Any advice for a 17 year old pregnant girl?

Question

I'm only 17, but I got pregnant on the second date. I don't believe in abortion, except in extreme cases like where the baby has half a head or is a mermaid or something.

I don't really want the father to be round because he's really irresponsible, and actually, grows cannabis. I don't want me or my baby to be mixed up in that. I'm drawn between turning him in and not, because I'm a very law abiding citizen (grade A in law), but he's also the father to my kid. Any help with that?

And also, anyone have any idea how i can tell my family? Thats the thing im most worried about really. I'm just scared out of my mind!

Answer 1

Hey I got pregnant when I was 16 and I know have a beautiful 18 month old baby girl, so all your worries now will be totally worth it when you baby for the first time - that I can promise you.

As for the father - I thinkn you should let him get on with his thing but if he ever tries anything where the child is concerned 'cos he feels he has a right with it being his - then you can use the cannabis/police thing against him (I know this sounds wrong but it is usually the only way these people understand anything - the father of my child is a dealer and shortly after having Lily he began to threaten me unless I let him see her - and when he did (the ONCE may I add) she was surrounded by his junkie mates and loads of cocaine stashed in the house so I threatend him with the police after that and he has since left me and my little girl to live our lives.

When it comes to telling your family - you really cannot prepare them or your self when it comes to telling them - but no matter what their original reactions are, high chances are they will soon get around to the idea and want to be there to support you and the child.

I hope I have helped you as I know how alone you can feel at such a time and how difficult things can seem.

I would also like to add that just because you are pregnant, it does not mean your life is over because of your age - I still went to college and I started university back in september. I have had a lot of help from my friends and family as well as the government who have aloud me to have help with my childcare - so there is always away around things if you eant something bad enough and do not feel that having a child so young is the end of all of your dreams and aspirations.

Answer 2

Firstly the fact that you are making the mature decision to have the baby is very brave of you nomatter how small a feotus it is still a child growing inside you.
For the father of the baby atleast let him know about the child he does have a right to know and given a chance to act and if he stills continues being the irresponsible person that he is you move on a child does not need to be brought up in such situations he/she may end up going thorugh things that are unecessary and have a life long damaging effect
and as for telling your family there are no two ways about it just tell them, there is going to be anger and disappointment but all that wears away with time to love and support.
You'll be just fine just make sure that you will learn a lesson from this you are too young to be having sex let alone being a mother unfortunatly the card has been delt you will make it through you seen like a very smart girl, and everything happens for a good reason
Good luck with it all

Answer 3

honey, why on earth if you are so big on law did you get yourself mixed up with this guy?
anyway, there is no easy way to tell your family im afraid. you just have to do it. its going to suck, they will be disappointed and probably mad, but the sooner you do it the sooner you can move on to the importent stuff. getting to the doctor, making sure you are healthy, etc...

i wish i could tell you everything will be fine and dont worry, but you do need to worry. you are entering a new life, and you need to be ready (or as much as you can be) and willing to take on the responsibility.

i know i sound like a downer, but i was your age when i had my daughter and it has been soooo incredibly hard. do a couple of things different than i did.
1. dont give up on college or at least formal training. it will be a life saver later on.
2. dont try to be the 'cool' mom. its not worth it, do what you know is right and stick to it.
3, dont listen to every bit of advice from every person you meet. they may mean well, but you cant please everyone, and you WILL go insane trying.
4. dont exclude the father if he is willing to participate. but not while he is doing what he is doing. stick to your guns, you have to protect the baby first and formost.

i can go on for a long time, but you get the idea. i totally understand how you feel. i was terrified, i was a wreck, how was i going to take care of a baby?
i made it, but it was and still is the hardest thing i have ever done.

good luck. i hope you learn faster than i did. i truly want everything to turn out for you.

Answer 4

Well at least you are being sensebile about your approach regarding not wanting contact with the father of your child given his track record with drugs,and given that he is involved..I would have to say ..ignore the fact that he is the father of your child to be and speak to the cops about his drug usage.As for being scared about telling the family,that too is understandable,but I am sure you will be surprised in the way they react,most families become very supportive ..so why not bite the bullet and tell your mum..take a friend along to give you some back up support as it were..that way you do not have to face the ''Spanish Inquisition '' lol..alone..good luck with the baby to be..Of course on here you will get lots of advice no doubt..but the final descision in both cases..the B/F and family ultimately is yours and yours alone to make..do not feel under pressure,but give yourself some time to think on your options rather than running around in a panic,or feeling scared ....which usually ends up making things worse for you in the long run.If it helps write down what you think you would like to do and what you wolud not want to do ..good luck...Bobby

Answer 5

I admire your courage in continuing with the pregnancy. It won't be easy, but you are a mother now and are responsible for the care of your child.
The news will be a shock to your family and it may take them awhile to get used to the idea, but once the baby is born, I'm sure they will be very supportive. I have a couple of friends who were in similar situations to yours. Their parents found it difficult to come to terms with during the pregnancy, but as soon as the baby arrived, they welcomed mother and child with open arms and became the most supportive parents/grandparents imaginable.
Do you have a friend you can confide in? An older female who is not your mum (someone who's a bit removed emotionally) can be great too: an aunt, friend's mum, etc.
See your doctor and get some medical advice too so you can give your baby the best possible start in life.

Answer 6

As a parent I would want to know as soon as possible. The whole situation has changed your life as you knew it and the time is now to stand and take responsibility so that those who love you can help. Those that don't support you will make themselves known very quickly. Weather the father is around or not, he helped make the baby so he needs to pay for the baby.
Wish you the best of luck and a new life with your child as the only thing that matters now.

Answer 7

Your in a pickle, tell parents straight up and the father does have rights, not the first things on our minds when having sex that the person choosen could be attached for the rest of our lives but they are the breaks.

Babys are great but you are too young in my opinion and you will need all the help you can get, but a drug free environment for you and baby would be ideal.

Sorry no answers other than tell parents.

Answer 8

Let's see here. Ur 17, pregnant, no good boyfriend, parents don't know, second date. And who is irresponsible? Ur already mixed up in his world. U knew this when? Turning him in won't do nothing, but cause u more troubles than what u have on ur plate now. It's seems to me like now that ur pregnant ur turning om him. He is not the only one to blame here. U need to sit and have a family discussion. U and ur boyfriend with ur parents and his. How old is he? This needs to be addressed so that ur parents can help u and lead u in the right direction. Second date should not have u in this predicament. U should be worrying about date #3,4,5but now you have to worry about another person's life. Good luck in this quest, but let ur parents know now like RIGHT NOW AT THIS MOMENT.

Answer 9

Don't turn in the dad. One day he may get his act together and won't have a prison record and can get a better job and pay better child support. You will say I don't want any but you never know what you the baby will need. Also if he does get busted let it be his fault not yours.

As for mom and dad you just get it over with, if you don't want an abortion wait until the 5th month to tell them but for now go to planned parenthood for prenatal care as you need to be checked by a Dr frequently

Answer 10

hi and I know your scared but honestly it's amazing how often your family will help you when you feel you are alone. As for the dad I am thinking leave well alone if he is into drugs he may start on hard drugs and he could be a rotton example to your child, also if you do report him it may come back to haunt you. Explain to your mum what happened we are all human and all get carried away in the moment, tell her how frightened you are I pray she will help you as, mum's are usually good at that, be prepared for a lot of noise but when the news sinks in I am sure everyone will rally round. I send you and your baby my best wishes whatever your religion or not, may God bless you and yours, take care angel and get mum on one side and tell her(or dad or someone who loves you if they arn't there)