it's been about a year and half since the whole thing happened.But I was dating my boyfriend for close to a year, we were very serious and we even lived together.We were having problems,so I broke it off with him,but we still loved each other and seen each other if ever possible. I decided I one day I wanted to end it completely.Not even 2 weeks later I heard rumors 1 of my very close friends was seeing him.I called her and asked her,& she lied straight to my face.She deleted me from her myspace friends the next day so she could post pictures of them.I was furious,because she was staying with him and sleeping with him..but the whole time for him he was getting drunk & having parties and she basically just through herself at him.Long story short..it lasted maybe 3 weeks.Then him and i got back together & now things couldn't be better.She and i have the same friends,so i see her alot,but i just can't get past what she did to me.I don't like to have such hate in my heart,what should i do?
2007-12-20 18:59:48 · 24 answers · asked by noturaveragegirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I really want to forgive her and move on but-i know it sounds stupid but i just don't know how? she's still a shady person and has done the same thing to many other friends. but at the same time i just want things to be cool between us, though i just can't let it be. she says she's learned from her mistake, but then why would she continue to do the same things.. it's just tough because she's always around, and i miss our friendship, and wish things were civil, but i don't want to allow her to hurt me again
2007-12-20 19:00:31 · update #1
Well, thanks to all the people who have hearts and care to answer in a sympathetic way! but to the few who are just here to be assholes, i don't care to hear it. i don't care if him and i weren't together at the time, she knew i was freshly hurt and to do that to me was wrong.
2007-12-20 19:17:54 · update #2
I am sorry that your friend betrayed you. The number one reason you need to forgive her is to let go of the negative feelings. Right now, your anger and resentment are controlling you, which takes away your power and gives it to her. Since forgiving is so very hard sometimes, I urge you to pray fervently every day that you can have the strenght to do it.
Once you free yourself from those chains, you will feel great. This will allow you to move on. Based solely on what you say, I think you should wake up and forget about trusting these people ever again. Why? Because you should forgive them in order to heal and live in peace, but if you let them walk all over you, then you show no respect for yourself. You deserve to be around people who love and appreciate you, not those who could not care less about your well-being.
Of course, it's up to you, but I hope you decide to move on and find a boyfriend/new friend who have good characters. There are many good people out there. If you observe their behavior, you will know who is kind and full of integrity by the way they behave. The truth is in the details - how they act when they think nobody is watching or paying attention!
All the best to you. We've all been there. Believe me! At least the person who stabbed you in the back is not in your family! Take care.
2007-12-20 19:13:10 · answer #1 · answered by chattypatra 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell her exactly how it made you feel and tell her that you would like to forgive her but are having a hard time because she really hurt you. Other than that I would just move on. I had a different situation happen to me and I still don't forgive the person for what she did. I don.t hate her but I will never forgive her. In case you were wondering she accused me of something that I would never and didn't do. Then to top it off she told people who were suppose to be my friends and they took her side.I don't feel bad for not forgiving her I chose to move on.
2007-12-20 19:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by BEAUTIFUL STRANGER 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 You and the guy were broken up, so you had no claim to him.
#2 If one was wrong then both of them were wrong, why is it you are perfectly happy with him and blaming her? It takes two.
# 3 You are certainly not pure as the driven snow, and as far as I can see the only thing you may need to forgive her for is lying, and since I'm sure you're not always perfect, you should just let it go.
2007-12-20 19:07:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally I would say find a way to talk about it and get it all out and make up and move on.... but this time, I don't know if I would be able to do that. If she indeed threw herself at him, maybe she had a thing for him all along. who knows what she will do if you let her back into your life, especially since you are back with the guy. Just be civil with her, don't look for trouble, but I would avoid her as much as possible
2007-12-20 19:06:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it was aw-full what she did and she cannot be trusted,But at least you know that so dont have her as a best mate just a acquaintance that way you can still be around her and it wont make you feel as uncomfortable how does the saying go for warned is for armed you should never trust her but you can be civil and it takes two after all GOOD LUCK
2007-12-20 19:10:25 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey you can and should forgive just because is good for you but taking either of them back is welcoming trash in to your life you xcuse ur boyfriend with drinking and what ever but that's a lie he's got to be as worthless as she is if he loved you as you said while broken up I think you need to reallllllly get your concepts straight he's a no good dog and u better be careful with the girlfriend if she gets in heat again, really girl how can you ask your friends and your man not to lie to you when you lie to yourself and act like you don't know it? can you see what I'm saying?
2007-12-20 19:18:19 · answer #6 · answered by Betty B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to sound harsh but your "friend" sounds like a real SKAN*. You say shes done this kind of thing to not only you but to others as well. Well hello -- Where is the ? here.
Blaming just her isn't the answer either baby it takes two to tango. He didn't just throw himself "in" her. She had his help in the matter. Both parties are equally guilty alcohol induced or not.
Quite honestly I don't know where the ? is. I know if it where me I wouldn't trust the two of them together. My advice... Find more trust worthy friends and keep your bf away from the alcohol
2007-12-20 19:08:37 · answer #7 · answered by Dana B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she was never the true definition of a friend in the first place. Betrayal is a difficult thing to get over and sometimes that never happens. I would be cautious with this girl, since you both hang in the same circles, but keep your distance. I know if you found it your heart to forgive your guy, then one you can forgive her, cause truthfully, they both are in the wrong.
2007-12-20 19:04:43 · answer #8 · answered by toknomskim 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
So, let me get this straight. You told your boyfriend that you wanted some space then you wanted to completely break it off with him and then you are mad because one of your friends was seeing him while you were not together with him?
And you're mad because she lied to ya about it? Were I your friend, I would have said " you guys aren't together anymore and now what he does is HIS business, not yours and if I'm seeing him then so what? You guys aren't together." but she was trying to spare your feelings and did it stupidly. She was trying to not get involved between you and him but just get with him while hoping that your "completely breaking it off" would happen and be final.
How can you blame someone for going into the trash and retreiving something that still works? Now that you're finding out that it wasn't broken you want it back?
Consider yourself lucky that your idiot boyfriend got back together with you and that it wasn't someone like me. I would have stayed with your friend and put it on display!
2007-12-20 19:09:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she actually was a close friend of yours, what u can do is to talk to her, explain everything and ask her to explain it in from her point of view. Say it nicely and makes her feel comfortable. Ask her not to lie because you want to make everything becomes clear, say that u actually miss her and want everything to go back to normal. I'm sure that actually deep down inside her heart, she actually miss u. Don't fight just because of a boy ,girl.
2007-12-20 19:06:10 · answer #10 · answered by Pinkygirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋