that you WANT to give her a gift, if that is true, then do so. No strings attached, just a gift that you want her to have. She may some day come to realize that she does love you, she may not, but her feelings are not at stake here, YOURS are. Do this for your own soul, your own sense of well being.
2007-12-21 04:23:20 · answer #7 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buy her the gift. Leave it where she will pick it up. I have four children that I dont always see eye to eye with and I would be more hurt if I didnt express my love for them whether theya re capable of expressing love for me or not. She obviously needs time to grow a little more, let her have that time. as far as hitting you, she should not hav edone that........but we are to forgive, and what better seaon to do so?
2007-12-21 03:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by smcp1965 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't... shes no respect for you, she deserves no present. She doesnt even deserve to be loved by you, but ... theres no real fighting that is there. Sometimes people have to realize... life doesnt owe you anything. You cant just spit on someones face and just because they are family expect them to forever bear you love and help at the first call. Your daughter needs a damn lesson.
2007-12-21 03:54:48 · answer #9 · answered by billgoats79 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first instinct is no...let her be for a while. She will come back when she hits bottom. However, a gift for her may soften her hardened heart. If may make her to understand that you love her regardless of her feelings for you. She will understand this better as she gets older.
2007-12-21 03:56:11 · answer #10 · answered by spruder1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋