How can I change my toxic personality?

Question

I'm a total *sshole and I need to change, but I have no idea where to start. I constantly think about changing and how I'm going to act different. Then I fall right back into being the horrible person I'm so good at being. I'm one of the most toxic and poisonous personalities I know. I'm beginning to hate myself as much as everyone else hates me. I really can't have this crap rubbing off on my son or affecting him negatively.
The people that I've hurt in the past, are in the past. I'm not worried about making ammends because the words of life can't be erased. I'll just stay away.
I need to change now for my family's sake because they are kind of stuck with me. I'm just tired of hurting people. What can I do? Where do I start? If you have experience turning your personality around please give me some advice.
(I'm emotionally and mentally abusive to people that I love.)

Answer 1

read "the secret", it will change ur life forever

Answer 2

Well, at least you know you need fixing. That's a big start.

Do you love your son? Really, really love him? Because that can be the start of your change.

I agree with everyone else, you need therapy. In the meantime, try reading anything by Dr. Seligman, such as Learned Optimism and his newest book, I forget the name but it's about becoming a more positive person. For your son's sake, I hope you get help. Your child deserves it.

Answer 3

Well, it's a positive that you want to change. You see for yourself, your negative personality traits.

What jumps out at me is that you are harboring much anger (why I don't know, only you do) and that you have a 'must be in control' issue.

You most likely have other conflicts going on in your mind.

I suggest seeking help from a therapist. Your situation is very complicated. You know you're harmful - and yet continue to harm. This needs delving into.

Answer 4

Tough love! Its like any other addiction, you can only change it if you really want to. Just saying you want to, or thinking you want to isn't enough. And if this is a personality problem its going to be 10 times harder. So nothing will work (except maybe meds) unless you are willing to do it yourself. Otherwise you can go to therapy or see if you can get some kind of hormone meds to chill you out. Good luck!~

Answer 5

I can't say that I'm toxic or have been, but suggest that you go to a counsellor. Start telling them what you have said here...make a list of what you have done and what you want to change and why. They can work with you on the changes that you want to make. It takes practice...lots of it...every day. It can be a humbling experience. In between visits, read positive reinforcing books. It's not easy to do on your own. Good Luck...there's a lot of mean people out there that really don't give a sh*t.

Answer 6

you need to start with genuinely wanting to change. if you truly want to change, you can get there...you CAN do it! don't doubt yourself! but you're gonna have to do the work, and it's going to be very difficult.
you mention your personality affecting the people around you, but how is it affecting you? while it is important to want to change for the people that you love, it is most important to want to change for yourself, because you love yourself. i know this sounds terribly cheesy, but you really have to have self-love and respect before you can have healthy relationships based on mutual love and respect.

Answer 7

THERAPY. It works. It will help you find the source of the anger you're obviously feeling and deal with it.

Meditation can also help, but really you need to talk to a professional.

Answer 8

See a psychologist