i need help with my mum who just drinks and wants to die?

Question

i have my mum liveing with me at the moment she wasliveing on her own she has been in hopstail for her drinking she is luckey to be here she layed in bed for 5 weeks no food just her drinking she was walking around were she live in her jimmeys i need some one to help me i have 5 children they are finding it very hard to cope with her and her drinking my brothers have walked away they do love our mum but they cannot stand all the drinking she dont even eat unless i cook but she would sooner drink than eat please if any one can tell me where to go for some help anita

Answer 1

call social services and see if u can be made her legal guardian. then have her put in a treatment facility.

Answer 2

It's not really possible to help an alcoholic much (which I assume she is) unless and until they are ready to help themselves. She might not even be prepared to admit she is an alcoholic and until she accepts this, she will be resistant to much help.
You could secretly water down her alcohol a bit, but with five children you have your hands full without having this added job. That might help her liver and kidneys physically, but won't address the underlying psychological and physical problem of addiction. And just telling her to pull up her socks doesn't work, as it would just make her feel worse.
You could try to lift her out of her depression, which might help a bit, and if loneliness was the cause, then family life might help.
Try to encourage her to engage in doing things instead of moping around. She probably doesn't feel very well with all that self abuse, but getting fresh air and having exercise would make her feel better. You need to encourage her to eat healthy food if she doesn't eat much, but this can be difficult because alcoholics do lose their appetite.
You can tell her how much you love her and hate to see her ruining her health, and that you want her to live and that it would be a good idea for her to seek help through her doctor or through Alcoholics Anonymous. But if she is unwilling, these programmes would probably not work and if that is the case,just suggest that she tries bit by bit to cut down to half what she normally drinks, and maybe limits drinking to one area in the house. The reason I suggest that is because if she only associates one room with drinking, then if you can get her to go into other rooms for part of the day she might not be so tempted to drink all the time.
There is an organization in England called Al Anon which helps the families of alcoholics - the members are a mutual support group of people who have a close member of their family who is an alcoholic. They might have some ideas. Or maybe an internet website might.
I have had a long-term relationship with more than one alcoholic and I have read a lot about the problem, symptoms and psychology. It is an addiction which is very hard to stop. My own feeling is that if you can't help them to stop drinking, you can at least try and contain it by making their life a bit better and more normal, and trying to stop the worst excesses. If it causes too much distress to the whole family and becomes disruptive, you have to put your family first. It might not be too bad for them to have to cope with a sick relative, but they should not have to deal with someone who turns nasty and diverts your attention from caring for them, or who creates frequent unpleasant tension in the home.
I hope you are able to find help. Best wishes

Answer 3

anita your mum obviously has a problem on her mind and is using alcohol to make her forget.sit her down and talk to her ask her how life is treating her. try and find out the reason for her drinking problem.also try and get her mind off alcohol, take her out to the beach or for a picnic.maybe let her spend time with her grandchildren,slowly get a psychologist involved.don't make it known that she is seeing the shrink,maybe introduce the psychologist as a friend of yours. the three of you should try and become friends do stuff together but at the same time give your mum therapy.give her a reason to live. show her how much you need her around.make her feel good about herself.

i hope all works out.

take care

Answer 4

First of all,let me compliment you for being a gud daughter and not deserting your mom like your brothers did.

Why does your mother want to die? Is she under some sort of depression? Did she face any great sorrow in life which made her lose her interest in life? You shud get to the root of this problem.She might need psychatric help.

Also,from where does she get the money to drink? Curb her outings and remove all the bottles from your house.Behave kindly with her, no matter how much fuss she creates.Ask your kids to do the same ( i kno its tough to do tht,but try your best). Take her(when she's sober) to a good psychatrist.With his help,get her enrolled in Alcoholics Anonymous or some other good de-addiction centre.Hope your mom gets well soon.All the best !

Answer 5

This may not be the answer you expect, but there is nothing you can do to stop a person from drinking. An alcoholic must want to stop... you cannot do it for her.

Furthermore, if your mother really wants to die, there is really not much you can do to stop that either.

Let me suggest she has chosen to drink herself to death as a form of suicide. In my mind, we all must die at some time in some fashion. I think it is best you do what you can for her, make her comfortable, and say your finally goodbyes. Soon she will be no longer be a part of your life and both she and your family will be better off because of her departure.

Answer 6

I'm a psychologist and I find it very hard to give you advice to this.
The whole idea is that you don't 'aid' an alcoholic in drinking themselves to death, you leave them be until they hit rock bottom. But how do you leave your mom?
You are in between a rock and a hard place my friend.
I'd be glad to give you some numbers to get help but it seems to me you're not living in the us. Please correct me if I'm mistaken.
First thing first, you need to know you're not responsible for your mom no matter what. Second you will need to tell her to either get help or leave your house. She will not get better otherwise.
If you live in the US, please contact me via email and I'll be glad to give you the numbers.
YOU have to think of your children first. I'm not telling you this bc I went to school and someone told me this, I had two parents who were alcoholics.
The sad truth is, that eventually your mom will kill herself, if she doesn't get HERSELF help.
You take care of yourself! This isn't on you!! This is on her!
Best of luck to you and please e mail me if you want to talk!!
~V.

Answer 7

you need to talk to your mom and tell that her drinking is becoming a serious problem not only for herself but for you and ur children. remember to tell her that you love her and thats why you want to help her and try to get her into a rehab center.
hope everythin works out fine for you and your family

Answer 8

she needs to be OUT of your home... try rehab, women's shelter...

you can't "get her life together" or make her eat. it's up to her... and sadly if she wants to kill herself with alcohol, you can't change it.

you might try going to some Alanon meetings for the best support and advice.. Alanon is a support group designed for people like you, whose life has been affected by an alcoholic. and if you have older children -- they might try Alateen... both organizations have websites. just do a search.

Answer 9

Care for her and maybe bring her to rehab or sumtin.
Let your kids make her a scrapbook of your good old family past to remind her the joy in life so that she have sumtin to live for.

Answer 10

church thats all god saved my bro he was such a bad drinker he had the worst type of sesiers and blood drippin from his mouth and eyes and went crazy came to god andnow he is the normallest rich and happy man cause god can do anything try therockchurches.com or myspace.com/ttherockcrossroads