I dated this guy over 4 years ago. I knew of his wife but didn't actually know her. They seperated and from my understanding at the time were in divorce proceedings. Over 4 years later, I met his wife through a mutual friend. We've become really close and I like her. I feel like I'm betraying her because I've dated him and don't know what to do. They're having marital problems now because of his infidelity...another woman. She asks me for advise all the time. Should I tell her about us or not? What would you do?
2007-12-21 03:20:50 · 10 answers · asked by QuEEn B 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you feel that it would hurt her, then spare her the additional pain.
Wouldn't that be something if there were others like you that befriended the wife?
2007-12-21 03:26:09 · answer #1 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you could write for the daytime dramas! There is no clearly great option for you, but if I were in your shoes I think I would not tell. Her husband cheats on her and she knows it -- that is the most important part of the story. If her husband cheated on her and she didn't know it, then I might think you had an obligation to tell her about him and you. What she decides to do with her husband will be made with the knowledge that he is a cheater. Therefore, telling her about him and you, as circumstances stand, would not benefit her in any way. I'd keep it to myself if I were you.
2007-12-21 11:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is your friend and you want to keep her then don't tell her. Simply give the advice as a friend and not as a former lover of her husband's. If they do break it off and you two remain friends then feel free to tell her, but if he hasn't discussed his past with you with his wife then her finding out from you now will only make things worse. Be a friend to her first and help her out with her relationship. If they call it quits then you can spill the beans. Good luck.
2007-12-21 11:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny, you feel like you're betraying her now but you had no problem betraying her before.
My advice would be not to tell her and to distance yourself from her. Not because she might find out, but because your exactly the kind of friend she doesn't need in her life.
Just because you don't know the person your hurting doesn't make it alright.
2007-12-21 11:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by Leaveamark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think you can be a good friend with good advise then advise her.
Right now being honest with her will only make you feel better and her more alone.
2007-12-21 11:45:30 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should tell her you dont know how to tell her but you briefly dated him 4 years ago and feel she should know you had problems with him to and parted cos you couldnt resolve them so you cant really be of any help to her with her probs
2007-12-21 11:26:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay completaly out of it if I were you! **exit stage right,,quickly
2007-12-21 11:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by KingDavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lay
2007-12-21 11:31:22 · answer #8 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't tell her, just listen to her.
2007-12-21 11:25:30 · answer #9 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell her
2007-12-21 11:25:57 · answer #10 · answered by snowman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋