I am married to a marine, he is in Iraq. Things have been rocky between us, but I recently met a wonderful guy in a class I'm taking. I think I'm falling for him. What do I do? Part of me feels bad, but there is a part of me that wants this. Serious answers only need apply. Thanks. Anyone else in this predicament?
2007-12-21 03:47:30 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Always Complete One Relationship, Before Starting Another".
Doing it any other way is just "Drama".
Your Obligation should be to your Husband & Marriage, & if it is over you should finish it, before "Thinking" of another man.
2007-12-21 03:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Evidently you did not really love your Marine. This marriage was a mistake from the first point. If this is not true, then you better think seriously about the consequences of what you are doing by encouraging this situation. Marriage is not supposed to be easy but it is an agreement that each of you will respect each other for better or worse (That includes "Rocky") It is easy to run away to another guy. Then ask youself who will be next. When will you stop skipping form man to man and face the responsibilities of marriage and keep your part of the bargain.
OF course of you feel badly enought then you shoudl ask the Red Cross to arrange and special leave for your Marine, bring him back home and tell him to his face that you are casting him off because you don't care to face the responsibilities of marriage. Because you and he had had some arguements you find that the grass is greener in some other fellows yard. At least you can be honest though you may be unfaithful
2007-12-21 04:02:31 · answer #2 · answered by organbuilder272 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
You need to end the first marriage. Its the mature thing to do if you cannot work things out. Rocky situations happen even between people who like each other. Learn to work on fixing things before moving on to the next just because there is no "rocky" moments at this time. Its fair, its mature, and you will always know that you worked hard at making a relationship work.
2007-12-21 03:56:29 · answer #3 · answered by anaise 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Email me anytime... jenadee_01@yahoo.com
You have not cheated on your husband.. you are simply asking if anyone else has felt the way you do.. right? It's tough when your husband is overseas: you are taking care of everything at home by yourself, you are constantly worried about him, and you are lonely. I've felt the same way. I had to finally sit down one day and say, "Ok.. I'm a grown woman. Yes it sucks being here day to day without my husband.. but he doesn't have me either. Do I want to end a relationship with someone I've known and loved for so many years or do I really think I could actually love and care about someone else the way I do him?"
My husband came back from Iraq a completely different person. His temper wasn't the best before he left, but it was ten times worse when he returned. He kept having flashbacks and would take a lot of his anger out on me. (not physically.. but verbally). I finally sat down with him and just said, " Do you not realize I COULD have done to you what so many other military wives have done to their husbands while they are away!" You should have seen the look on his face. I didn't say it to hurt him. .but I wanted him to realize that I DID have opportunities but I did not act on them. I stuck by him while he was away and I would do everything in my power to help him now that he was home.. but I would NOT be scared to live in my own house.
He's been home for 2 years this Christmas Eve and I "somewhat" have my old husband back. He still has "moments". .but don't we all! :) If you love him.. stick by him. It won't be easy.. but who said loving someone was easy?
Good luck and God Bless you..
2007-12-21 07:13:40 · answer #4 · answered by jenadee_01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want a serious answer... here it is. Do not cheat on your husband who is risking his life to protect your freedom. How Awful! You took vows before God and witnesses to love him and be his wife for better or worse. Right now with him away you cannot work on your problems, but my goodness, you should at least give him the chance to help you work it out. And not just part of you should feel bad about this... all of you should. He is your husband who is most likely a very good man not cheating on you but wishing every minute the time will go by fast so he can be home with you again. Yes you deserve love too, but you both deserve loyalty and your husband should be able to trust his wife to stay loyal to him and trust she will be there with open arms when he returns... if he does... he is risking his life!
How about paying attention to the class in which you are taking instead of some guy who is not your husband! Is this a serious enough answer for you?
2007-12-21 03:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by homemaker 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well it's natural to be attracted to someone when your marriage is rocky. You have to remember though the grass isn't always greener on the other side.Besides this guy will only compound the problems you are currently having with your current marriage. You don't need that headache no matter how nice he is. Just wrap up things in your marriage before you start up with someone else.
2007-12-21 03:59:29 · answer #6 · answered by Shinigami 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is a really low thing to do considering your Husband is fighting everyday for his life and this country! Shame on you! If you don't love your H anymore do the right thing and file for divorce! Let your H have a chance with someone who will be faithful to him. You may not be having an affair yet, but you probably will if you let things keep going the way they are. I will tell you from firsthand experience that affairs are selfish and are so painful for everyone in the family!
I hope you use your head and stop being so selfish!
2007-12-21 04:39:38 · answer #7 · answered by jessiej83 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
That's really hard. I have had a similar ordeal. I think you should play out ( in your mind) the ultimate end point. What would really happen if you cheated on your husband, if he found out, if you divorced your husband, would this guy be with you? How would you feel in those situations and how would it affect your family/children etc.
Its easy to accept love and attention when you re starving for it and almost get addicted to it. It feels good - like a drug. But...if you let it go on without knowing everyone's intentions- you could be the one ultimately hurt the most.
2007-12-21 04:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I was kinda in the same situation. My marriage has been on the rocks and I found someone else and he swept me off my feet, I love him to death. I have never felt this way and that's how I know leaving my husband is the right thing to do. Make sure it's love and not lust there's a big difference. Ur husband is not here, ur feeling alone, mine was here and I was still alone.
2007-12-21 04:12:58 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Pure Evil♥ 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
You have to decide who you are. That is where your decisions come from. Are you the kind of woman who would leave her husband.
After you know who you are.. then you can do things like guard your heart. There are very specific things you can do that will keep you from falling "out of love" with your hub, and will keep you FROM falling "in love" with the student.
In 40 years, looking back, which decision are you going to regret more?
2007-12-21 03:56:06 · answer #10 · answered by Curly 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋