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it started a long time ago. My mom was always cheating and stealing money from my dad for about 10 years and my dad was just so nice to her and always forgave her but she'd just do it again and my dad and her are getting a divorce now and it's jus about final so my dad went ahead and started dating and stuff and he's known some girl for 2 months and treats her as nice as can be and he's known me for 16 years and treats me bad and it hurts because he always was my best friend before he met her. When i tell him that this is hurting me he jus says"i dont care she makes me feel good and no body not even you can stop me from seeing her" and it's jus hurting me. and my mom is seeing someone too and i tell my mom and she jus says the same thing as my dad and i dont know what to do anymore i feel like i have no one.

2007-12-21 02:25:18 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

22 answers

Everyone suffers in a divorce, esp the children. Your dad probably knows you are hurting, but he is most likely angry with the whole situation, doesn't matter whose fault it was. He feels he deserves a life, and maybe feels that you are just jealous of his new relationship and don't want him to have it. Are you nice to the girlfried? I don't mean you have to make her your best friend, but courtesy and kindness to her will go a long way towards getting your Dad's respect, and the same goes for your Dad, even tho you feel left out.

You should tell him that you understand he needs to get on with his life, and wish him well with it. And also tell him that you miss spending some time with him, and see if you can make a date to go some of the things you used to do, even if it is just hanging out for a while.

Whatever you do, don't let your anger and resentment at the situation make you explode, and yell at him, that only makes things worse. I also know that at your age, it is hard to do because your emotions easily get the better of you in a frustrating situation. Don't whine, don't get angry, just be calm. Remember that he is having a hard time too, and probably feels as unloved as you do. People going thru a divorce feel cut apart, and lost, and full of uncertainties.

I know it is a hard time for you, but things will get better, your Dad will gradually come back to you.You know he still loves you, and you love him. Tell him.

Same thing goes for your Mom.

Good luck. If there is someone you can trust, like a teacher or counselor, it would be a good idea to talk to them. Sometimes you need someone else to help you through a rough time.

2007-12-21 02:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by Isadora 6 · 1 0

Aww, that totally sucks. My parents got a divorce when I was 3. However, my dad still prioritizes my step-mom over me his daughter (I'm 25 now), so I know how you feel. My stepmom influences my Dad to treat me less than worthy at times.

Be sure to be kind and respectful to your dad's girlfriend and your mom's boyfriend at all times. It only makes things worse for you if you create drama.

Do you have any siblings, or cousins you can talk to? How about friends? I am sorry you feel that way. Your parents went through some rough patches, and they did not make it through it. Now, they are trying to move on because believe it or not, they are hurting too. Sometimes, when parents move on with their lives, they forget about how their children are coping with things. Sometimes, they even get their priorities mixed up when a new face comes in the picture. You have to know they love you no matter how screwed up things may seem.

Start writing in a journal how you feel. Better yet, write your mom and dad a letter. Explain that you know they needed to get a divorce in order to be happy. Also explain what you have been feeling, and how neglected you have felt since they both have new lovers. That way, there is no interruption, they simply have to shut up and read. Sometimes written words are more powerful than spoken words.

If you are in school, you should enroll in after school activities and get an after school job. That will keep you from worrying about your situation at home all the time. You will find in time, your feelings will let up a little.

Hopefully, your parents will be more sensitive to your feelings.

Good Luck, and Happy Holidays!

2007-12-21 02:57:12 · answer #2 · answered by _nicole_ 4 · 0 0

Although you feel that you have no one, it is far from the truth. They still have feelings for you but since they are in the middle of a major incident in their lives, it is a difficult, at best, for them to express their feelings to anyone. Things will settle down soon and when they do and the denial portion of the divorce completes, the reality part will set in and you will have them both back. Especially if the people they choose in their lives as mates are of any value at all. They would encourage a relationship with you. Best thing to do is talk to your friends and remember that it is not your fault they are divorcing. It would probably be better this way. In the meantime, hang in there. Talk to school counselors if you can. If not tell your parents that you need to talk to someone and that you want counseling. If either of them have medical insurance you are eligable and...hey, after all, they are your parents.

2007-12-21 02:37:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0 0

It's tough I know as my parents got divorced when I was 14. The best thing I can tell you is that it is time to get tough. Mentally, emotionally, don't let this situation break you. I was almost suicidal for a while, but looking back on it I know it was not worth it to get so upset. Remember that there are so many other kids out there going through the same thing, you are not alone. Also, try to direct your energy into positive things, like school. The best thing I did for myself at this time was graduate in the top ten in my high school and get into shape.

Also, try if you can to get along with your dad's gf if she is not a witch. If it is one those weirdo significant age-gap relationships then just minimize your contact with them until hopefully your dad comes to his senses. But try not to get into negative conversations with your father. You will regret it later. Another thing is make sure you don't fall into relationship traps as you get older. I found myself getting into it with women with baggage and that were too young for me until I realized I had to dump my own emotional baggage before I could expect anything healthier.

Best of luck, and remember again that you are not alone.

2007-12-21 02:52:36 · answer #4 · answered by Blindman 4 · 0 0

Your family still loves you, and I'm sure this is a hard adjustment. Your parents have been unhappy for a long time, now they are happier. However, none of this is your fault, don't take it so personal that they are a bit consumed with their new partners. They need to be happy also, yet they do not love you any less. Theh best thing you can do is participate. Try to be more accepting of their new partners and want them to each be happy. They love you very much. You are 16, at an age where you haven't been so involved anyway. You are having trouble seeing them move on. you need to accept it and want them to be happy, they deserve it. So involve yourself and get to know their new partners. They aren't your new parents, but they can be new friends.

2007-12-21 02:32:33 · answer #5 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 0 0

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2016-11-23 19:36:33 · answer #6 · answered by Erika 4 · 0 0

Buddy, you need a pal. Remember you are not the only one in this difficult situation and many teenagers are in the same boat. Get involved in something like Al-Anon which is a great support group made up of people with difficult situations to handle in life. Good luck.

2007-12-21 02:34:25 · answer #7 · answered by Hirise bill 5 · 0 0

Try getting involved in after school activities to broaden your pool of friends. Maybe do some volunteer work to keep active. Maybe after your parents divorce is final they will have more time for you. Also maybee get to know thier friends a little better and you might find that you like them too.

2007-12-21 02:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by nancy m 3 · 0 0

Dude, what you have to do is. Support them. They are going through a divorce. Tension is very high. They're just looking for something/ someone to relieve the stress. Be patient. After the divorce and crap, stuff will calm down and they will be nicer. Trust me. Hope that helped. I hope things get better!

2007-12-21 02:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by Yank33_Fan 1 · 1 0

This may be a good opportunity to pursue your relationships with your extended family, like uncles, aunts, and cousins. Everyone in your family is celebrating this year, and not all of them can be selfish. I'm sure if you pursue other forms of connection with others from your family, you might find an inkling of what you're looking for.

If not, your friends are the family you choose.

2007-12-21 02:28:55 · answer #10 · answered by smbfc 3 · 1 0

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