I have been in a relationship with a married man for almost 8 years. Before my relationship with him, my marriage was over - just not on paper. He tells me that the only reason he is still in his marriage is because of his children - he couldn't bare the thought of not seeing them every day. I have been divorced now for over a year and my children and I are very happy. It was the right decision for all of us and it was not because of the man I have been seeing - it would have happened regardless. The man I am seeing is positively my very best friend. I, however, find myself questioning the reason that he hasn't left since my situation improved - even for my children - when my ex-husband and I divorced. He has told me that his marriage was failing before I came along as well. There are times, however, that things just don't seem as he says. Do you think that I am waiting for nothing? Will I end up alone? Or, is there a chance he is 100% honest with me.
2007-12-21 03:23:09 · 11 answers · asked by kdcas10 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he is not going to leave his wife. I suggest you move on.
2007-12-21 03:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by Karen G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are facing the risk that anyone does being involved with someone who is married. That is not a judgement on you, but just the reality of the situation.
The hard truth is that he is using his children as an excuse to stay married. Right now he has his cake and is eating it too. Once the kids are older, it would be some other reason like his wife has health problems and he cannot just leave her etc.
He probably does not want to have to pay child support, or is afraid he will get raked financially in court.
You would likely be better off, even if you are in love with him, to give him an ultimatum that he leave his current situation, or you end the relationship (and mean it).
2007-12-21 12:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably being 99% honest with you. As a father I couldn't bare not to see my kids everyday either. As men we would love nothing more than to be there everyday for our children, and for some men it pushes them to stay in unhappy relationships. Also, he knows if he does divorce then he is out a butt load of money probably to her every month for spousal maintenance, child support, etc. He is caught trying to determine whether it is better for him to leave and be happy with himself, but miserable about not seeing the kids OR be miserable in his home life and hopefully still have you while having the capability to be the father to his children that he wants to be. It is a difficult decision to make.
2007-12-21 11:30:34 · answer #3 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why after 8 years would you wait? Have you ever seen a relationship that turned out well for the other woman? I haven't. Honestly if it was me I wouldn't be waiting any longer. I would be moving on if he won't. You can't sit and wait for someone else to do what they say when you have already waited almost a decade. I highly doubt he is staying just for the children and he needs to fiure out what he needs for himself....
Momma_Bear
2007-12-21 11:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by the_morris_bears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer, your looking for somebody to confirm your thoughts.....
you got a divorced that way you can restart your life, now do it, let go of the 'MARRIED MAN', when you begin living a life without this man, he just might see how much you meant and come back to you, in the meantime, I suggest going on with your life, making plans, dating, finding a man who deserves you... go on with life..... your giving this man exactly what he wants, his cake and eat it too......
you have the power to stop this man.....
be a strong woman do it !!!!!
2007-12-21 11:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by ஜღÐïåMóñdღஜ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably waiting on nothing and wasting a whole lot of good years for yourself. Why do you want a man that couldn't be faithful with his first wife in the first place? Infidelity is a ticking time bomb.
2007-12-21 11:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by LINDA C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dear, he's not entirely honest with you. He's pretty well content in his marriage and in your bed when the opportunity arises. That's about the size of it. You'll only be alone if you wait for this guy. Get out and find someone obtainable.
2007-12-21 11:30:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SUCKER!!!!
If I were to guess I would say he only wants "PLAY TIME" with you. It doesn't have to be sex, but I'd say that is part of it. He has his "family" life and he has you on the side. If I were to guess he also doesn't send time with you when you are with your kids because that would just not be fun. Sorry to say, but you are his play thing and nothing more. He has what he wants so he has no need to change anything.
2007-12-21 12:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've allowed yourself to lose 8 years of your life with someone who will never commit to you. Being in these type of relationships never work. Move on and find someone who is unattached.
2007-12-21 11:32:19 · answer #9 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sad part of all of this is he is leading you down a garden path. he is NOT going to get divorced. he does not need to. he has his wife for comfort, and you for sex. what else does he need?? move on sweetie, there are far better men for you to choose from out there.
2007-12-21 11:28:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋