Last September 2006, i had a beautiful baby boy who was stillborn. I think about him still to this day. i wonder how it would be with him here and how he would be growing up. my sister in law knows that i lost a child, but decided to name her child the same name as my child. to make a long story short, she didn't ask if it would be ok or anything! to top it all off, she spell the baby name the same as well. i was offended when i would out, because she know i lost my fullterm baby last year. i don't know what she was thinking!!! do i have a right to feel this way?
2007-12-21 00:55:44 · 15 answers · asked by hotgurl 04 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
You absolutely do. I think that was very insensitive of her. Are you sure that she didn't mean for it to honor your child? Even so, she should have asked you, and she should have used it as a middle name. I'm sure it reminds you of your baby. I'm so sorry for your loss!!
2007-12-21 04:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you have every right to feel the way you do.Your sister in law is a self centred S.O.B. Unfortunately we can't controll what other people do. It seems as though she is trying to stick it to you for some reason. By the way whats the matter with your brother for letting his wife name their baby with the same name. There are hundreds of thousands of other names to choose from.. Never ever stop thinking about the baby that you lost. Hopefully in time you will come to realise that God works in mysterious ways. My sympathy is with you in this holiday season.
2007-12-21 09:22:07 · answer #2 · answered by ellb48 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you do!! It is very inconsiderate. Some ppl are much more sensitive than others, this person lacks EMPATHY and perhaps is callous enough to have done this on purpose. All you can do is remember you son, but do not become obsessed with things and ppl that hurt you. This will only lead to depression, anxiety and a feeling that will prevent you from resolving your grief. Be strong, be mature, and let it go...It takes practice but you will get there.
2007-12-21 09:10:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You totally have a right to be angry. She's a real piece of work, isn't she. I also would wonder why your brother let her do that. I had a stillborn baby girl this past June and I would be devastated if someone did that to me.
2007-12-21 13:07:32 · answer #4 · answered by ovaltini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. even if they were doing it to honor your son it would still need to be discussed with you and handled lightly. I am not under the impression that they were doing that so it is absolutely horrible. Is it possible for you to pull your brother aside and let him know how much this hurt you? Maybe he and his wife are oblivious or maybe they are just rude. I think you will feel better if you at least shared how you feel about this situation so its not eating at you.
Im so sorry for you loss.
2007-12-21 09:54:17 · answer #5 · answered by Ann B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be offended too! Try to look at it this way... the name you picked out was so wonderful, your sis and bro loved it too. Look at the baby, and his name, as a tribute to the beautiful name you picked out and the child that you lost.
Warmest Wishes!
2007-12-21 09:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by ChefMel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you that is messed up. It is almost like saying your son never exsisted and that isn't okay. I would tell her how you feel, tell her that you want to love your nephew but right now all you feel is resentment. That is terrible that she thought she could do that....
I am so sorry for your loss, she sounds insensitive....I would say something so you dont resent her and your nephew for the rest of your life because that name brings you pain....
2007-12-21 09:32:36 · answer #7 · answered by For my scars shall mold me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable that you feel this way but many childnre in teh same extended families have the same name. That said, my brother in law and his wife lost a baby early int eh second trimester adn as much as we love what they named him we would NEVER use that name.
2007-12-21 08:59:17 · answer #8 · answered by Betsy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It's understandable that you would feel that way. But hopefully, you can find peace and forgiveness in time. After all, you may want to spend time with the child and it's not his fault that his mom is insensitive.
2007-12-21 09:10:24 · answer #9 · answered by nowyouknow 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, i can't believe that a family member would go naming their child the same as yours. You do have the right to be offended regardless of if your son had survived or not.
I would be saying something to her about it. That is so wrong to do. how inconsiderate.
2007-12-21 09:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by Cindy; mum to 3 monkeys! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋